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View Full Version : acha dojjal bou er theke roksha howar upaya ki? (how to rescue from wife who beats you up?)


Zeeshan
August 19, 2016, 08:00 PM
bolun...

boroi chintai achi

aklemalp
August 19, 2016, 10:18 PM
File for a divorce. Go to the county courthouse and make sure your grievances be heard loud and clear.

OR
Run to in-laws and complain

OR
Plead with daddy why he had to Marry you off while you still was in your jawani (I hope I got that right:)):-B

iDumb
August 20, 2016, 05:21 PM
Take your revenge in the bedroom.

Zeeshan
August 20, 2016, 06:40 PM
Take your revenge in the bedroom.

I did.

My fiancy hates clean room. So I cleaned up her bedroom for her. Am I doing it right?

iDumb
August 20, 2016, 07:24 PM
Cut the internet connection. The ultimate revenge.

Sharadin facebook niya pongtami.. bashar kono kaam kaaj nai.. nai ranna, nai cleaning... sharadin old boyfriend/crush/junior high friend/high school friend/friend's brother/brother's friends - egular chobi aaar life dekha......

Tarpor egula dekhar por aisha bolbe.. umouker jamai ranna koira boure khawaiche.. tumi ki korcho...

This is the problem with this world today.. Shob ahammok jamai gula chagoler moto facebook e tader cooking post kore..... Beta tui kitchen e ki koroch? lojja shorom nai? abar facebook e shobaike dekhash chagoler moto...?

iDumb
August 20, 2016, 07:25 PM
So I cleaned up her bedroom for her.

You are one of those huh? Turning to a chagol.

iDumb
August 20, 2016, 09:23 PM
I was in a Bangladeshi supermarket. I bought 3 Gilda chingri at 19.99 per lbs .... these are Bangladeshi fresh water prawn ..bishal Boro Boro ...khubi lov lagche ... I take it to the bangalee cashier ...she weighs it and says 54.36 .. gave me a look and asked .."niben naki" ? I usually dress like a rastaar fakir on day to day basis ...

I said " eto kom daam nibo na Ken ?.."

now she gave a look like "whatever loser "

I proudly bring those golda to my house and show it to my wife excited with glee ... " dekho koto Boro golda... please cook it bangalee style " ... she was on Facebook looking at her college friends vacation pic to Maldives ..

It has been 6 f**\\* months .. those 3 Golda are still in my fridge ... I wouldn't be surprised if the price is 24.99 / lb now ...

This is what life has become .... our mothers cooked fresh prawn THAT afternoon ...

Zeeshan
August 20, 2016, 09:38 PM
I was in a Bangladeshi supermarket. I bought 3 Gilda chingri at 19.99 per lbs .... these are Bangladeshi fresh water prawn ..bishal Boro Boro ...khubi lov lagche ... I take it to the bangalee cashier ...she weighs it and says 54.36 .. gave me a look and asked .."niben naki" ? I usually dress like a rastaar fakir on day to day basis ...

I said " eto kom daam nibo na Ken ?.."

now she gave a look like "whatever loser "

I proudly bring those golda to my house and show it to my wife excited with glee ... " dekho koto Boro golda... please cook it bangalee style " ... she was on Facebook looking at her college friends vacation pic to Maldives ..

It has been 6 f**\\* months .. those 3 Golda are still in my fridge ... I wouldn't be surprised if the price is 24.99 / lb now ...

This is what life has become .... our mothers cooked fresh prawn THAT afternoon ...

thick bolecho dada thick bolecho... r oi kotha bolle khota dey: "etoi jokhon maeer bhokto tahole maer kache giye thakeli paro... amake bie korecho kano..."

sigh i miss the good ol days of joutu'k

Night_wolf
August 21, 2016, 01:06 AM
Cut the internet connection. The ultimate revenge.

Sharadin facebook niya pongtami.. bashar kono kaam kaaj nai.. nai ranna, nai cleaning... sharadin old boyfriend/crush/junior high friend/high school friend/friend's brother/brother's friends - egular chobi aaar life dekha......

Tarpor egula dekhar por aisha bolbe.. umouker jamai ranna koira boure khawaiche.. tumi ki korcho...

This is the problem with this world today.. Shob ahammok jamai gula chagoler moto facebook e tader cooking post kore..... Beta tui kitchen e ki koroch? lojja shorom nai? abar facebook e shobaike dekhash chagoler moto...?

:floor: seirokom post!

iDumb
August 21, 2016, 03:26 PM
I think cooking and cleaning if not your trade are one of the most unmanly thing a guy can do . I wouldn't let my wife carry 60 lbs luggage when we are going on a trip ..why should she allow me to cook ? Makes no sense .

Ppl will look at me if I let a girl carry the luggage while I look pretty and fix my hair ..y do ppl not give the same look when a man is in the kitchen ?

Y the double standard ... y men has to suffer??

Zeeshan
August 21, 2016, 03:55 PM
There IS an other alternative.... trolley/cart/automatic walker & dishwasher/ricecooker/instant noodles. Life doesn't have to be complicated.

Sylheti_Beta
August 23, 2016, 08:03 AM
Sharing responsibilities works for me.
I was always bad with kapor guchano,dishes and associated stuff. My wife from our courtship days was a master at that, super skilled.
I was always quicker and better with cooking.
So we split our work accordingly.

On another note, the luggage carrying bit mentioned above would meet with a solid comeback if ever used:
"Did we ask you to bear kids :lol: ?"

Sylheti_Beta
August 23, 2016, 08:09 AM
Actually my kids :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire:create most of the ruckus at home. Me and my wife have our hands full with them. We don't get the time for any other fights :hairpull:

iDumb
August 24, 2016, 06:26 PM
So we split our work accordingly.
"

that is very nice bro. But guys like you in the kitchen is messing it for us. I do not believe in guy being in the kitchen no matter how efficient you are.

you can cook in the weekend once in a while for fun. But a big no no as part of daily chores. I rather DIE OF HUNGER.

iDumb
August 24, 2016, 06:29 PM
Actually my kids :fire: :fire: :fire: :fire:create most of the ruckus at home. Me and my wife have our hands full with them. We don't get the time for any other fights :hairpull:

Ashley madison


life is short.

Sylheti_Beta
August 25, 2016, 03:01 AM
that is very nice bro. But guys like you in the kitchen is messing it for us. I do not believe in guy being in the kitchen no matter how efficient you are.
I understand, that's why I say to each his own bhai :). I do not advocate what I do as the only way.
I also don't take kindly to people(especially ladies) who love to run comparison competitions. Each person is unique and has a set of skills which they can and should utilize. If he/she does/learns something extra its for the benefit or good of that person, if not nobody else ends up poorer.

That said though, our culture of cheleder babugiri or jomidari is still prevalent in many Bengali male mindsets. So much so, that a few of my friends do absolutely nothing at home other than just barking out commands. Sometimes small tasks like picking up the remote from in front of the TV is an occasion to call out to the wife or a kid and have them do it :lol:; to give you an example.

