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One World
January 6, 2018, 10:36 PM
Time to time I stumble into valuable articles, books and essays regarding personal growth and how to’s for an efficient productive life. Most of those are good lessons and sometimes revolutionary ideas toward a better improved version of self if applicable. Rarely some are just blah. I would like to share some of those and encourage members to share their ideas, models, links which let them become successful in life or achieve a targeted goal. It can be any faculties, education, sports, profession, health, romance etc.

From NY Times best-seller by Kevin Kruse, here are 15 time management tips all ultra productive people maintain regularly:

1. Focus on minutes, 1440 minutes a day.
2. MIT (most important task) gets 120 of early morning minutes.
3. Scrap to-do lists and schedule everything
4. Beat procrastination by time-travel, it means if you scheduled something for February make sure you prepare the platform this month.
5. Do not miss family dinner for a day.
6. Notebook, yes an old-fashioned one.
7. Check e-mails 3 times a day only
8. Shorten meetings - meeting is not to show oratory skills of yours or others
9. Learn to say “No”
10. Know “80% of a task can be achieved by the 20% of effort when you know which 20%”
11. Delegate or outsource as much possible
12. Set work themes for each day of week - something I am still struggling to apply, the only theme so far is Friday TGIF :)
13. Any task if needed less than 15 minutes finish right way, do not add it to the pile.
14. A regular healthy morning ritual - I was never been a morning person yet I have been one for last 5 years.
15. Productivity depends on energy - so cut off stress, take break in every ninety minutes, healthy lunch, lots of water, balance caffeine, encourage happy thoughts

One World
January 6, 2018, 10:48 PM
We talk about resolutions start of every year. Resolutions are like promises - only they are made to self. And as always promises are made to break. One of the most common human self loathing profuses out of resolution breaking stories. Being a long time smoker in the past I know how it works and how many times we promise to parents, wives, close relatives, mentors or to ourselves that we will quit and then break that instantly and carry that pain of cheating while continue smoking. There is a different approach than resolution to make goals work and it has been proven effective for situations like this. Instead of thinking of quitting smoking this year, a goal should be set to become healthier and get rid of any health issues within next 5 year. When being farm on that goal the quitting becomes a sub-goal along with other sub goals such as exercising, better diet, cutting sweet etc.

From my recent linkedin post:

.,,set your What goals (at least 3) that you would like to achieve within next decade or era, picture out the how's like you do an architectural design while developing software and finally ready your why's for alignment and engagement with your actual passion of doing something. Your yearly goal can be those sub-goals leading towards the major goals you set.

So it is What ( long term goal ) , How ( baby steps / keep refining the design and never let go), Why ( you need it for self-assurance that you are on the right path, it is your passion, something which defines you)

iDumb
January 6, 2018, 11:04 PM
What if you are perfect ? I feel like I am perfect ... it's ppl surrounding me that drags me down with their inefficiencies ..

From that nyt 15 lost ..the last one is the only one I agree with .

Ppl can't change behavior ..extremely hard ... you are just genetically made and then brought up in an environment that create you ...


All my life I thought I was lazy but now when I see ppl around me ..I am a superman compare to many .... the fact that I think I am lazy gets me hard time describing these ppl

I have come to not able to stand inefficient ppl .. I don't mind dumb ppl who try ..I respect them. But inefficienct...lack of drive .... those can not be taught I think .

One World
January 6, 2018, 11:22 PM
All my life I thought I was lazy but now when I see ppl around me ..I am a superman compare to many .... the fact that I think I am lazy gets me hard time describing these ppl

LOL
This was quite funny. But how can you say about genetical coding and people cannot change. Isn’t end of the day it is you who is to blame for making ~55K in a year doing nothing or doing just nothing :D. Did not they cover neuroplasticity at your medical school?

iDumb
January 6, 2018, 11:42 PM
I think genetic is an important part and I also think the environment you grow up makes a huge impact . I think people can change but only certain ppl with that drive and mindset .. for most ppl it is extremely hard ..that's my observation.

I think adaptability is the most important factor . Some ppl are very good at it some are not ... just throw ppl on a random stressful situation and u will see who can handles it ..

