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View Full Version : How to maintain weight on Banglacricket forum? - A 12 Step Program


Zeeshan
November 14, 2016, 04:52 PM
Alternatively: How to be a BC ninja?

Oh! How often we romanced looking at the juggernauts of BC: Mahmood, Ahmed_B, Tehsin, reverse swing, Zunaid, Gopa..umm Nasif, chinaman, ATMR and wondered only if we could do the same! They are quiet, silent assassins behind the shadows, don't talk too often and are outright celebrities. We looked at our pithy selves, lamented and moaned, and moaned some more on how to concoct an artificial veneer of self-importance so as to create a maelstrom after composing the perfect post, hovering finger above the Post button and then watch the global reaction with one.single.post.

Well, folks, wonder no more. Gopal Bhar to the rescue. We have estimated the Flynn effect and analyzed the estimated weight factor of about 100 posters in their BC tenure and came up with the following 12 step programme for the average Joe Schmoe Tom Dick and Harry Jodu Modu Kodu to emulate them and be an instant cyber celebrity.

And thus:

1. Write 'And thus' instead of 'for example' or other hifalutin phrases like Tout court, de rigeur, hoi polloi, koi maach, fons et origo, sotto voce, ex cathedra and other defunct Latin phrases... WHICH NO EVER USES!!!
2. Campaign shamelessly like Donald Trump with connections in high altar and get the coveted green font, then italicized green font, bold green font and finally the much elusive italicized,bold, green font in Garamond typeset. Mortals pay wanna hold off to the red fonts which only few avatars tasted.
3. Lurk in invisible mode, go on self-imposed exile and do a 7-day post fast and finally, at the right moment.... BAM make a ninja post. Examplia gratia who are extremely good at it: goru, Nadim, Rubu. In fact that is Rubu's only way of affirming his own existence.
4. Post once a year and out of the blue to take down a troll or a newly registered member who only has 1 post and you 29999191919911223129 with a simple one worded reply to his monologue: "Really?"
5. Win Fantasy. Then again it may jeopardize you street cred or augment your virginity index.
6. Turn off 'members can post on my wall' feature on your page.
7. Speak in ingits with lame inside jokes and chuckle with a monosyllabic: Hah, heh, or even a more subdued: Hmm.
8. Open a first post like this (http://www.banglacricket.com/alochona/showthread.php?t=31158).
9. Write a stupid post but put a Reference, Works Cited, Bibliography at the end with four thousand hyperlinks in your post.
10. Register as Ashraful. Then again...it may be counterproductive to your weight factor.
11. Insert "The Man" in your name like FagunerTheManAgun, DarkTheManKnight, HereWeTheManGo, AhTheManSan, DilTheManScoop, JaduTheManKor...or...or... get a single worded name like Eminem, Beyonce, Bono, Sting, Cher, Adele like Rifat, Zunaid, Tehsin, Mahmood. Be sure to send a bouquet of violet-white hibiscus flowers to the mods incase your dream single name has been stolen by some bastard registered in year 2300BC who made a simple dweeby post and never bothered to post again. Or if not hibiscus, then a horse's head.
12. Be yourself.

aklemalp
November 14, 2016, 05:11 PM
You may not post attachments

16,000+ registered members and only a handful(big hands) are active, moderately active, or attractive.


Time to delete. Build the wall.

Dilscoop
November 14, 2016, 06:12 PM
lmao. this checks out so hard. Is there anyone you didn't take a shot at? :hhs:




(Also, Step 12 basically a counterproductive step to everything listed prior. Find a real Step 12, that was lazy.)
{Also, you're supposed to keep it at odd number. Internet 101}

Zeeshan
November 14, 2016, 06:15 PM
13. Write on Word. Save a copy before making the final post on BC.
14. Be proficient with multi-quotes or don't even bother to quote when replying to someone.

aklemalp
November 14, 2016, 06:30 PM
In this context, what does weight mean?

Maintain weight, kinda like reputation not tarnished.