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View Full Version : Islamic pick up lines..


fab
April 24, 2004, 02:14 AM
I err understand that some youngsters on this forum need help.. :lol:

(ps: apologies if this offends anyone, but i thought it was funny!)


1. I just saw part of your hair, I believe you are now obliged to marry
me.

2. "Our parents engaged us when we were little, they must have forgotten
to tell you."

3. "I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam."

4."Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?"

5."Will you help the cause of the Ummah by helping me fulfill my deen?"

6."Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"

7."Assalamualaikum, so what time does a hurain like you have to be back
in paradise?"

8. What school of thought do you follow because I thought about you all
through school.

9. Can I have your wali's phone number?

10. So, read any good Surahs lately?

11. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm
here after.

12. Lets get married so I dont have to lower my gaze everytime you walk
in the room.

13. Can i have ur number so I can wake u up for fajr?

reverse_swing
April 24, 2004, 04:05 AM
not funny at all

Shubho
April 24, 2004, 04:30 AM
very funny indeed, actually. muslims need to lighten up. we're such a serious bunch. combine that with being bengali, and you get yourself a right old boring shite.

reverse_swing
April 24, 2004, 04:39 AM
u r funny indeed. :lol:

Shubho
April 24, 2004, 04:47 AM
why thank you very much. not sure whether that was a compliment or not, though.

James90
April 24, 2004, 05:11 AM
I didn't understand any of that

[Edited on 24-4-2004 by Habibul_fan]

sage
April 24, 2004, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by fab


10. So, read any good Surahs lately?



I didn't get this one?:-/

Orpheus
April 24, 2004, 09:12 PM
sage, have you read any good book lately?

If no, what you doing here? go read one!

By the way James, these are Muslim jokes.. so it's ok.. but you should've atleast found one or two funny :)

[Edited on 25-4-2004 by Orpheus]

fab
April 24, 2004, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by reverse_swing
not funny at all
heh, well that's hardly surprising since it has been established a number of times that you lack a sense of humour.

shubho, have you heard of Islamica? they are a pretty funny bunch link (http://www.islamicanews.com)

sage
April 24, 2004, 10:11 PM
Originally posted by Orpheus
sage, have you read any good book lately?

If no, what you doing here? go read one!

By the way James, these are Muslim jokes.. so it's ok.. but you should've atleast found one or two funny :)

[Edited on 25-4-2004 by Orpheus]

Do you want me read some for you?
:D

Orpheus
April 24, 2004, 10:15 PM
well if you find me attractive.. why not? Worth a try!

Tehsin
April 24, 2004, 10:22 PM
Fabz .. I got your back on this one. I know that the post was reported. I think it's funny. I'll check out the site.

sage
April 24, 2004, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by Orpheus
well if you find me attractive.. why not? Worth a try!

May I read for somebody else instead!?:P

Orpheus
April 25, 2004, 12:08 AM
sure.... any boy you desire! How about Shubho? I hear he is pretty! funny and pretty :)

speaking of pettiness, I mean prettiness - here is a joke you probably heard:

Soniya: Kamrul thinks I am pretty. Akbar says I am ugly. What do you think Faruk?

Faruk: I think you are pretty ugly.

[Edited on 25-4-2004 by Orpheus]

sage
April 25, 2004, 02:41 AM
I like girls! I like girls so much. Girls float my boat.

:D

[Edited on 25-4-2004 by sage]

reinausagi
April 25, 2004, 12:13 PM
Okay fab, it was a little out there but, quite funny. I would not share it with the older generations (mom, dad, aunt) because thet would be 'beyadobi'. :lol:

Zephaniah
April 25, 2004, 01:13 PM
Ah......got my life boat finally!!!!!!

Since i'm on the pull , lemmi try one.....and see what happens.......

Me say to fab "Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"

reinausagi
April 25, 2004, 01:53 PM
Me say to fab "Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"


Bettomeez:lol:

Arnab
April 25, 2004, 03:23 PM
This is my pickup "line". Hasn't failed me.

"Hi!"

Orpheus
April 25, 2004, 09:42 PM
must be really good looking huh? :)

Carte Blanche
April 25, 2004, 09:58 PM
You fancy him, Orphy? ;)

Orpheus
April 26, 2004, 03:36 AM

tglover
April 26, 2004, 04:56 AM
You guys are sad.

Those jokes were pathetic and any decent Muslim should ignore all that crap.

You want to know a pick up a wife?

1. Find a beautiful girl.
2. Go up to the girl's parents and ask for her hand in marriage.
3. Get married.

Enough.

al Furqaan
April 26, 2004, 10:31 AM
tgglover got it right.

reinausagi
April 26, 2004, 10:45 AM
1. Find a beautiful girl.
2. Go up to the girl's parents and ask for her hand in marriage.
3. Get married.


How about the girl? No one's going to ask the girl if she wants to marry this guy?