Teaching can go so much .. no one can teach u to be an elon musk or zuckerburg or trump or mashrafee. You are either it or not

But the fact that u are looking into self improvement u already have some drive .... there are ppl who had no drive ... I just don't understand them

Basically I am trying to say most of these things should come naturally ... time management ..efficiencies .... I think it's difficult to learn human skills from books .

I probably got my work ethics from my mother .. even at age close to 70 .. thanks to almighty she is ready to just constantly do stuff and is pro active rather than being reliant on someone else ... ex she wanted to move a furniture asked my brother lazy f said later so she tried to do her own .. I jumped in ...

One World
January 6, 2018, 11:57 PM
It is difficult but not impossible. It is a life long process and yes, environment, culture, childhood trauma, growing up, parato bhai, prio golper boi, cousins and relatives - every single element can leave a deep impact on the person to be. Laziness is a part of it. I was lazy like s***t. I grew up so spoiled I would not do a single thing for my family needs and even being a good tutor will not continue my high-paid tution jobs too long. Most of us grow up in such a laid back culture that we suffer from drastic cultural shocks when thrown into the hustle and bustle of Western civilization. But like evolution there is scientific proof that certain brain functions can be deliberately ignited through conscious practice. For example, I cannot get too angry any more knowing the combination of chemicals which is causing a neurochemical reaction in amygdala and insula.

The point is we cannot ignore the enormous potential in each of us. With the advent of neuroscience we are well equipped with the knowledge we know what is required to do to initiate such change.

Rifat
January 7, 2018, 12:48 AM
1) when someone purposely attempts to offend you or try to get under your skin in Banglacricket or any other form of internet, learn to let go. they are probably going through some form of stress in their personal life or they are just an a**hole in real life. ignore them :). if the criticism is valid, take it and learn from it, otherwise, better to construct your energy in real life like sports or coding exercise or volunteering in your community or whatever you do that makes you awesome! stay positive

One World
January 7, 2018, 01:24 AM
Thanks Rifat, although this thread is not about BC but I admire your input.

iDumb
January 7, 2018, 01:43 AM
Thanks Rifat, although this thread is not about BC but I admire your input.

what rifat wrote can be applied to real life also. I find a lot of desi ppl lack emotional intelligence.. shada ppl have that a lot. maybe i am generalizing... but this is a great skill though... ability to respond in a way not to attack/hurt someone in real life. I work with some ppl who are exceptional at it..i don't know how they do it in that high stress high demand environment...it;'s almost like they can read ppl and say exactly the right thing or not say anything.

I usually just scream at everyone and get screamed at by everyone also...lol Good thing is we all understand it's part of the job haha.

Rifat
January 7, 2018, 01:43 AM
^^Thanks! It can be extrapolated to any situation. I have a beard and very open about my Islam... so you can imagine, after some idiot blowing some stuff up in the name of ISIS,how i feel in the real world the day after that/months after that/weeks after that/forever :(. how some people give me dirty looks(I know exactly what is going through your head sucka ;)).

The sad reality is, Overwhelming majority of people are not willing to differentiate between average boring every day Muslims vs. those idiots. It is completely an unfair situation as I am, Alhamdulillah able to distinguish between every day average "white folk" vs. that idiot who shot down 50 people in las vegas. It's a double standard. so why not the same is done to me. you may say, "well, they don't do it in the name of religion". well excuse me, have you not heard of the KKK inspired violence that happens many a times in this country(USA) that the news media does not cover as much? what about that time another idiot drove down people in times square 'cause "God told him to do it"...what about all those times, innocent Muslim men and women are murdered simply because they proclaimed "Laa Ilaha IlAllah" There is no God worthy of Worship except Allah" . What about all those drone strikes in Yemen, Somalia, Burma elsewhere every single day? they do it in the name of religion just as much as some idiots do it in the name of ISIS(none of it makes any of it right)

and the sad reality is, it's guilt by association. You may never even prayed once in your life but just because you have slightly brownish skin-tone or your name is "middle eastern sounding" some people will judge you the same exact way or maybe you happen to be born in the same country of origin as that idiot. These are forms of invalid criticisms we as people need to learn and avoid. Mature Good people will judge you based on your own actions and words not by the actions of someone else or someone from "your group".