Sylheti_Beta
August 25, 2016, 03:03 AM
life is short.
And best spent among family :big_hug: and friends :big_hug:
I would not give away an inch of the time I spend with my kids and my wife. It's irreplaceable and priceless. In fact the naughtiness of my kids is what keeps me sane in the modern day rat race.

Night_wolf
August 25, 2016, 03:27 AM
maybe if someday I have kids I'll know about whats all the fuchka of having kids

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 07:27 AM
maybe if someday I have kids I'll know about whats all the fuchka of having kids

lol there arent any. Dont fall for this. ppl don't want to say it but work to reward ratio is very high (lot of work, very low reward).

it made sense back in the days as an insurance policy/retirement plan. But these days kids have all entitlement mentality.. they want to take rather than give when parents are older.

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 07:43 AM
That said though, our culture of cheleder babugiri or jomidari is still prevalent in many Bengali male mindsets. So much so, that a few of my friends do absolutely nothing at home other than just barking out commands. Sometimes small tasks like picking up the remote from in front of the TV is an occasion to call out to the wife or a kid and have them do it :lol:; to give you an example.

you missing out bro. Your friends are doing it RIGHT. I don't believe in equal share of tasks.. Marriage is for girls security, I as a guy don't need it and giving it as a form of sacrifice, so why should I not be rewarded for it. This is the way it should be. We shouldn't have to do ANYTHING at home but watch tv and browse the internet and be SERVED.

All of you guys got brainwashed and b******* into not having a luxury life that you deserve.

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 07:51 AM
I was always bad with kapor guchano,dishes and associated stuff."

BRAINWASHED! None of these are your job.

Be single, you have less clothes, less dishes... Solution: Drop off laundry, Paper plates, No nagging.

Wives are USELESS and a BURDEN if they don't want to serve you.

Sylheti_Beta
August 25, 2016, 08:34 AM
BRAINWASHED! None of these are your job.

Be single, you have less clothes, less dishes... Solution: Drop off laundry, Paper plates, No nagging.

Wives are USELESS and a BURDEN if they don't want to serve you.
:lol: lot of pain and (still lingering) teen angst in that(tongue firmly on cheek):lol:.

Like I said before mate, I live my own life and love every bit of it.
I don't want others to follow me. I wouldn't want to live your version of my life, no thank you. :wave:

Sylheti_Beta
August 25, 2016, 08:38 AM
This is the way it should be. We shouldn't have to do ANYTHING at home but watch tv and browse the internet and be SERVED.
And that's not entitlement but a kid wanting stuff from his/her parents is entitled, go figure. :D

Anyway, thankfully TV is not all of my life. I fish, shoot, ride with my older kids. Play kiddie games along with the younger ones. I like it, I will do it. You may not and thats your prerogative. There's no right or wrong here, we are just different and that's the way it will be. Cheers. :up:

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 08:52 AM
Anyway, thankfully TV is not all of my life. I fish, shoot, ride with my older kids. Play kiddie games along with the younger ones. I like it, I will do it.
Don't forget to mention you also cook.


You may not and thats your prerogative. There's no right or wrong here, we are just different and that's the way it will be.

Ofcourse. That is never and will be the discussion.

But if you never experienced luxury of being served, how do you know what you are missing? It's like a rastar fakir saying, I am happier than Zuckerberg. You know those polls that came out of some university that BD ppl are the happiest. LOL. Yeah they are happy cuz they don't know what they are missing.

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 09:02 AM
And that's not entitlement but a kid wanting stuff from his/her parents is entitled, go figure. :D
:

Children when they are grown up in their 30s to 40s these days still take from parents specially in some of the developed countries. I am not talking about 2 year old. I personally think every kid after the age of 25 has the responsibility to spoil their parents like the parents have spoiled them when they were child.

Wanting to be served in marriage is not entitlement because you are providing the security of marriage to someone. I don't need that security. If you want to be married, you serve. If you don't - more power to you.

Zeeshan
August 25, 2016, 09:17 AM
Yeah they are happy cuz they don't know what they are missing.

That was funny.

I think I have moved a lot from my past attitude of money is evil to money is a hottie in red dress of a devil in halloween.

mufi_02
August 25, 2016, 09:21 AM
BRAINWASHED! None of these are your job.

Be single, you have less clothes, less dishes... Solution: Drop off laundry, Paper plates, No nagging.

Wives are USELESS and a BURDEN if they don't want to serve you.

I am somewhat living that life. Don't do any laundry and drop off my clothes at dry cleaners. Eat out most of the day and cook only on weekends (that too is bhaat and daal). Gotta say life is very simple!! I come home whenver I want and do whatever I want. Who wants to be married and have kids..

but after a while it gets boring

Zeeshan
August 25, 2016, 09:28 AM
I find it odd that my wife's phone dies at odd times during the day when I call her even though she charges it full every night.

Weird na?

iDumb
August 25, 2016, 09:34 AM
I am somewhat living that life. g

I am jealous . Btw I think you are getting bored because you are not bringing enough sylheti girls home ... stop hating on them .... they are the best

Best part of being single is your demand ... use it to your advantage ...

If u think u are bored now ... boy u have surprise coming ..u will be miserable

roman
August 25, 2016, 09:48 AM
I am currently living a bachelor life for the past 8 months and loving every minute of it :D No more cooking, no more helping her to clean the house, can put my clothes wherever I want without worrying about her screaming, come home whenever I feel like coming..O bachelor life.. How dearly I missed thee

Marriage is boring and full of drama if you end up with the wrong kind. But it can be beautiful and fun if you are lucky enough to marry the right person (for the first few years of course. :-|

But I do miss my kids. And to be honest, I dont think I will ever expect them to take care of me when I get older. My love for them will always be absolute.

Night_wolf
August 25, 2016, 10:10 AM
I am currently living a bachelor life for the past 8 months and loving every minute of it :D No more cooking, no more helping her to clean the house, can put my clothes wherever I want without worrying about her screaming, come home whenever I feel like coming..O bachelor life.. How dearly I missed thee

Marriage is boring and full of drama if you end up with the wrong kind. But it can be beautiful and fun if you are lucky enough to marry the right person (for the first few years of course. :-|

But I do miss my kids. And to be honest, I dont think I will ever expect them to take care of me when I get older. My love for them will always be absolute.

this is what my dad tells me all the time and I dont understand it, he also says when I become a dad I'll understand so I guess i'll have to wait and see when that day comes. ATM even if I want to think about it I dont get that feelings of absolute unconditional love

roman
August 25, 2016, 10:23 AM
this is what my dad tells me all the time and I dont understand it, he also says when I become a dad I'll understand so I guess i'll have to wait and see when that day comes. ATM even if I want to think about it I dont get that feelings of absolute unconditional love

You will understand when you will hold your child in your arms for the first time. Ekhon ei shob chinta na koira life enjoy koro :)

mufi_02
August 25, 2016, 11:32 AM
Zeeshan did you get married?? Wait what?????

mufi_02
August 25, 2016, 11:38 AM
I am jealous . Btw I think you are getting bored because you are not bringing enough sylheti girls home ... stop hating on them .... they are the best

Best part of being single is your demand ... use it to your advantage ...

