View Full Version : The Greatest Cricketing sledges of all time

June 6, 2006, 01:27 PM
A friend sent me this and I thought of sharing it here:

The Greatest Cricketing sledges of all time:

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes
match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the
immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" and Botham's
reply was
"Wife is fine but the kids are retarded"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to
wicket,Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years
for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it
Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer
Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws
me a biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said
Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat".
Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv,
make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed
called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv
dismissed Javed:
"Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West
Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him
after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be
staring at
me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he
him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment
which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna
Ranatunga called
for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in
"You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and
was greeted
by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what
are you
doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for
JO :"Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck
like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever F**king mention my wife again,
F**ing rip your F**ing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam
Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.
Mark - "Ohh, I
remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t
then, you're
fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me
& when I was there
you were going out with that old, ugly who** & now I hear you've
married her. You dumb c**t".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri
batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to
the batsman out of his crease Warne: How do I get this fat
ba***** out
of his crease? Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar
on a good
length. That should do it."

12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who,
don't want to slander anyone) Shastri hits it to this guy and
looks for a
single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the
crease I'll
break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as
you can talk
you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man".

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played
missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you
going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the
wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to
first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred
doesn't say a
word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and
sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together,
Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.

15. This incident took place during a county championship match
between Glamorgan and Somerset. Glamorgan paceman Greg Thomas
had beaten the bat a couple of times and informed Richards:
"It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were
wondering." The very next ball was given the King Viv treatment
and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point
Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go
and find it."

June 6, 2006, 02:42 PM
16. Ganguly to pilot: why r u F**ing batting so slow?
Pilot: Learned from gavasker