I apologize if this is the wrong thread for this kind of talk. I needed to get this off my chest. Alhamdulillah.....

iDumb
January 7, 2018, 01:48 AM
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

shivering words!

One World
January 7, 2018, 02:19 AM
Interesting that you mentioned emotional intelligence, one of the topic I was exploring a lot recently. I gently follow posts and articles of Goleman, a pioneer in EQ. Here are some things I learnt from him:

Emotions can lead you to stray.

Emotional Intelligence allows us to use emotions for positive outcomes and avoid situations where they can harm us.

Except pattern recognition, the only cognitive skill, the higher the emotional skills of a leader such as, achievement drive, intuition, innovation, initiative, change catalyst, conflict management, adaptability, response-ability etc. the better the leader is ranked (from statistics).

Besides the following habits of, 1. being proactive, 2. figuring the end clearly, 3. considering hierarchical flow by avoiding side-effects and any cluttering activity, 4. creating a win-win environment (not win-lose, lose-win or win-none), 5. understanding before advocating, 6. being synergistic and 7. always improving, a wise leader will use the matrix of tasks (urgent-important, urgent-not important, not urgent-important and not urgent-not important) to classify tasks using not only rational brain but also emotional brain.

Our emotional mind reacts to situations in the present based on past experiences even when the conditions have changed.

Power of your emotions:

Emotional Intelligence allows to recognize and manage emotional brain operations

Step 1. name your feelings

Step 2. Cause of it

Other people play a large role in your existence and only by managing your social interactions with them can you hope to live a fulfilled life.

Step 1. Put yourself in others' shoes

Step 2. Gauge the feeling

Step 3. Add subjects' nonverbal signs to rationalize

Step 4. Empathize

Step 5. Motivate to change

I expect to write another post in detail about the issue Rifat discussed, it is a very important area of discussion where diversity and empathy run at stake.

One World
January 7, 2018, 08:09 AM
Another skill that is developed in a subdued manner is Listening. Surprisingly we spend whole life listening to others, nature or civilization still mostly incapable of proper listening. Like any other soft skill, it has guidelines which need conscious practice.

Where do I stand in nature of true human sincerity, true transparency. A lot depends on the listener. Listeners! There are those who pull down the barriers and make the way smooth; there are those who force the doors and enter our territory like invaders; there are those who barricade us in, shut us in upon ourselves, dig ditches and throw up walls around us; there are those who set us out of tune and listen only to our false notes; there are those for whom we always remain strangers, speaking an unknown tongue. How do I rank as a listener? How were you when I was speaking or I simply needed a listening aide?

“Too often, managers will interrupt people and share their own opinions. As a result, those who are talking will change their message to match the manager’s opinion” - as quoted by a former manager of Google, Dropbox and Twitter. It seems man management did not go through much transformation since the days of monarchy and spewing theology.

Too often, we fail to take the time to truly understand an argument or an issue. Instead, we hear just enough to quickly form an opinion either in favor or against. In rushing to judgment, we are also prone to cast aspersions on those with whom we disagree as either ignorant or evil. Indeed, this has become a common feature of our public discourse, which seems more like an exercise in picking sides than a genuine conversation.

If we instead inquire a bit more before we make judgments or advocate, we can avoid needless conflict and, just as importantly, we will ultimately be in a better position to advocate for our own views.

While communicating verbally, written or non- verbally to maintain empathy we have to avoid the following,

1. Judging - criticizing, name-calling, diagnosing or praising-evaluatively
2. Sending solutions in the form of, Ordering, Threatening, Moralizing, Advising, Excessive
/inappropriate Questioning
3. Finally common practice of avoiding other’s concerns by, Diverting, Logical Argument, Reassuring etc.

All of these are acutely explained in the book People Skills by Robert Bolton which I highly recommend. You can download it free in google play.

Roy_1
January 7, 2018, 08:38 AM
Wow, what a thread this is, spectacular conversation going on, hope I can learn something, please carry on gentlemen.

One World
January 7, 2018, 01:30 PM
Thanks Roy_1. It will only be useful if members really try those solutions and see some improvement.