If u think u are bored now ... boy u have surprise coming ..u will be miserable

Lol Sylethi girls are the easiest. Thak ar kichu nai ba bollam.

kintu amar toh jochna raate atlantik mohashagorer pare sleeveless neel shari pora karo shathe ghurte iccha kore. Majhe majhe. Beside that non married life is awesome

Zeeshan
August 25, 2016, 12:13 PM
My local pizza delivery guy is so weird lol. Every time he leaves, he goes through the backdoor and then when I see him after twenty minutes he wears a lip stick. Weirdo! Lol.

Sylheti_Beta
August 29, 2016, 08:35 AM
Veered way OT. Apologies to Zeeshan(OP)

You may not and thats your prerogative. There's no right or wrong here, we are just different and that's the way it will be.
Ofcourse. That is never and will be the discussion.
Stating that it will never be the discussion and yet that's what you continue to harp on. How it's wrong and how similar thinking folks are brainwashed BRAINWASHED! None of these are your job.

For the record, I used to cook and clean since when I was single, from my college days.
This is before I even started seeing my better half who is now my wife. I used to cook because of two reasons, my personal concerns about the halal status of the food being served and also since I used to work-out(and still do) I prefer to eat specific food.
Now, I just cook :D. Reduction in responsibilities. Oh and she has learnt to cook already, (from me) sans any pressure from me. E-)

Wives are USELESS and a BURDEN if they don't want to serve you. A lady is another human being who equal to you in more ways than one, it seems what you seek is just a slave who serves.


Wanting to be served in marriage is not entitlement because you are providing the security of marriage to someone.
Wanting to be served eh ?!? :lol: This belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment is entitlement. Just pretending that it's not wont change a thing.:floor:
Another thing, in today's day and age how many ladies needs this so-called security? Do you claim it for all ladies ? Perhaps there's a Nielsen poll I missed which underscores this claim.:doh:

As far as kids are concerned, its how you bring them up. I have 4 kids and my eldest son will hit college soon and he too will have to work his way through it. I might be financially better placed than my father was, but my son knows he's on his own from here on.
To say that 30-40 year old's still leech money from their parents may be true for those who don't inculcate values in their kids. Bengali migrants are amongst the most hard working folks, we were taught to be thrifty, value education, respect elders since childhood. Some still carry forward that mantle some dont. To paint all in the same (leech) vein just to prove a point is disrespectful to the whole community and also far from the truth.

Sylheti_Beta
August 29, 2016, 08:48 AM
bolun...

boroi chintai achi
Back to the topic, Zee bhaijaan.

১. এক খান কাম করতে পারোইন।
Install CCTV at home and :D record the goings on. Report to authorities with the evidence if polite requests to stop torture/violence don't work.

২. নাইলে ।
Buy some NFL protective pads and a helmet.

৩. শেষপর্যন্ত আরেকটা রাস্তা আসে, যদি ডেঞ্জার আরও বেশি হয় ।
Medieval plated armour :up:

১+((২)or(৩)) may be the best bet.

aklemalp
August 29, 2016, 08:51 AM
How to rescue yourself from a wife that beats you:

End celibacy.

Problem solved.

Sylheti_Beta
August 29, 2016, 08:58 AM
End celibacy.
ক্লিয়ার করো ভাই, :-/ ব্যাপার তা একটু বিস্তারে কউ।

aklemalp
August 29, 2016, 09:09 AM
ক্লিয়ার করো ভাই, :-/ ব্যাপার তা একটু বিস্তারে কউ।

I don't understand a single word..:-/

Sylheti_Beta
August 29, 2016, 09:12 AM
I don't understand a single word..:-/
Sorry bhai, I didn't know you don't understand Bangla, my bad.:(

I meant to ask you to elaborate on how eliminating celibacy will resolve the issue we are discussing.

aklemalp
August 29, 2016, 09:14 AM
Sorry bhai, I didn't know you don't understand Bangla, my bad.:(

I meant to ask you to elaborate on how eliminating celibacy will resolve the issue we are discussing.

Sarcasm on my part brother....if I elaborated...I would be banned...

So I assumed this is implied :)

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 10:49 AM
Veered way OT. Apologies to Zeeshan(OP)
We are very much on topic for Zeeshan's thread.



Stating that it will never be the discussion and yet that's what you continue to harp on. How it's wrong and how similar thinking folks are brainwashed

The discussion is about a better way of living, a perspective. It's not about YOU or ME. It is almost like a discussion on religion. I can say religious people are brainwashed but that doesn't mean I disrespect your way of living (I will NEVER do that). Hope that's clear. So if you like your wife chained while she cleans - good on you - I don't care but I will share there maybe a better way.

For the record, I used to cook and clean since when I was single, from my college days.

THis is where I was getting at, you never experienced where someone else took care of you. Why do you feel your friends who tell their wife/kids to get the remote is wrong? There is an immense pleasure in getting spoiled. If they found a girl willing to do that, they are the WINNER in my book... those who question them probably wish they had that.

A lady is another human being who equal to you in more ways than one, it seems what you seek is just a slave who serves.
I like being served. I am not forcing anyone to do that. I prefer my girl to not be only educated, smart, conquer the world but also be obedient, respectful and serve her husband.


This belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment is entitlement.
it is entitlement only when you do not provide anything in return. The case with many children. So expecting to get a salary for my job is entitlement?

Another thing, in today's day and age how many ladies needs this so-called security? Do you claim it for all ladies ? P

There are plenty of girls who need the security of marriage. THey want to be married. Like i said those who dont' - good for them. Or those who found someone who COOKS for them - haha - lucky them - they found a sucker.
For some girl, I feel like being married to me is a priviledge (lol) and that's why they should do whatever I want to keep me happy.

All you min minna men try to be happy and put your wife in the kitchen and be SERVED. If they are unwilling to do it, find one who will.

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 11:06 AM
As far as kids are concerned,

I agree with you about kids. They need to learn to be self sufficient from early age. I can't stand the ones who still feed on their parents at age greater than 25. That is the definition of a LOSER in my book.

I know one Bengali kid age 26 now - whose both parents work odd jobs but the kid stays home ALL day, doesn't go to school, doesn't work nothing. It just burns me to see this. Parents are working their *** off and you are leeching in the house where it should be your duty to provide for them now....

He is an able kid - go WORK.. ANYTHING... I am sure his parent would appreciate even a little jesture that he tried to to something for them.

Zeeshan
August 29, 2016, 11:27 AM
I know one Bengali kid age 26 now - whose both parents work odd jobs but the kid stays home ALL day, doesn't go to school, doesn't work nothing. It just burns me to see this. Parents are working their *** off and you are leeching in the house where it should be your duty to provide for them now....

He is an able kid - go WORK.. ANYTHING... I am sure his parent would appreciate even a little jesture that he tried to to something for them.

That'd be me lol.

Tell, WHY does one have to work? Why does one have to show "a little jesture[sic]" to his or her parents? Why should it be his DUTY to do so?

Don't just rattle and parrot out what you have been fed after as a baby... I want to hear what YOU have to say, not what you have been conditioned by society, parents, religion, culture and so on.

Let's see how much of a non-conformist you truly are. Go.

