PDA

View Full Version : Unsolicited advice !!


Sheikh_Saheb
March 28, 2018, 10:25 PM
The giver may have a problem-solving orientation which can be beneficial when applied to their own life and likes, but intrusive when applied to the lives and likes of others'.

Welcome your thoughts.

regards,
Siraj

Jadukor
March 28, 2018, 10:59 PM
Best approach would be to judge whether the intention is good/honest or a form of bullying. After that you can probably decide how politely you want to say mind your own freakin business

Sheikh_Saheb
March 28, 2018, 11:19 PM
Best approach would be to judge whether the intention is good/honest or a form of bullying. After that you can probably decide how politely you want to say mind your own freakin business

:up: You Beauty. :up:
I get cut when the unsolicited advice is of a particular flavour. The likes of which I've encountered for many years now, it is a specific type of bullying common among folk from my parent's part of the world. Gets tedious real fast. Ain't got the time or the patience.

regards
Siraj

Roey Haque
March 28, 2018, 11:46 PM
This is one of the great questions, isn't it? How to deal with it?

Of course you must be receptive because one can always learn. But then you also get your feelings hurt because the attitude of the giver can be demeaning. Especially, if this is a repetitive trend.

I think you must walk away when it becomes a trend. If it interferes with your thoughts, if you feel bullied, if you feel they are being hypocrites, these are all reasons to walk away. But you must hear them out the first time, because it can be new information. Because you see, being critical, and being open to criticism, is a virtue. If their intention is bad, then it is on them, and it reflects on them poorly. It does not reflect upon you poorly however, as you are only receptive. But such a attitude can be hard to foster, and so it is good option to walk away. Because one thing you do not want is unnecessary negativity.

You need to be positive and receptive. It can be a tough ask to juggle those two. But you can do it with enough affirmations and spirituality. Yes. It is possible.

Sheikh_Saheb
March 29, 2018, 12:46 AM
This is one of the great questions, isn't it? How to deal with it?

Of course you must be receptive because one can always learn. But then you also get your feelings hurt because the attitude of the giver can be demeaning. Especially, if this is a repetitive trend.

I think you must walk away when it becomes a trend. If it interferes with your thoughts, if you feel bullied, if you feel they are being hypocrites, these are all reasons to walk away. But you must hear them out the first time, because it can be new information. Because you see, being critical, and being open to criticism, is a virtue. If their intention is bad, then it is on them, and it reflects on them poorly. It does not reflect upon you poorly however, as you are only receptive. But such a attitude can be hard to foster, and so it is good option to walk away. Because one thing you do not want is unnecessary negativity.

You need to be positive and receptive. It can be a tough ask to juggle those two. But you can do it with enough affirmations and spirituality. Yes. It is possible.

Yep, its a problem when ideas and suggestions are foisted by someone which they feel are gospel. Its even worse when you've heard similar fallacious advice many times over and are bonzer at calling it a mile away. I don't work well with righteousness from so called positions of authority.

:up: And yeah mate, I do walk away.

Cheers
Siraj

aklemalp
March 29, 2018, 06:07 AM
I used to give unsolicited advice to my Philosophy prof. A while ago


, guy was one of the most honest person I know.

DinRaat.
March 29, 2018, 06:12 AM
Biggest question of our generation.

Arranged marriage or love marriage

Tigers_eye
March 29, 2018, 09:19 AM
Wisdom:
1) Believed
2) Practiced
3) Beneficial
4) Firm

Then it becomes compulsory to share the wisdom with others. = Unsolicited Advice.