For youngsters in their mid twenties focusing on designing life can be a sustaining tool for all future endeavors. Like choosing right major at college, taking the right offer than finding a job or committing to a proper relationship at the right time. Do not let dysfunctional beliefs like you will do rest of your life exactly what you majored in during the best days of your life (college life) mire your decisions on work, play, health, love - the four pillars of life design.

What we should have is an "encore” career—work that combines personal meaning, continued income, and social impact. We are emotional beings and when emotions are involved, design thinking has proved to be the best problem-solving tool. Once we have a well-designed life it will be a life that is generative—it will constantly be creative, productive, changing, evolving, and there is always the possibility of surprise.

The idea is to apply the innovation principles of design thinking to the wicked problem of designing your life at and after university. Finding a job that we can love, building a meaningful career, ensuring a healthy work-life balance, remaining physically healthy and becoming rich - all should be handled with this mental mapping for future.

The first ingredient is reframing technique. Another mind-set is changing bias to action. Also curiosity, awareness and radical collaboration. That's it - the 5 mind sets necessary for an efficient design. I talked about passion earlier in my posts to identify long-term goals. But sometimes it is obscure to really understand passion. One can be passionate about multiple things. Prototyping can help. If A wants to be a programmer, guitarist and also a grandmaster in chess first thing A needs to do is prototyping each possible pathway and outcome, and see what really resonates with them. A well-designed life is a marvelous portfolio of experiences, of adventures, of failures that taught you important lessons, of hardships that made you stronger and helped you know yourself better, and of achievements and satisfactions.

Do not waste any of your daily 1440 minute bank on a wrong problem. Most people do that. It is the success disaster — wake up ten years later wondering how the hell they got to wherever they are, and why they are so unhappy. So, deciding which problems to work on may be one of the most important decisions you make, because people can lose years (or a lifetime) working on the wrong problem. It is not easy to choose at the beginning. The key is not to get stuck on something that you have effectively no chance of succeeding at. Learn to say "No" as soon you recognize it.

Next we need to define our compass - one for a Lifeview and another for a Workview. The main target is coherency.

It connect the dots between three things:
* Who you are
* What you believe
* What you are doing

Workview may address such questions as:
* Why work?
* What’s work for?
* What does work mean?
* How does it relate to the individual, others, society?
* What defines good or worthwhile work?
* What does money have to do with it?
* What do experience, growth, and fulfillment have to do with it?

Life view covers questions as:
* Why are we here?
* What is the meaning or purpose of life?
* What is the relationship between the individual and others?
* Where do family, country, and the rest of the world fit in?
* What is good, and what is evil?
* Is there a higher power, God, or something transcendent, and if so, what impact does this have on your life?
* What is the role of joy, sorrow, justice, injustice, love, peace, and strife in life?

Next is keeping a journal called GTJ. There are two elements to the Good Time Journal:
* Activity Log (where I record where I’m engaged and energized)
* Reflections (where I discover what I am learning)
This journal becomes useful while making decisions for present issue in hand, how a similar issue was handled, the good, the bad and the ugly.

As a life designer, you need to embrace two philosophies: 1. You choose better when you have lots of good ideas to choose from. 2. You never choose your first solution to any problem.
If you accept this idea — that there are multiple great designs for your life, though you’ll still only get to live one — it is rather liberating. There is no one idea for your life. There are many lives you could live happily and productively (no matter how many years old you are), and there are lots of different paths you could take to live each of those productive, amazingly different lives. Again build prototypes to explore questions about those alternatives. Ask a mentor or friend about your prototypes. Not to critique but to reflect and amplify.

The secret to happiness in life design isn’t making the right choice; it’s learning to choose well. Life is a process not outcome. More precisely, Failure is just the raw material of success. We all screw up; we all have weaknesses; we all have growing pains. Convert that raw material into real growth. It’s a simple three-step exercise:
1. Log your failures.
2. Categorize your failures.
3. Identify growth insights.