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 12:04 PM
That'd be me lol.

.

I dont know you. I wasn't talking bout you for sure.

I don't believe in free ride. It is part of my moral compass, I wish I had better argument but I don't. I don't think it is fair when two elderly person to work odd jobs while an able person sits home and do nothing and use their apartment and food. I wouldn't feel as strongly about this let's say if the parents were well off I suppose. Then the kid is just living a privileged life.

It is also an ego thing for me and hence I wouldn't take money from my parent, ever. They did their fare share when I completed my education.

I personally offer my mother a minimum wage salary every month (thankfully I am in a position to do that) but she refuses every time. I have a close friend who does the same thing even though his father makes plenty. My friend's father also refuses.

We are always feeling like we are not doing anything for them in return for what they have done for us to get us where we are.

roman
August 29, 2016, 01:20 PM
I personally offer my mother a minimum wage salary every month (thankfully I am in a position to do that) but she refuses every time.


MashaAllah. A noble act indeed.

It may not be that serene if the better half is not compassionate and accommodating. I know a lady who complains about her husband sending money back home. Unfortunte

cricman
August 29, 2016, 01:55 PM
I did.

My fiancy hates clean room. So I cleaned up her bedroom for her. Am I doing it right?

Gopal got married?

I don't see you on fb no more

Zeeshan
August 29, 2016, 02:00 PM
I dont know you. I wasn't talking bout you for sure.

I don't believe in free ride. It is part of my moral compass, I wish I had better argument but I don't. I don't think it is fair when two elderly person to work odd jobs while an able person sits home and do nothing and use their apartment and food. I wouldn't feel as strongly about this let's say if the parents were well off I suppose. Then the kid is just living a privileged life.

It is also an ego thing for me and hence I wouldn't take money from my parent, ever. They did their fare share when I completed my education.

I personally offer my mother a minimum wage salary every month (thankfully I am in a position to do that) but she refuses every time. I have a close friend who does the same thing even though his father makes plenty. My friend's father also refuses.

We are always feeling like we are not doing anything for them in return for what they have done for us to get us where we are.

Thanks for replying. Jau tumar shahoshikotar jonno, tumar valor er jonno, that is courage to reply me... ekta like diye dilam.

When I wrote that post, I didn't even have my morning Red Bull and I was about to rip you to pieces. :P

But here's the rub iDumb, I understand your belief system, but do realize you may have contempt for the all the people who earns a free lunch doing nothing - who knows if that makes them happy- but so do the people have contempt for people who are chasing after money, doing all the hard work, workaholoic slaving away 24/7 when according to the renunciates this very life may well be an illusion. It's like their theory is if this is heaven on earth, then why should do they work? You must be an utter idiot to do so.

So it works both ways. The contempt can be mutual.

But what I was honestly expecting was a response: Well they did so much for you, couldn't you show a little bit courtesy?

That'd be a hit-me-sign waiting to happen.

I mean so by that reasoning, if one must merely reciprocate, then if they hit you, should you hit them back?

Or so suppose, they did absolutely nothing, would you ignore them? Where's the unconditional love in that?

If I had means, I would NOT take care of my parents because they did something for me, rather INSPITE OF they did something for me.

THAT is the unconditional love in my book.

Problem with argument is that we have all been fed with these Aristotlean logic of syllogism for like two thousand years or so and we follow that blueprint without questioning it. A sun doesn't rise because it follows Aristotlean logic and must..must..must rise exactly at six o'clock. Sun rises on its own accord.

Similarly, in arguments we follow logic. And that's precisely a pitfall. Why should we follow logic? What IS logic? Logic says if a is kind to be, b must accordingly reciprocate it.

Intuition, kindness, compassion, human heart, soul doesn't otoh (it means on the other hand :wave:) doesn't follow some stupid logic.

That is why you have forgiveness, reconciliation and what not.

A sage doesn't argue. Says Lao Tzu. My teacher also once said, which I don't think I'd ever be able to follow, that Buddha said: "If some one comes to you with a saw, not the electric saw, but rather a slow cutting chain saw, and starts sawing your limbs, you should even bless them."

That's far out.

Zeeshan
August 29, 2016, 02:01 PM
Gopal got married?

I don't see you on fb no more

ami toh monk, monk der naki shunlam fesbok thake na

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 02:27 PM
If I had means, I would NOT take care of my parents because they did something for me, rather INSPITE OF they did something for me.

THAT is the unconditional love in my book.



Listen if you grew up healthy and still have a roof over your head they did something for you . I have my reasons for having great respect for my mother. She is one of the most amazing woman I have seen in my life ... I am not saying it because she is my mother . My wife likes my mother more than she like her own mother . Her friends don't even get it cuz all of them have issues with their shashuri ...

So far the quality women that I have seen are of bangali/indian in older generation ..that's why I always say they don't make women like that anymore .

They understand our culture and yet very progressive at the same time. They are not lost or confused. They have a mindset that is more sacrificial for overall good than of selfish that u see a lot these days ...

I respect these type of ppl a lot . That's my thing .

Now if my mother was a bimbo like some I probably wouldn't feel this way ... am not into those unconditional love ... lot of dead beat parents out there these days

Zeeshan
August 29, 2016, 03:40 PM
iDumb,

I don't think sacrifice is a virtue. Sacrifice/selfishness is just opposite sides of the same coin.

Many people who sacrifice the most will continue for the rest of their lives: I sacrificed so much...so much...so much for you and what did I get in return?

Excuse me? What good is a sacrifice if kotha shunate hoy everytime. Usually, sacrifice leads to frustration, which leads to irritation that leads to anger and then depression.

Sacrifice is one of the most negative quality one can have. It is like you give a gift and say: Shuno onek daam diye kena kintu.

Americans are good at this. That's why they always caution: Put your gas mask on first and help your children next.

In that way both can be happy. Amader deshe ulta. One thinks one can walk on water and save a drowning person, only to both drown.

Sacrifice is never a virtue by any means.

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 03:59 PM
Many people who sacrifice the most will continue for the rest of their lives: I sacrificed so much...so much...so much for you and what did I get in return?



you haven't met enough people. The type of ppl I am talking about do not consider those as sacrafice but gladly do them. WIll never in million years say I did this for you. It is hard for me to explain such characteristics to you if you haven't met ppl like that. It is a multipdimentional characterisitic. They bring the best in you.

anyways these are my opinion and I don't want to discuss further. And I believe girls these days are LACKING A LOT. Amount of nagging they do is unbelievable. What kind of a wife is that who allow their husband in the kitchen to cook?? Chi !! So disrespectful.

iDumb
August 29, 2016, 04:33 PM
I will share one incident . One month my mother took the money ... later my wife found out she gave all that money to some poor family in Chittagong . One day I asked her why she did that not that it's my businesss. She replied " eita gorib manusher pawa/haq" perhaps indicating I am not donating to charity . I was embarrassed enough to look up good charities to give ..

Always makes you wanna be better . That's how I feel

Zeeshan
August 29, 2016, 08:56 PM
I will share one incident . One month my mother took the money ... later my wife found out she gave all that money to some poor family in Chittagong . One day I asked her why she did that not that it's my businesss. She replied " eita gorib manusher pawa/haq" perhaps indicating I am not donating to charity . I was embarrassed enough to look up good charities to give ..

