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James90
October 8, 2003, 02:58 AM
I was wondering what people thought of my article on the main page. Personally i think it was **** but i spend 3 hours on it so i'm interested in what ppl think

Sham
October 8, 2003, 03:23 AM
Well done James!

Ehsan
October 8, 2003, 08:26 AM
Nice long piece.

fwullah
October 8, 2003, 08:40 AM
Well done!

It didn't occur to me before reading your article that all of those teams were and are playing against each other - one after another.

oracle
October 8, 2003, 09:12 AM
Good job and efficient for quite a long and comprehensive piece, 3 hours!

fab
October 9, 2003, 01:33 AM
Great job Habibul_fan! And some interesting questions at the end too. Just a few comments:

1. do ya have to call Bangladesh the minnows? (we already know that :P)

2. Somewhere near the beginning you stated that Mohsin Kamal captained Bangladesh.

Otherwise, well done!

James90
October 9, 2003, 01:55 AM
Lol i did...whoops...i sure hope he didn't

Mahmood
October 9, 2003, 10:37 AM
I fixed it.

rafiq
October 9, 2003, 10:51 AM
James, good job but if you want something more useful than "good job", some thoughts to consider:

1. The connection to Nov 12 was not immediately clear - Maybe stating that in para 1 would have helped. Actually there was a typo there - Sept 12? A common formula you can try is: set up your hypothesis in the first para, give the background and your arguments in the main body, and then come back to conclude if this is indeed a piece meant to persuade people that "such and such may happen by Nov. 12"

2. In general, your details on all the series and also the WC was good but probably too much.

3. because the piece was so long, I couldn't get to your overall hypothesis or conclusion ie. "What?" by November 12? Just that all these teams will have played each other? That fact by itself is not so interesting. But now if you were hinting that Bangladesh will have finally "arrived" or the balance of cricketing power would be changed by that date - that would be more interesting.

I think your message on the significance of Nov 12 was there, and you do come back to it in the last para, but the piece became too long for me to catch it quickly.

Take this as positive feedback...good luck

Big Cat
October 9, 2003, 05:24 PM
Good job James

James90
October 10, 2003, 04:37 AM
OK Rafiq, thx. I'm not a professional writer just yet. I didn't mean for it to be so long but there wasn't much i could do

rafiq
October 10, 2003, 10:17 AM
Sometimes I forget you are barely 13-14 (?). Your writing and attention to detail is truly excellent for your age. My son is 12 and while creative as a writer, he isn't ready to write for 3 hours straight and at the level of detail as you do. If you want to get serious as a writer, get into writing classes at school, talk to a teacher to mentor you - the more you practise it as a craft, the better you become. Keep it up!:)

Pundit
October 10, 2003, 10:26 AM
"Your writing and attention to detail is truly excellent for your age. "

- courtesy of being brought up in the "English sense" and not via the "short on attention span & TV-centric" study habits that are more common to American kids.