Not but the least five simple things you need to do: (1) be curious (curiosity), (2) try stuff (bias to action), (3) reframe problems (reframing), (4) know it’s a process (awareness), and (5) ask for help (radical collaboration).

iDumb
January 7, 2018, 01:58 PM
One world that last post is one of the best post I have read from you. Very well put. Looks like you been reading the right books .

One World
January 8, 2018, 08:49 PM
Thanks iDumb, Stanford actually offers a life design course, this post covers almost all of it ;).

Rifat,

We still do not have a proper solution to the paramount problem you described regarding beard and segregation based on religious rituals. It will take a long time for average populace to embrace the truth of cohabitation and empathic existence. But fortunately for people who does not give into the bandwagon and ready to challenge the customary social reactivism, there are some explanations available.

During my PhD which I finished in enormously long time, longer even for someone who was working full time and took multiple breaks, I had three different advisors. The last one through whom I had the opportunity to graduate was Dr. Kenneth Magel. After graduation we are not much in touch but I follow his tweeter handle. Recently he posted an article which explains the science behind hatred. This is one of the beautiful articles I ever came in touch with.
The author mentions Visceral, emotional views against unwelcome individuals are shaped by subterranean forces we never suspect consciously. And then our cognitions sprint to catch up with our affective selves, generating the minute factoid or plausible fabrication that explains why we hate them. It’s a kind of confirmation bias: remembering supportive better than opposing evidence; testing things in ways that can support but not negate the generic hypothesis; skeptically probing outcomes we don’t like more than ones we do. Basically hating what we learn to hate as we grow up, is deeply rooted into our mental model (for ridiculous social conditioning as civil society started on a wrong foot and continued to strengthen it because of a similar collective bias regarding good versus evil) which is ruled by amygdala and insula hindering progress towards empathy and synergy.

Here is the link:

http://m.nautil.us/issue/55/trust/why-your-brain-hates-other-people-rp

So don’t fall victim to biases, taboos, fables, myths or fairy tales. Renovate, self-evaluate and restructure the potential of human mind.

One World
January 9, 2018, 03:15 AM
Back to the original topic here are few more tips I found extremely valuable:

1. Think ways/works/gratuity/fund to keep your student loan/credit card debt to zero or minimum.
2. If you are not serious about teaching or research profession do not do a Doctorate, never.
3. Like diversifying stock portofolio, diversify your courses. Some courses are challenging, take them even if you may not get an A. Do not take a course because it is easy to make an A, chances are you can read the text or notes for 2 hours and should be done with the learning. I would do most challenging core courses of multiple related subjects and 2/3 specialized course to my area of choice.
4. Nobody is perfect, result is important but purpose, care, safety, fun, new stuff are not less. Stop your inner critic and instead of self-loathing as mentiond earlier calculate the growth potential.
5. By junior year you must have come close to your plan for the future - the 10 year long term goal. Start practicing silently in private, everyday with that vision in mind. This would be your MIT which gets at least 120 morning minutes of 1440 minute bank everyday summer, winter, fall, eid, christmas does not matter.
6. While doing 5 do not do the same thing at least make some changes, take smaller but better problems to solve, relentlessly raise your standard.
7. Notebook - spend 15+ minutes end of the day. All successful people does it, maintains a notebook, the tiny roadmap of lifeview/workview and GTJ.
8. An MBA can be important at some point of your professional life but it is also a waste of money. You can learn by reading as much or more than going to school. If you watched Good Will Hunting you know what I mean, may be some late charges for local library. If you can earn a certificate with less courses and much less money like in coursera or some good university online that can also serve your purpose.
Post a thank you note 10 years from now :) or whenever you reach that valuable goal.

BengaliPagol
January 12, 2018, 04:58 AM
most important thing for me is visualising, embodying and picturing situations and scenarios. First i make a mental note of my goal in life. Then i embody that goal and picture what it will be like when i reach that goal, embody it and visualise it deeply, to the point where ill feel like im living that success right now. Then it makes you want to hustle harder.

and then i do the completely opposite. Visualise the worst possible scenario if you dont reach your goal. And i picture being on the street, not being married, having no kids, being called failure by everyone. Once i embody that sort of reality it means i wont be disjointed wen it does happen cos i have visualised it and i will know what to do in that situation.