Always makes you wanna be better . That's how I feel

How do you reply to this then?

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kffacxfA7G4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Sylheti_Beta
August 30, 2016, 03:28 AM
Non sequitur assumptions, assertions, projections and pretensions notwithstanding; life goes on. :D

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D4nQB3V10i8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Sylheti_Beta
August 30, 2016, 04:59 AM
you haven't met enough people.
Argument from ignorance

Do you know Zee personally?
Have you somehow managed to count all the people he has met and interacted with till date?
What is this hallowed benchmark of enough?
Seemingly you look to have attained that sanctimonious benchmark considering the judgement call you take regarding his social exposure… haven't met enough people:facepalm:.

lot of dead beat parents out there these days
Sweeping generalization, hopefully justified by the aforementioned benchmark !!!
than of selfish that u see a lot these days
Sweeping generalization, hopefully justified by the aforementioned benchmark !!!
There are plenty of girls who need the security of marriage.
Sweeping generalization. What is this plenty supposed to mean, plenty in relation to what ? What's the benchmark ?
This argument which is being bandied about liberally assumes that a woman is a housekeeper and a man does her and the family a favor by holding a job and bringing home a paycheck. What about a working woman who earns as much if not more than the man of the house. There are no favors being extended. This view is arcane and escapist. May apply to some but not to all.


The discussion is about a better way of living, a perspective. It's not about YOU or ME.
It looks to be about self-righteousness, hence the emphasis on the word better. ;)
THis is where I was getting at, you never experienced where someone else took care of you. .
Another argument from ignorance, do you know of my life prior to my college days spent in BD? And yet you choose to make fantastic assumptions. Pretty much sums up the exchanges so far.

Sylheti_Beta
August 30, 2016, 06:07 AM
iDumb,

I don't think sacrifice is a virtue. Sacrifice/selfishness is just opposite sides of the same coin.

Many people who sacrifice the most will continue for the rest of their lives: I sacrificed so much...so much...so much for you and what did I get in return?

Excuse me? What good is a sacrifice if kotha shunate hoy everytime. Usually, sacrifice leads to frustration, which leads to irritation that leads to anger and then depression.

Sacrifice is one of the most negative quality one can have. It is like you give a gift and say: Shuno onek daam diye kena kintu.

Americans are good at this. That's why they always caution: Put your gas mask on first and help your children next.

In that way both can be happy. Amader deshe ulta. One thinks one can walk on water and save a drowning person, only to both drown.

Sacrifice is never a virtue by any means.
:applause: Realistic view, exposes all the fallacious pedantry peddled as virtue.:notworthy:

iDumb
August 30, 2016, 10:12 AM
sylheti beta you are an idiot . All I read is "generalization generalization generalization "..it's like a machine that's program to respond only this way ...

So there aren't dead beat parents or girls who need marriage ? Or ppl with amazing characteristics ?

You sound like someone who just got a college degree 2 days ago and trying to be all pedantic... without seeing the flaws and contradictions in your own text (it's not even argument)

You have a kid going to college and u habvnt been served since ur college days ..I don't need to know how ur life has been before ..u told me enough ... now go cook for your family instead of wasting time here ...

iDumb
August 30, 2016, 10:22 AM
What is this plenty supposed to mean, plenty in relation to what ? What's the benchmark ?
This argument which is being bandied about liberally assumes that a woman is a housekeeper and a man does her and the family a favor by holding a job and bringing home a paycheck. What about a working woman who earns as much if not more than the man of the house. There are no favors being extended. This view is arcane and escapist. May apply to some but not to all.



No this argument doesn't assume any of those things you made up. All those assumptions are in your head. Nowhere were any of these mentioned . The only thing that was mentioned were women should do the cooking as part of marriage and if they don't want to they can seek out for some moron who will cook for them or stay unmarried . They have the freedom to choose that.

Nowhere money/earnings were mentioned in this discussion . They should be respected and show respect in return ....be educated and should be able to conquer the world if their heart desires. BUT AS A WIFE a Bengali wife they should fulfill certain cultural roles also.....

And I personally respect women who cooks and spoil their husband. I think any Bengali wife who expects their husband to cook is uncultured .

Even if a woman earn a zillion dollars, it doesn't matter... As a Bangali wife, our culture suggest you do not expect your husband to cook for you. I know of a Bangali wife who is a surgeon (surgeon are bad *** girls), who has ppl hired to do everything in the house, cleaning, cutting etc etc but she refuses to let anyone cook the food but does it herself for her husband. That is one cultured woman who is respected not only at work but also at home and everywhere she goes.

You can be big shot surgeon and as the title suggest end up beating your husband - that is not so respectable is it?

Zeeshan
August 30, 2016, 10:32 AM
Relax guys! Remember the magic words: Baby baby baby..........will you be miiiiiiiiiiine

Rifat
August 30, 2016, 10:59 AM
Some People enjoy a life of service to others and others prefer being served. I prefer a healthy mix of both. Marriage is give and take, both sides must be willing to make sacrifices and must both be served and ready to serve.

Sylheti_Beta
August 31, 2016, 07:48 AM
Some People enjoy a life of service to others and others prefer being served. I prefer a healthy mix of both. Marriage is give and take, both sides must be willing to make sacrifices and must both be served and ready to serve.
+1 :applause:

Sylheti_Beta
August 31, 2016, 08:12 AM
sylheti beta you are an idiot .
Must be gospel truth that; since you said it. :notworthy:

You used generalizations and assumptions ad nauseam in your comments which were simply pointed out. The response was to the post(s) refraining from directly attacking the poster, can't say the same for you. Relax and try not to get all foamy at the mouth.



What is this plenty supposed to mean, plenty in relation to what ? What's the benchmark ?
No this argument doesn't assume any of those things you made up. All those assumptions are in your head. Nowhere were any of these mentioned . The only thing that was mentioned were women should do the cooking as part of marriage and if they don't want to they can seek out for some moron who will cook for them or stay unmarried . They have the freedom to choose that.
Obfuscating and sidestepping now, are we ?
When this plenty can't be explained or justified, seems the best recourse that can be taken. Run and hide, eh? Fine by me.

Not just me, Zee also had a differing point of view. You proceeded to counter his argument with a faulty premise targeting his social exposure. you haven't met enough people. :lol:
And this is just a few of the many.

From the short exchange that took place, it seems anyone who doesn't agree with the ideal Bangali bou guidelines is moronic or idiotic. Point taken.

:up:
My last on this thread regardless of the staid, repetitive and juvenile angst ridden responses that may follow.

iDumb
August 31, 2016, 09:42 AM
You used generalizations and assumptions ad nauseam in your comments which were simply pointed out.


Brother. you did not point out anything. You simply quoted me and made robotic comments like generalization. Generalization about what and who? how is stating that there are bad parents a generalization? There are fathers who has warrants against them for not paying child support - look up the database - it's public. In fact, in FBI's wanted list, the father with the MOST outstanding child support in the history is BINGO - a Bangladeshi. There are children who run away from home because they face torture at home. Bad parents were bought up because not every parent deserve respect. Not every mother deserve the unconditional love INSPITE of anything just because they are your mother.