The real issue is the form of sharing and the delivery method. Offending someone or being forceful wouldn't work. The job is share or deliver the message (wisdom), if the receiver accepts it or not, is not the mission.

mufi_02
March 29, 2018, 09:40 AM
never live with regret!

you like that one girl? go and ask her out. the worst that can happen is a NO. want to visit that place in your screensaver? pack your bag and just go. want to dance to that kygo song? don't worry about what other's think and break out the nagin on the dance floor. get high on top of some mountains. want to learn guitar but think you are too old? screw that and order a nice guitar on amazon. scared what would happen if you speak your mind? don't be and say to her face that sylethi isn't a real language. what to do when life calls you to give up from the sideline? tell life your idol is Riyad.

be weird. be irrational. be you. you are only young once.

don't look back and say what would/could/should have happened if I did that.

[that's the advice I would have gave my young self]

One World
March 29, 2018, 12:13 PM
^mufi_02 and his sylheti-fixation

On topic, unsolicited advice can be made sound like melodic chimes or morning alarm depending completely on the renderer, the listener if already tormented with too much of it from his personal past life may sometimes miss the wisdom oozed out as Tiger's eye mention. From a receiver's perspective you need to constantly ask yourself (unsolicited advice! irony, eh)

What is the motive of the person who is giving the advice?
How much does his advice relate to his own experience, how much can it help to my experience?

Also, a governing factor would be the actual relationship between the giver and the receiver.

Sheikh_Saheb
March 30, 2018, 03:56 AM
Some wisdom, if you can call it that generates from lounging about in echo chambers, so much so that its the only thing that makes sense to the poor bloke spouting it. Cutting losses and not carrying on like a pork chop is usually good form mostly. Not with some though, not with some. Wowsers abound!

Cheers,
Siraj

Fazal
May 30, 2018, 11:58 AM
My Unsolicited advice to you all.

Summer is coming and all public/community outdoor swimming pools just opened.But before you start looking for your swimming trunk and sun blocker lotion, just read the news below....

Woman caught shaving legs at public pool in Florida, sparks outrage (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/05/30/woman-caught-shaving-legs-at-public-pool-in-florida-sparking-outrage.html)

https://youtu.be/mjCOqiWogok

iDumb
May 30, 2018, 12:14 PM
Biggest question of our generation.

Arranged marriage or love marriage

No marriage.

Thank me later. Marriage is for girls. Not for guys. If you are not a loser in life, don't get married.

iDumb
May 30, 2018, 12:16 PM
never live with regret!

you like that one girl? go and ask her out. the worst that can happen is a NO. want to visit that place in your screensaver? pack your bag and just go. want to dance to that kygo song? don't worry about what other's think and break out the nagin on the dance floor. get high on top of some mountains. want to learn guitar but think you are too old? screw that and order a nice guitar on amazon. scared what would happen if you speak your mind? don't be and say to her face that sylethi isn't a real language. what to do when life calls you to give up from the sideline? tell life your idol is Riyad.

be weird. be irrational. be you. you are only young once.

don't look back and say what would/could/should have happened if I did that.

[that's the advice I would have gave my young self]

young self keno? You are still young and plenty of time to implement this.

bujhee kom
June 4, 2018, 12:35 PM
I do not know if this is the right thread for this. I thought I can post it here as this a advice thread, right?

<iframe width="424" height="238" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tqbHt-y6V0c" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Zeeshan
August 26, 2018, 10:32 PM
Amra bangalira ektu beshiie ajaira unsolicited advice dite pochondo kori. Also that stems from lack of boundaries and lack of growth and settling for less. I mean if you think you hit the peak just cuz you won some robotics contest from MIT or some low intensity **** that does absolutely ZERO to paradigm shift and progress of expansion of human knowledge and think that gives you ex oficio ex cathedra right to pass of judgement why I don't go to school then you got some serious problems.

A self actualized person is too busy improving herself in all spheres of life for asymptotic growth to find faults and criticisms in others. It's usually the ones who settles for less and stopped growing...

Worst is when uncles who never exercised a day in their lives lectures you why smoking, redbull or cannabis is "bad" for you

After much Bayesian trial and error I found that usually "Bhai nijer charkay tell den" suffices.