And then i have that mentality of "there is nothing to lose" so go for gold. Hustle hard. Workhard. Make those sacrifices. Wake up early. Sleep little. Dont waste time doing nothing with friends. Spend that valuable time building yourself.

Roey Haque
January 12, 2018, 05:38 AM
Guys, no rule or hack will work. Everyone is different. You must find joy in your lives. Once you do that, you will see everything clearly. Also, all things in moderation. Goals are good too, but if all you care about are goals, goals will eat you alive, and you will be a prisoner to your goals.

I am incorporating some Buddhist philosophies in my life in 2018.

One World
January 12, 2018, 09:18 AM
Idea of the Day:
After 37 years, CEO and Chairman John S. Watson is retiring from Chevron. And if he could start his career over, what’s the one thing he’d do differently? Build relationships early and recognize how important people are to business.

“The sooner you learn about reading people, listening to others and building relationships, the sooner you will be more effective.”

Consider the positive psychologists, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, who looked at the differences between “very happy people” and those who were less satisfied.
The only significant difference between the groups was that those who saw their lives as happier had strong circles of family, friends and/or romantic partners. So, while spending time with the special people in your life may not be enough to make you happy, it certainly plays a major role. After all, by sharing your life with others, you invite them to share their lives with you. You open your thoughts, feelings and experiences to the people around you. Such exchanges increase the meaning of life as sharing joy is a pleasurable experience, and sharing sorrow can be comforting during painful times.
While researching human well-being, the psychology professor David Myers found that a deep, caring and intimate lifelong relationship is one of the best predictors of happiness.
This correlation is only logical because when people love each other unconditionally and feel loved for being exactly who they are, they’re free to express their true selves. But to be successful, romantic relationships need to hold both pleasure and meaning.
A hedonistic relationship that's solely focused on pleasure and lust will rapidly lose its meaning, while a relationship based on shared values but lacking pleasure will also struggle. Balance is key.

R0ssei
January 12, 2018, 09:47 AM
All my life I thought I was lazy but now when I see ppl around me ..I am a superman compare to many .... the fact that I think I am lazy gets me hard time describing these ppl


All my life I thought I was okay (physical: below par, mental: high) till I started working full-time after graduation. Now I feel like I'm the LAZIEST person not only at work but also in the whole damn city.

FYI: I'm surrounded by white Caucasians who do some physical labour every hour from 6 AM to 9 PM.

bujhee kom
January 12, 2018, 03:04 PM
All my life I thought I was okay (physical: below par, mental: high) till I started working full-time after graduation. Now I feel like I'm the LAZIEST person not only at work but also in the whole damn city.

FYI: I'm surrounded by white Caucasians who do some physical labour every hour from 6 AM to 9 PM.

Ai Papi Ai...Bolen ki, Rosoo bhai?
Are you in the Adult Entertainment Industry? Are you a Bouncer?

Or is this what you do?
400

While your coworkers...
400

One World
January 12, 2018, 08:30 PM
Thanks Royey for pointing out the main ingredient for goal setting hence life, which is the pursuit to be happy. Note that all those hacks talks about three questions. Like BengaliPagol, each has their own style but in the end it is Why -> What -> How.

The Stanford course for Life Design gives you that meta-knowledge of how not to get overwhelmed by following few basic rules. What I summarized in the 8 points should be sufficient to lead this approach successfully.

But if we dig deeper on purpose which you pointed out, here are some excerpts we can consider.

What exactly happiness is and how we can all go about finding it. Bobby McFerrin said, “Don’t worry, be happy.” When you ask yourself that big Why question to yourself while setting up your long term goal, all other responses, whether they’re related to fame, money, power, respect or any number of other things, become secondary to happiness. Whether people are working towards money or any other external goal, in the end, these aims are merely steps on the path to that pursuit. Just consider someone who wants money to afford more surfing vacations and a great underwater camera. For him, money is simply a tool to get the things that will make him happy.
David Hume said, human pursuits from the arts to science to law exist solely to enable people to achieve happiness. It can stem from two factors: letting in positive emotions and seeing life as purposeful. Or to put it differently, pleasure and meaning.
Emotions break us away from our standstills, moving us in new directions and prompting us to take action. It fully complies with the above discussion about designing life. Without emotions, we would never have the drive to do much of anything at all. Simply put, emotions spur us on.
A fulfilling life depends on integrating pleasure with meaning to find true happiness. Smoking a Benson might be an extremely pleasurable experience, but it can’t produce happiness if constantly bludgeoned by the thought of health deterioration in your sub-conscious.
So to be truly happy, we must pursue experiences that not only trigger pleasurable emotions but are also meaningful and personal. That is why not only what and how, also why. Why falls into the passion, emotion and vision which ultimately creates that spontaneously.