The response was to the post(s) refraining from directly attacking the poster, can't say the same for you.
Right! My posts come from ignorance. You highlighted it. Should I quote it? You can say it was against the post but who wrote the post? Your college degree is paying off brother. My response is the way it is because that's how you choose to write yours. I will attack like a street kid if i am attacked like that :p


When this plenty can't be explained or justified, seems the best recourse that can be taken. Run and hide, eh? Fine by me. Not just me, Zee also had a differing point of view. You proceeded to counter his argument with a faulty premise targeting his social exposure. :lol:

You didn't offer any different view point. All you offered was your life story. There is nothing unique about your life story. This is slowly becoming rather the norm these days. Husbands are taking over what previously was wive's roles. (Generalizations again?)... There are news articles out there that point out to this phenomenon... please look it up

Let zeeshan reply, he is well capable of doing that. What he wrote actually can be said generalization but you failed to see it. He said ppl that are sacrificial always say things like "i did this for you that for you" in reply. Instead of saying it is a "generalization" because I lack fancy college degree, I said you haven't met enough ppl. But you are stuck on that - pedantic and semantics without understanding the real message. I don't need to know his private life or who he encounter on day to day basis. If he says he never met anyone that is "sacrificial" (this is a vague term) who doesn't always say "i did this for you or I did that for you" and since i can think of 4 people from top of my head who does not fall into it - I think i can say he hasn't met enough ppl yet to encounter one like that. It is simply another way of saying he was generalizing. But you fail to see that even though you are an expert of "generalization" - which you see everywhere.

From the short exchange that took place, it seems anyone who doesn't agree with the ideal Bangali bou guidelines is moronic or idiotic. Point taken.

Very good. You can re read my posts again. I kept writing.. "i think" "according to me" "all my opinion". I never claimed these to be absolute. It seems like it takes quiet a few posts and elaboration before you can grasp something. Yes I was simply giving my perspective on what I think a cultured bangali bou is but before this you started concocting all sorts of things in your head.... about Support/earnings, ARchaic, women's rights, this that....Yes our culture is archaic good to know.

You are so deeply buried into your own routine that you failed to see mine - the same that you accused me of.




My last on this thread regardless of the staid, repetitive and juvenile angst ridden responses that may follow.

I understand, I guess you need the time to cook.


And finally i will explain this Plenty to you.. you keep on harping about non essential things, words - you are fixed on these things... like a robot...and in the process losing the sight of overall message or you are purposefully doing that.. who knows.. college degrees are powerful.. they teach you crazy ninja ****..

When I wrote there are plenty of women... what I was referring to is if my wife decides to leave me because she can not live up to my standard of Bangali wife, I believe I will be able to find another one who can. I don't need to settle for a dojjal one who is gonna nag me to work in the kitchen.

Do you also need the definition of "is" by the way?

Zeeshan
August 31, 2016, 03:46 PM
iDumb with due utmost respect: have you given "the art of celibacy" a try? How about "Climbing the "Mt. Everest" of transmutation (http://www.wholejoy.com/scienceofwholenessparttwo/id11.html)"? What's your view on the maxim: "IF CHASTITY WERE NOT SO DIFFICULT, EVERYONE WOULD BE CHASTE?"

I hope we don't have any kids in this forum now. It has been years since bygone era of Dhrubo, Austin and MHRAM who have all grown up now. I hope I am safe now.

bujhee kom
September 3, 2016, 09:37 AM
Dojjal bou? "I love you" "I kish you" bolu, sob kich bhalu hoye jabey.

Accha bhaiyas, you are talking about children. You guys are so lucky and brag about having house full of beautiful loud children, bhaiyas and apus. I want share my sorrow with you.

My wife and I do not have any children. You are getting very old now. Just the other day we went to visit a graveyard for choosing future urns etc. Anyways, we tried for many many years to concieve and failed. I don't know if we are doing anything wrong, anyways that's a different discussion. Allah is not blessing us with any children. We accepted the fact that we will die without any. So we are living our sad lives with a bunch of cats and mostly spending our lonely lives together cleaning the cats litterboxes/kaka etc. Anyways that's adiffernt discussion, we tried everything, including the Pani-pora from the Huzur Peer Sahib of Dewan Bagh, although later we found out ie sala ek purey bhondo hai! Plus, during Pani-pora sala hamar wife-er dikey jani kemney kemney takalow + muchki muchki hasi dilo - jinista hamar kachey kintoo bhais besi subidhar money holo naa, anyways that's a different discussion.

We went to Cryogenics, invitro, Switzerland, greenlad, every land + Tabiz-Tumar Jiin-er advice you name it. Many years we said it must be my wife who cannot have children, attio-sojon-key bujh diechi, chapa merechi, Hamar ammaji nati-natkor naa pawar dukkehy even three ago marao gelen heart broken,. Ajkey hamar abba amakey dekhlei gali-galaj koren, Inpotent boley daaken. Bari geley manuser samney mookh bhi dekhatey pari naa. Hamar abba-key hamar boro biral unar koley tuley dilaam, my father is very sick, uni aro chetey gelen, hamakey beijjoti korlen unar nurse-der samney, amar adorer biral-key uni churey feley dilen, bollen for the rest of my pathetic life, I will live in the jungle like a Jongli with wild animals. Janen bhais apnara, Doctor saab said, problem is not with my wife, problem is with me. My some kind of count is very low. Allah hamakey Obhisaap diechen, ki Paap korechilaam bhais and apus, hami jani naa. Ajkey hamar manuser baccha dekhley hingsa hoi, churi kortey iccha hoi. Kintoo korbo naa, do not be afraid of me and my wife, please bhais and apus.

Gopal, Zeeshan, i-dump-er wives naki khub Dajjal, hamar wife kintoo khub bhalo manus. She loves me very much and I love her everyday of my life. But hamra morey geley hamader ei Taka-poisha Dhon Dawlot kakey dieye jabo, hami bebey kuno kul kinara pai naa.

Jai hoke, amar jiboner ei dukkher kotha-ta boley amar chowra bookta ektu halka holo. Hami dua kori apnader Allah bless you more and more and give tens of beautiful children like Tigers-eye bhai.

auntu
September 4, 2016, 12:44 AM
Javed Bhai after such a long time reading your super witty writing!

iDumb
September 4, 2016, 07:43 AM
The real question bk bhai is - does she cook?

If not, she aint a wife.. she is a room mate.

Jadukor
September 4, 2016, 09:52 AM
Dojjal bou? "I love you" "I kish you" bolu, sob kich bhalu hoye jabey.

Accha bhaiyas, you are talking about children. You guys are so lucky and brag about having house full of beautiful loud children, bhaiyas and apus. I want share my sorrow with you.

