View Full Version : The Psychology of Fate

December 6, 2007, 09:51 AM
Fate... an interesting, confusing, encouraging and discouraging word at the same time. It takes many colors throughout our lives sometimes just putting us in front of blank-blind walls and sometimes opening up doorways to heaven almost.

But the question is –to what extent does fate rule our lives? Is it just that weak minds ask more from fate whereas strong ones take control of their own lives?

To what extent is fate a fact or just a state of our minds that provoke us to surrender in tough times?

How much does fate control our career, family, friendship & relationship circles? And how much of it do we create/advance through our own intelligence, instincts and confidence? How much do we know of taking control of things into our own hands from the hands of fate?

Do you believe you can substantially change the track of your life in any way you want to if you are stubborn enough?

Or do you believe that the script of your life is already written down somewhere within the hidden codes of the spiritual world?

PS: This fate-vs-willpower discussion excludes the ‘God(or Nature)-factor’ for crucial incidents like birth or death etc. And the poll is simply added as a refresher and is open to other views.

December 6, 2007, 10:27 AM
Somethings one can not change. Predestined - may be that is what you are talking about fate. Many things we have total control over - choosing the right or wrong. Other things one needs to try his/her best. If it happens, it happens. If not, so be it.

The things that one can not change: Example: which family one borns in to.
Things that one has the ability to control: Example: One will not eat lunch.

December 6, 2007, 11:17 AM
"Knowledge improves our willpower changing our lives in process. "

Will explain later. Dourer upre asi.

December 6, 2007, 11:48 AM
"Fate is powerful, but it goes hand in hand with the drive we are caught in."

This is what i voted for.

In this eternal debate about fate vs willpower, i think both plays an equally vital role that goes hand in hand.

Even Allah said in Holy Quran,
"I help those who help themselves".

You cant sit at home and expect to be cured of illness if you dont go consult a doctor and take medicine.

At the same time, you could see all the doctors and can have all the money in the world, but if its your time, its ur time to go.

What im trying to say, is we have to try to our utmost hoping for the best outcome.

December 6, 2007, 12:27 PM
Fate: It’s simple and complicated as well. Look carefully into the following aspects:

Allah has given us the capability to master our own destiny.

Whatever happens at the end, we will have to believe that it was in our fate.

However, we cannot make our fate totally responsible for that. It is us who will have to take the responsibility (even if it is an incident like Sidr, a car accident or an earthquake-but I am not discussing what type of responsibility we should take for that type of incident here, because this could lead to another debate, which I don’t want to stir up).

I hope the following two examples illustrate the existing relationship between fate and will power.

Example 1:

In an exam, I got 81. Whenever I get a grade, and not do well, I first assess myself-my preparation, my attendance in the class, my effort, and my strategies. Now, after being honest with me, I found that there was no mistake with my effort, my exam strategies. I got that bad score because I made some stupid mistakes. You usually do not make those mistakes, but sometimes those happen, even if you are 110% alert. Now I did the following:

That 81 was in my fate, so it happened.

Since it was a failure, I took resort to patience. But I kept working hard. That’s the main thing. God may frustrate you one time, but if you do keep faith on him, and on fate and keep work hard, he will reward you soon. In my next two exams I got 99 and 100 respectively.

Second Example: A religious one (Can ignore if you don’t like)

Even before creating humans, Allah wrote the whole fate each and every people. Even it is predetermined that who will go to heaven and who will go to hell. Now the companions once asked the exalted prophet: “Since it is predetermined whether we will enter hell or heaven, why we are praying then?” “Because you don’t know what is there in your destiny”, replied the prophet.

One World
December 6, 2007, 07:47 PM
Above all the theological and philosophical discussions, life is neither controlled by fate or self-confidence alone. You can be above confident to take a step whereas your fate might be decided when you are caught up by an extrneous energy. Socio-political and socio-economic conditions abruptly modify your beliefs and prejudices, changes the course of your life and invigorates your power of control and
compromise. We surrender to life everyday and face the irony of destiny. It is not fate as we compare our life being caught in the moment what would have happened if we took a different course of actions. In the end it is the energy surrounding the atmosphere which creates the chemistry with the personal exuberance and attemts to result in a situation that can be rated within a scale of fate to self-confidence.

December 7, 2007, 05:29 AM
Lots of writings we can find everywhere about 'how to enhance willpower'... but here's one that says something bit different about willpower itself:

The Fallacy of Willpower...
Many people despair at the prospect of improving their eating habits, because they think they just don't have enough willpower.