To be truly happy, you’ll need to assess both your present life and what’s to come. people who enjoy the present, understanding that their current activity will also benefit them in the future are not hedonist, nihilist or those who are in a rat race. All belonging to latter groups got productivity, life design or mindful actions wrong. Society tends to reward those who try to achieve happiness down the line by enduring suffering today using the carrot and stick hypothesis. In the end it never lets to enjoy the fruits of the present labor. Rigorously involving in painful tasks for future happiness never works cause after all we live by the moment.
So, instead of putting off happiness in the present to be happy in the future, set appropriate goals to make sure you can have both.
Fulfilling such a purpose can actually be quite a challenge. to make sure that you’re advancing your purpose while making yourself happy, it’s important to set future goals that are in line with the principles of meaning and pleasure. Targets that you choose personally for yourself, not ones that are imposed by others. They should be a product of your will to express yourself and your true desires. Take a moment to reflect on the aspects of life that give you the most pleasure. Try to identify both long- and short-term goals that will guide you along your path.
For students, that means first reflecting on how happy your chosen field makes you. Once you’ve done that, you can identify your true self-interests and pick subjects that really bring you joy. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi said, flow occurs when you become so engrossed in something you love that you’re entirely immersed in the process.
When you’re in a state of flow, you don’t feel the anxiety and stress that learning can trigger. Instead, you just act – almost without thinking. If you ever been in research work, you must have experienced such flow at some point of your analytical tasks.
“To different mind the same world is a hell or a heaven” (Emerson),
people would be happier than those who work for external motivators like money, promotions and fame. So ask,
- what do I find meaningful?
- where do I find pleasure?
- where are my strengths?
See how it matches previously discussed life-view.

Roey Haque
January 13, 2018, 02:21 AM
Oh,no, I totally understand. I am from the same school of thought. Like Kobe Bryant said to his daughters in his jersey retirement ceremony recently " Hopefully what you get from tonight is that those times when you get up early and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when don't feel like working — you're too tired, you don't want to push yourself — but you do it anyway. That is actually the dream."

If you can make goals your dream, then you will be happy in the present and happy in the future. However, I have come across enough different personalities in my life to know that people are different and they believe what they want to believe. I do not judge (or at least I try not to) in what makes them happy. I know many people whose motivation to grind daily came to a halt when they found marijuana or alcohol. Which is why I said in my earlier post the point about moderation. The middle path, as Buddhism teaches. I think it's absolutely KEY. Not too much or too little of something. You will enjoy more actually if you only do it sometimes, BUT if you make it your purpose for existence, then you will be consumed by it. Same with goals. It's good, be ambitious, have goals, but take a step back once in a while and just focus on breathing and separating yourself from your ego.

Tigers_eye
January 13, 2018, 07:41 AM
...

Ppl can't change behavior ..extremely hard ... you are just genetically made and then brought up in an environment that create you ...This is an absolute BULL SH!T.

Human are the most adaptable creature.
+++
Plus if you put your mind to it you can achieve it. The negativity, the mentality of "I can't do it" drags you down. Are you going to lay down in your bed while your house is in fire? The laziest person will try to drag them selves out - unless they want to die in there.

So establish your prayer.

BengaliPagol
January 13, 2018, 03:38 PM
This is an absolute BULL SH!T.

Human are the most adaptable creature.
+++
Plus if you put your mind to it you can achieve it. The negativity, the mentality of "I can't do it" drags you down. Are you going to lay down in your bed while your house is in fire? The laziest person will try to drag them selves out - unless they want to die in there.