My wife and I do not have any children. You are getting very old now. Just the other day we went to visit a graveyard for choosing future urns etc. Anyways, we tried for many many years to concieve and failed. I don't know if we are doing anything wrong, anyways that's a different discussion. Allah is not blessing us with any children. We accepted the fact that we will die without any. So we are living our sad lives with a bunch of cats and mostly spending our lonely lives together cleaning the cats litterboxes/kaka etc. Anyways that's adiffernt discussion, we tried everything, including the Pani-pora from the Huzur Peer Sahib of Dewan Bagh, although later we found out ie sala ek purey bhondo hai! Plus, during Pani-pora sala hamar wife-er dikey jani kemney kemney takalow + muchki muchki hasi dilo - jinista hamar kachey kintoo bhais besi subidhar money holo naa, anyways that's a different discussion.

We went to Cryogenics, invitro, Switzerland, greenlad, every land + Tabiz-Tumar Jiin-er advice you name it. Many years we said it must be my wife who cannot have children, attio-sojon-key bujh diechi, chapa merechi, Hamar ammaji nati-natkor naa pawar dukkehy even three ago marao gelen heart broken,. Ajkey hamar abba amakey dekhlei gali-galaj koren, Inpotent boley daaken. Bari geley manuser samney mookh bhi dekhatey pari naa. Hamar abba-key hamar boro biral unar koley tuley dilaam, my father is very sick, uni aro chetey gelen, hamakey beijjoti korlen unar nurse-der samney, amar adorer biral-key uni churey feley dilen, bollen for the rest of my pathetic life, I will live in the jungle like a Jongli with wild animals. Janen bhais apnara, Doctor saab said, problem is not with my wife, problem is with me. My some kind of count is very low. Allah hamakey Obhisaap diechen, ki Paap korechilaam bhais and apus, hami jani naa. Ajkey hamar manuser baccha dekhley hingsa hoi, churi kortey iccha hoi. Kintoo korbo naa, do not be afraid of me and my wife, please bhais and apus.

Gopal, Zeeshan, i-dump-er wives naki khub Dajjal, hamar wife kintoo khub bhalo manus. She loves me very much and I love her everyday of my life. But hamra morey geley hamader ei Taka-poisha Dhon Dawlot kakey dieye jabo, hami bebey kuno kul kinara pai naa.

Jai hoke, amar jiboner ei dukkher kotha-ta boley amar chowra bookta ektu halka holo. Hami dua kori apnader Allah bless you more and more and give tens of beautiful children like Tigers-eye bhai.
Bk bhai akta chele ba meye adopt niye felen. Lots of kids out there who would love to have loving parents like you in their lives.

Sylheti_Beta
September 6, 2016, 08:02 AM
Right! My posts come from ignorance. You highlighted it. Should I quote it? You can say it was against the post but who wrote the post? :facepalm:
Please quote it all you like, it wont change the true meaning of the phrase.

An argument from ignorance is a logical fallacy. A mistaken belief based on an unsound argument; so, an ignorance fallacy occurs when a person mistakenly believes something to be true that is not, because he or she does not know enough about the subject to know otherwise.

It is called so because it stems from ignorance regarding a subject. So any person may be ignorant about a subject and be called out as such, quite unlike the epithets and titles you bestowed on me :D. Using this phrase as a crutch to justify name calling (idiot, moron) is :lol: (not to mention the liberal usage of ad-hominem elsewhere).

And yes that college degree is still paying dividends.

iDumb
September 6, 2016, 01:26 PM
And yes that college degree is still paying dividends.

Doesn't seem like it. The fact is you are still stirring the meat despite that degree. I hope your cooking is not as boring as your posts. No body cares you took english 101 in freshman year or logic 101 in high school- it is the content of your posts that matters.... So far it has been very empty.

This is what I think and this is my perspective. We have created a culture where girls need to get married and in fact (i will generalize based on my experience) most girls want to get married. They are in high demand from age 20 to 30 and they are in control and they dictate terms. Once past 30, there is a sense of urge for them to get married - otherwise there are parental/family pressure, friends pressure, cultural pressure. All of her friends are married with kids - what is she - a loser? There is a vast difference in how ppl will look at a bangali unmarried 40 year old woman against a bangali unmarried 40 year old guy. Is it morally right? I don't know - probably not but that is how ppl are wired to view this world..

you can be the rebel and be the "shining knight in armour" (I call them "morons") and shoot yourself in the foot. Or you can exploit it and play it at your advantage. You can find the girl who will gladly honor her husband and prepare and serve you the best bengali dishes when you come home.. or you can settle for the girl who requires YOU to prepare the the dish for her.... There is nothing wrong with the latter situation except the only difference is at age 40 - you, the guy dictate the term - you are in demand - not her. She has to keep up to make you happy just like how you did it when she was 20.

When she was young, we drove hundreds of miles just to see her.. when she was young, we chased her, we tried to give her everything she wanted, we did everything in our power just to keep her smiling and make sure she ends up with us and not run away to someone else...We didn't care how tired we were or how much effort it was just to give her the best afternoon days after days and months after months.

Now we are OLD and past 30. WE the guy ARE IN DEMAND. NOT HER. It's time she chases US. It is time she goes to the kitchen and make the damn best shorishar ilish there is in the world. Otherwise what is keeping us from running away....

How dare she demands us to cook? Did we demand anything when she was 20. NO we didn't. Because if we did - we would either be in jail or alone.

At the age past 30, I am giving this bangali girl a stable married life, a family, an honor - none of which she would find if she was single... I am making her parents proud of her. I am giving her the PERFECT life. In return, all I ask for is a plate of f***** rice on my table. Is that too much to ask? Or the "knight in shining armour" don't even want that?

Zeeshan
September 6, 2016, 08:26 PM
I am not gonna be too sad if this weird thread gets shut down.

iDumb
September 6, 2016, 09:14 PM
I am not gonna be too sad if this weird thread gets shut down.
haha ...

We are very much in line with the thread topic...

ReZ_1
September 7, 2016, 07:17 PM
Biye na korte parar jonno mon kharap hoy... khub kaadi.. tarpor kichukhon por triptir dhekur tule ghumay pori-- jokhon ranna korte chular samne jai.. piyaj kati.. abar ranna seshe kheye ghumay pori.

BTW... for those yet to get typical dojjal bous.. how to check before marriage whether she will be dojjal or feresta??what the characteristic or fine line between them?

Rifat
September 7, 2016, 07:24 PM
Biye na korte parar jonno mon kharap hoy... khub kaadi.. tarpor kichukhon por triptir dhekur tule ghumay pori-- jokhon ranna korte chular samne jai.. piyaj kati.. abar ranna seshe kheye ghumay pori.

BTW... for those yet to get typical dojjal bous.. how to check before marriage whether she will be dojjal or feresta??what the characteristic or fine line between them?

Ask the girl's best friend(s) or parents what she is like. If you do not have access to these resources, then do not jump into marriage unless you are absolutely 100% doubt free that she is the one.

What you look for in a women varies from person to person but I look for someone who genuinely makes an honest effort at practicing Islam(then everything else falls into place, generally speaking).

Everybody has faults, some minor and some major. Nobody is an Angel, as long as you both acknowledge and work with each other and grow then wife no longer dajjal and husbend no longer fira'oun. Some faults are forgiveble and can be improved upon and others are a big red flag. (again it depends on what you as a person would consider red flag)...