Not enough willpower. How else to explain destructive dietary habits even in full knowledge of the consequences? How else to explain pigging out all day after a week of disciplined eating? How else to explain snacking on donuts after having made an earnest, well-motivated pledge to give up donuts? It appears that willpower has failed, allowing a momentary compulsion to betray us.

Our society's appeal to willpower goes far beyond diet, of course. Often we seem to think that without willpower, we'd lounge around doing nothing all day, except to fulfill our nearest needs and pleasures. "What would you do tomorrow," I ask people, "if all of a sudden you lost all your willpower?" Most people imagine sleeping in, missing work, eating a big breakfast, and after that, a vague never-ending spiral of indulgence, indolence, and apathy.

Reliance on willpower reveals a profound distrust of one's self. We seem to think that what we really want to do must be bad, indulgent; therefore we must exercise willpower to enforce better behavior. Life becomes a constant regimen of "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts." But maybe this distrust is misplaced. Let's think about it more carefully: What if you really did lose your willpower tomorrow? Yes, maybe you would sleep in-but is that laziness, or a genuine need for rest? Maybe you would miss work-but couldn't that mean your work is not your soul's true work, and no longer do you force yourself to do it? You might stay in bed until ten, even until twelve, but eventually the bed would become uncomfortable. You might sit around doing nothing for a while, eating chocolate bon-bons and watching television, but eventually you'd become restless. Without work and chores to do, escapism loses its appeal. Maybe you'd feel free to catch up on neglected areas of your life. Maybe you would spend all day with your child, or a friend, or in nature. Maybe you would take up a creative project you'd never had time and energy to do. Maybe this creative project would turn into a new career, a job that you are excited to wake up to. Maybe, just maybe, life without willpower would be more creative, more abundant, more productive, and more dynamic than the life of shoulds and shouldn'ts.

The proper function of willpower and self-discipline is to extend wisdom and insight into times of imperfect clarity; to remember and apply the messages of one's inner voice. For example, if you are engaged in joyful work, when distractions come you may need to remind yourself of what you really want to be doing. Or maybe you need to remind yourself of the happiness of quiet time with family when the titillations of consumer culture beckon. In marriage, if you can remember the lightness and ease of not maintaining lies and secrets, then sexual infidelity loses its allure. And in eating, as we will see, discipline comes naturally when we integrate into present awareness the full experience of food. True discipline is really just self-remembering; no forcing or fighting is necessary.

When used in this way-to remember oneself, to come back into alignment-willpower is natural and energizing, whereas when we are fighting ourselves, it is an ordeal. Often we use "self-discipline" to tell our inner voice to shut up, preferring to trust in the rational mind and its received beliefs. This is unfortunate: What if our inner appetites and urges are telling us something important? I think of the engineering student, disciplining himself to study his equations when really he wants to play his guitar, because he "knows" music is not practical. If he has enough willpower, his musical talent will remain buried for a lifetime, but he will never be a very good engineer, or a happy one.

How much freer and happier we would feel, and how much more powerful we would be, if only we stopped struggling against the grain of our natural gifts and inclinations, stopped trying to be what we are not, and instead used willpower to stay true to an exciting and joyful life purpose.

Often we try to use willpower to improve ourselves: our diet, our bad habits, our selfishness, our temper. The fact is that any effort at self-improvement or change-including dietary change-relying mainly on willpower is destined to fail. If you resolve, "I will make myself do it," then you are fighting yourself. It means you are divided, that on some level you do not want to do it. Sooner or later, in a moment of weakness perhaps, or in a moment of self-forgetting, your true desires will express themselves as actions. The engineer's attention will wander, he will procrastinate, he will sabotage himself in a million little ways. The dieter will snack, cheat, make excuses, start again tomorrow. In a divided self, willpower is a puny thing.

Found this while random browsing... but yes, I suppose willpower has to be something strong enough to find our inner nature and uphold it as well as fight through outer constrains. Probably only then it becomes the 'true willpower' and not a 'formed one'.

Knowledge, wisdom, faith, dreams and passion.... all are co-related to our willpowers. And in retrun... willpower itself enhances all of those vital components of our mindsets.

December 8, 2007, 10:06 PM
"Weather you believe u can or u cant, U r possibly right"
the above is a famous quote

Fate is wat is beyond your control ( lets say your birth)....most of the things you do in life are not governed by fate.