So establish your prayer.

i agree. It is bullocks to say ppl cant change behaviour. I have convert friends who had a life of partying, doing drugs and getting with girls and Alhamdullilah right now they are so into the Deen that you would have never guessed that they are converts.

iDumb
January 13, 2018, 07:33 PM
This is an absolute BULL SH!T.

Human are the most adaptable creature.
+++
Plus if you put your mind to it you can achieve it. .

adaptibility and changing your behavior are two different things. for most ppl change is hard. read my post again. both words were used. "if you put your mind you can achieve anything" sounds all great but it's not true. if i put my mind into it, i wouldn't be able to swim against phleps. at most i can learn how to swim and beat my neighbor. everyone has physical and intellectual limits.


I have convert friends who had a life of partying, doing drugs and getting with girls and Alhamdullilah right now they are so into the Deen that you would have never guessed that they are converts.

yeah everyone "changes" after getting dumped or having a major life events.. a reactionary step. you can't teach someone all of a sudden to become a likeable leader after reading a book when he didn't have it in him to begin with. That was the point i been trying to say all along.. inspirational talk is a billion dollar business - it makes you feel good... given you mental well being - that's great if thats all you seek.

it's a big thing in jail to convert to islam... All the criminals are drawn to it unfortunately. Tell your converts friends to follow their original religion they were born into - they can all be beautiful. Sorry to be blunt. Drugs ---> converts are the norm rather than exceptiohn.

iDumb
January 13, 2018, 07:43 PM
If you can make goals your dream, then you will be happy in the present and happy in the future. However, I have come across enough different personalities in my life to know that people are different and they believe what they want to believe. I do not judge (or at least I try not to) in what makes them happy. I know many people whose motivation to grind daily came to a halt when they found marijuana or alcohol. Which is why I said in my earlier post the point about moderation. The middle path, as Buddhism teaches. I think it's absolutely KEY. Not too much or too little of something. You will enjoy more actually if you only do it sometimes, BUT if you make it your purpose for existence, then you will be consumed by it. Same with goals. It's good, be ambitious, have goals, but take a step back once in a while and just focus on breathing and separating yourself from your ego.

well put mr rapper. i like your thinking regarding this. And i like the fact that you actually do things that you preach regarding this or atleast that's my observation.:up: could be wrong

Tigers_eye
January 13, 2018, 11:10 PM
One don't change behavior just by reading a book. It has to come from within, his/her belief. If an unfriendly manager's belief system is changed (whatever incentive is responsible), he/she WILL change and become friendly overnight. That is something he can control. If the upper mgmt says this would be your last day if you don't change and you will lose all benefits, if he/she cares for his family enough, he/she will change overnight.

Phelps, bolts are anomaly. Not the norm. 5'8" me can't dunk, will not be able to dunk on a normal 10 feet basket. There was an NBA dunk champ who stood 5'7" beating Human highlight D Wilkins. So I can't be Spud Webb. However, I can change my behavior towards some groups if the right motivation is there or someone can change my belief system with correct logic.

One World
January 14, 2018, 11:49 AM
In the past, we believed in divine beings and that the world turned according to a master plan. This “script” gave life meaning, but it also limited our power to act. That’s why we accepted that disasters like famine were due to God’s will. Our only response was to pray, instead of investigating further.
Now we have rejected the idea that such a script exists. We know that famine is caused by a series of interrelated and measurable events.

Book or not decisions are merely biochemical processes in the brain. A physiology professional should know better. These processes are no more the product of free will than digestion or hair growth. When we send signals to specific parts of a rat's brain through implanted electrodes, we can make decisions on its behalf. We can tell it to turn left or right, or even jump from a height it wouldn’t normally attempt. Free will is a mere illusion.

Just depending on your right brain will not take you anywhere. Similarly incomplete information in left brain helps you cultivate a cult. You need books or proper information in the form of different media to take proper decision. There is a reason why self improvement is a multi-million dollar business. Similarly higher education or adding few extra inches. Everything has their pros and cons. And again people still goes to library in the age of wi-fi. Brain is powerful, instead keeping it idle use it. Make it a workshop of joy and happiness.