Rifat
September 7, 2016, 07:26 PM
Rez_1 bhai, don't cry bro...while you are single... enjoy life and the free time...save money, take a vacation/travel, do Hajj/Umrah while still young :)

ReZ_1
September 7, 2016, 11:30 PM
Rez_1 bhai, don't cry bro...while you are single... enjoy life and the free time...save money, take a vacation/travel, do Hajj/Umrah while still young :)

Thanks.. actually I only cry while cooking food. Sometimes is Ok but when you have to do every other day then its an issue. can't find instant halal foods around where I stay .
Otherwise being single may be considered as the most wonderful time one can have while studying abroad with full freedom.

Jadukor
September 8, 2016, 01:21 AM
Get to know the girl for at least a few years before settling down. I married my gf of six years and no dojjalic issues.

ReZ_1
September 8, 2016, 02:08 AM
Ask the girl's best friend(s) or parents what she is like. If you do not have access to these resources, then do not jump into marriage unless you are absolutely 100% doubt free that she is the one.

What you look for in a women varies from person to person but I look for someone who genuinely makes an honest effort at practicing Islam(then everything else falls into place, generally speaking).

Everybody has faults, some minor and some major. Nobody is an Angel, as long as you both acknowledge and work with each other and grow then wife no longer dajjal and husbend no longer fira'oun. Some faults are forgiveble and can be improved upon and others are a big red flag. (again it depends on what you as a person would consider red flag)...


I am not sure how you can find someone who is genuinely making an honest effort towards practicing islam. It is easy to see the actions that are visual like praying, giving zakat which can be misleading. However it is hard to see the real virtues like honesty truthfulness ego, etc. unless you spend long time.
It is so common to see person with black spot in his forehead taking bribe.

iDumb
September 8, 2016, 05:09 AM
BTW... for those yet to get typical dojjal bous.. how to check before marriage whether she will be dojjal or feresta

All bous are dojjal ..there is no such thing as feresta. It's all about how much you can tolerate

Btw whatever we married men write ..please do not take these things too seriously . Relationship is very complex and unique for each individual ... you gotta discover yours ...

I think it would be unwise for you to get married just so someone can cook for you .. I know I am writing the opposite of what I have written so far .Lol.... but seriously bro this is the 21st century....

but try to delay marriage as much as possible (if your cultural and religious values allow it) .

Men are actually better cook than woman :)

One World
September 8, 2016, 05:26 AM
What historical evidence do you have on mentioning Feraun (the Pharaoh) as a bad husband? This statement is fuzzy as there is no such person in Egyptian history uniquely named as Feraun, multiple empires with numerous kings are given that same title.

Besides with little knowledge from watching history channels and the Ten Commandments, it is nowhere established the character Feraun was in any way a bad husband.

Rifat
September 8, 2016, 07:50 AM
What historical evidence do you have on mentioning Feraun (the Pharaoh) as a bad husband? This statement is fuzzy as there is no such person in Egyptian history uniquely named as Feraun, multiple empires with numerous kings are given that same title.

Besides with little knowledge from watching history channels and the Ten Commandments, it is nowhere established the character Feraun was in any way a bad husband.

Fir'aoun means Pharaoh. It's a title, not a name :).

When most muslims or Qur'an mentions Fir'aoun 9 times out of 10 it is talking about the tyrant ruler mentioned in the qur'an.

One World
September 8, 2016, 08:38 AM
Fir'aoun means Pharaoh. It's a title, not a name :).

When most muslims or Qur'an mentions Fir'aoun 9 times out of 10 it is talking about the tyrant ruler mentioned in the qur'an.

Statement 1: You just repeated what I mentioned :).

Statement 2: Still cannot validate why he/they could be (a) bad husband(s).

Jadukor
September 8, 2016, 09:53 AM
Why are you taking it so literally. What Rifat is saying is a phrase used for tyrants by many people. Whether it has a historical basis is totally beside the point of this discussion.

One World
September 8, 2016, 09:58 AM
Why are you taking it so literally. What Rifat is saying is a phrase used for tyrants by many people. Whether it has a historical basis is totally beside the point of this discussion.

LOL, I understand what Rifat is saying jadukor sir. We go a long way after all.

The reason for my scrutiny was to really find out few of the Pharaoh's personal life if there any which Rifat knows about but I guess we do not possess much information on that except Cleopatra married Ceaser and then Ceaser died.

That concludes our class on ancient Egypt and Alexandria.

Rifat
September 8, 2016, 11:43 AM
What i really should have said, Husband no longer "Bill Clinton" or "Tiger Woods" or "Floyd Mayweather" instead ;)?

I am talking about the Pharaoh described in Qur'an and many Ahadith, not the one taught in history class. The pharaoh mentioned in Qur'an is not necessarily the same person you quoted.

Qur'an does not mention Dates, because that information is irrelevant to the guidance of mankind.

One World
September 8, 2016, 07:32 PM
What i really should have said, Husband no longer "Bill Clinton" or "Tiger Woods" or "Floyd Mayweather" instead ;)?

I am talking about the Pharaoh described in Qur'an and many Ahadith, not the one taught in history class. The pharaoh mentioned in Qur'an is not necessarily the same person you quoted.

Qur'an does not mention Dates, because that information is irrelevant to the guidance of mankind.

This paper might help resolve the quagmire,

http://www.islamic-awareness.org/Quran/Contrad/External/josephdetail.html

It is evident that the Pharaoh during the time of Moses is the only one the Quran refers to as Feraun, the one you are also trying to portray as bad husband.

Zeeshan
September 8, 2016, 08:04 PM
acha k beshi voyonkor.... dojjal bou na feraun... bolun tw'

Rifat
September 9, 2016, 08:28 AM
This paper might help resolve the quagmire,

http://www.islamic-awareness.org/Quran/Contrad/External/josephdetail.html

It is evident that the Pharaoh during the time of Moses is the only one the Quran refers to as Feraun, the one you are also trying to portray as bad husband.

Yes. but in Ahadith, there in mention of another Fir'aoun, the Fir'aoun during the time of Prophet Ibrahim A'laihis salaam....the guy who tried to seduce Ibrahim (A'laihis salaam's) wife but he froze each single time he tried and let her go free and gifted Ibrahim with a slave-girl named Hajar...

One World
September 9, 2016, 09:30 AM
Yes. but in Ahadith, there in mention of another Fir'aoun, the Fir'aoun during the time of Prophet Ibrahim A'laihis salaam....the guy who tried to seduce Ibrahim (A'laihis salaam's) wife but he froze each single time he tried and let her go free and gifted Ibrahim with a slave-girl named Hajar...

Not Hajar, Hazra (R), she was also the honorary mom of beloved Ismail (A) on whose behalf we get to celebrate holy Eid Al Adha. Sarah (R) was the mother of younger son Ishak (A), also known as Isaac.

But again in Quran, the only Pharaoh is the Feraun you mentioned, as you earlier mentioned Quran only, so I will not bring in context any Hadith you are quoting now for the sake of my argument. :D

(PS. I did not know this king was mentioned as Feraun in Hadith, can you give me the reference? Thanks.)