View Full Version : 'And suddenly I was awakened!' (satire)

September 7, 2012, 08:35 PM
The following is a story of how one man at the end of his spiritual journey after years of going astray found Truth or God, through self-realization after watching Tamim Iqbal Khan and Mohammad Ashraful Matin's explosive batting innings on September 08,2012 at Trinidad and Tobago.Does Ashraful exist?

I always debated the question. And I have done some pretty bad things in life. Dirty Dancer--Enrique's one, legal adderall like Monster, parking by fire hydrant - you name it. Is Ashraful merely a figment of our imagination? A chimera concocted by CID in the form of a hologram? Who is he?

A bald and bearded wonder once mused: Watching Ash in form is sublime. While on YouTube, a nameless immortal left a message on his Trentbridge knock: Effortless. Ash seems to walk on water.

Now take this wunderkind out of Kronos's head, and attach the ever flamboyant Tamim Iqbal Khan to him and what you get is monster, or disaster depending on which end you are talking about.

Scylla and Charybdis. Bonnie and Clyde. Heloise and Abelard. Romeo and Juliet.

These are two of the most attacking batsman of their generation. Tamim Iqbal and Ashraful can basically tear apart any batting lineup in the world in T20 International World Cricket.

Watching Tamim-Ash bat is like akin to watching a bridge with semtex attached at both ends, gnaw their way upto the middle bridging an gap of fiery explosions. It's a visual metaphor of 'building' an innings from both ends to reach a common goal.

One can only imagine in flashbacks how Tamim Iqbal and Mohammad Ashraful must have sat down on their dressing room table with tiffin-carrier and saying: Look we got an even total of 100 to get. How about you take 50 and I take 50? And then they shook hands after flipping a coin of which fifty to take first.

While Tamim was methodical in his innings like a calculated and analytical murderer rarely acting premeditate manner, Ashraful was all over the place. Mozart used to leave false notes on purpose. Too many failed to see the intentional mistakes, dropped cathch at boundary and missed cuts and coming down the track as a taunt to opposition: Look! This is how laughable your bowlers are! I can just waltz my way to a forty.


Ashraful might as well have worn a neon sign saying 'Get me out' by the nature of how light he took the weaker opposition. At one point he wanted to reverse sweep a medium pacer(!) It's as if Kasparov's King's Indian, Samisch Variation, a farce that screams to be shirk.

Tamim on the other hand retired in his signature fashion of sashaying down the pitch and not wanting to connect the ball for a six at around late-30ish. Tamim Iqbal and Mohammad Ashraful statistically and literally can take down any opponent no matter how strong the bowling lineup. At least that's the impression I vividly got today. It was so beautiful and sublime interplay of light and sound into a visual harmonious flow. As if the Mongol brothers came down and ravaged the land of Turks and Mongols in cannibalistic fashion.

As soon Ashraful was nearing the end result and ran down to take the final two runs, it dawned on me. The Truth shone brilliantly on my face, like rays of sunlight being refracted off Ashraful's smiling rows of teeth. Is this who I am? I asked myself. I realized the vain life I was leading and how I defiled and deluded my universe and my world. I immediately fell down on my knee, bent down and cried. Unable to control my weeping, I asked the unseen for forgiveness. Oh God where art thou! Help me.
I immediately fell down on my knee, bent down and cried. Unable to control my weeping, I asked the unseen for forgiveness. Oh God where art thou! Help me.Each cell of my body was visibly magnified and amplified within them I saw the mitochondria and within it the cellular structure of atoms, electrons and strange quarks. A burst of creative jolt shot through my veins up my spine to my head and suddenly I was awakened. Clarity shone through the gossamer veneer of mankind and I found myself naked lying in front of computer. All became one and I saw how I am part of one single unity or Whole. We are all one. Everything, every shot every breath of Ashraful's glorious innings exemplifies the utmost purity of mankind which reverberates through the universe. It's like Sri Yogananda smiling through Sir Ash himself.

I rolled down on ground and cried. I cannot recall how long this catharsis must have lasted but after what seemed like eternity I came back to my normalcy. Having got a glimpse of cricket, and realizing the complaining I did incessantly whining with one person mudslinging at another out of anger accusing of stealing stream what has this world come to!

It was as if I awoke from a great slumber.

And oh - did I forget to mention all these visions unfolded after someone unplugged the stream?

September 8, 2012, 12:30 AM
apparently this thread became as popular as nasif's share toolbar ...lol

September 8, 2012, 01:13 AM
Does Ashraful exist?I thought this would have been an ode to Descartes Meditations. All you had to do was come to the conclusion that Ashraful doesn't not exist.

I didn't pay enough attention in Philosophy to remember if thats what Descartes ultimately found, but the title and 1st line had a lot of potential.