Navarene
April 26, 2004, 10:54 AM
patriarchy rules....sadly but truely

Zephaniah
April 26, 2004, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by reinausagi

1. Find a beautiful girl.
2. Go up to the girl's parents and ask for her hand in marriage.
3. Get married.


How about the girl? No one's going to ask the girl if she wants to marry this guy?

Well, this guy already chatted up the girl , innit?

Arnab
April 26, 2004, 11:47 AM
Originally posted by reinausagi

How about the girl? No one's going to ask the girl if she wants to marry this guy?

That would be my dream girl. The very fact that she asked me out means that

1. She's confident, mature and knows what she wants.

2. She has VERY good taste in men.

3. Less work for me; I don't have to convince her to like me, since she's already sold.

[Edited on 26-4-2004 by Arnab]

Ockey
April 26, 2004, 01:55 PM
patriarchy rules....sadly but truely

Navarene, I am trying to figure out whether you advocate patriarchy or you are against it.

You guys are sad.

Those jokes were pathetic and any decent Muslim should ignore all that crap.

You want to know a pick up a wife?

1. Find a beautiful girl.
2. Go up to the girl's parents and ask for her hand in marriage.
3. Get married.

Enough.


tglover, there are couple of things wrong with what you had suggested. First the method requires months of prepping and hardly qualifies as "picking up" a wife. But there is something even more flawed about the process.

How do you find a beautiful girl? Stalking in malls is haaram. Besides a pious girl would be covered from head to toe. Pictures are haraam according to some schools of thoughts and that eliminates internet dating sites. That also eliminates family members showing pictures of "beautiful girls". Men are to lower our gaze whenever we see women passing by. According to the Sharia, the only time a man can see a women without her hijab is when he visits her for the sole purpose of marriage. So if you are suggesting a truely religious (Islamic) way to "finding" a "beautiful girl", there exists none.



[Edited on 26-4-2004 by Ockey]

[Edited on 26-4-2004 by Ockey]

Navarene
April 26, 2004, 02:18 PM
Ockey, okay I thought the last three words of my statement would justify enough to decipher out whether I was for or against the patriarchy. But let's not go any further since this topic doesn't match this thread.

fab
April 26, 2004, 06:16 PM
You want to know a pick up a wife?
1. Find a beautiful girl.

glover, as previously mentioned, I believe the pickup lines may assist the prospective groom in Stage 1 of your outlined plan

Look, it's a JOKE! I doubt anyone is actually gonna use it in real life..

Tehsin
April 26, 2004, 06:24 PM
Fab .. whoa ... doubters beware, i plan use this pic up lines on me wife as soon as she comes home. Figure, I will use the home field advantage. If nothing else, I'll produce the marriage cert. and she'll be forced to go out with me, Muhahahahahha.

Marriage is great - not having to worry about pick up lines is priceless.

(Arnab - Hi used to work for me too. Keep at it)

fab
April 26, 2004, 06:43 PM
Fab .. whoa ... doubters beware, i plan use this pic up lines on me wife as soon as she comes home.
hehe tehsin, in that case I would recommend you to usepick up line number 4 (the one most women would want to hear after getting married :P )

4."Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?"

Rubu
April 26, 2004, 06:51 PM
the best pick up line i've heard (hope it won't exceed the G rating):

How do u like your egg? Omletted, poached, or fartilized?

Sham
April 26, 2004, 11:19 PM
1. Some people are seriously lacking in humour.

2. Tehsin bhai has weird f*tishes. You are married my man, you don't need pick up lines, stop with the role playing!

3. "Find a beautiful girl" - Hahahaha. Whoever said beauty is skin deep is yet to meet a couple of our members.

4. Do I detect a homosexual tension among some members on this board? San Francisco is a beautiful city guys, might want to consider a move!

5. Arnab is a studmuffin!

rafiq
April 27, 2004, 02:16 AM
These days, my humble platinum VISA would not cover any self-respecting Muslim woman's dowry. So these pick up lines should be adjusted for inflation. I'd recommend Fab's favorite line 4 to be changed to:

"Will my American Express Black card cover your dowry?"

Tehsin
April 27, 2004, 08:49 PM
Shouldn't I ask - will your dad's Visa cover my dowry/Joutuk ? I thought the girls parents pay for the guys broke ***.

Hmm, come to think of it, I never got any, no wonder I'm still broke. They thought they were doing me a favor when she moved into my little hut. I got to be worth atleast 2-4 taka. :-/

Sham - all I got is role play man ... don't you dare try to take it away from me. :mad:

fab
April 27, 2004, 10:46 PM
"Will my American Express Black card cover your dowry?" lol. I can't imagine many ladies objecting to that amendment!

tehsin, a dowry for you? (in case you've forgotten dude, most of the BD population converted from Hinduism over the past 800 years or so :) )

acker
April 29, 2004, 12:25 AM
Where's everybody's sense of adventure.
What beats
Going to a nightclub
Getting in a fight
And scoring a chick

Welcome to the jungle.