[anonno]

Early this afternoon, opening batsman turned ex-cricketer turned commentator Navjot Singh Sidhu was elected as the new President of the ICC. The Indian Cricket Critics, or ICC for short was started in the late 1980's. The then lead critic Narottum Puri headed this esteemed organization.

Narottam Puri had very high praise for Sidhu. "He is unique, very consistent, highly repetitive, has a very good vocabulary and most essential, loves cliches. Important characteristics of a good critic. I was dumbstruck by the latest comment he made during the NatWest Series...'The Indian Cricket Philosophy is if it ain't broke, break it'. This definitely shows his class."

Sidhu was very pleased when he heard about this announcement. He was awestruck when he saw a group of reporters rushing up to him at the international airport. "At first I was taken aback at the crowd approaching me, for a moment I thought, which way should I run, then I saw the TV cameras and everything. It is just a great feeling and I am overwhelmed. I will do my best."

"I recollect all those days that I spent in the libraries," he continued. "The latest phrase that I picked up from the libraries in England was, 'Misfortune comes on horseback and returns on foot'. All my hard work has paid off, I think I deserve this position."
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When asked which was his best phrase, he said, "It is hard to pick one, but some of the ones that I like most are 'The gap between bat and pad is so wide you could drive a car through' or get this: The Indian tail is like a Doberman, when they must be German Shepherds'. I can go on and on."

When asked about his future plans, he said, "I am working on two books - Cricket Commentary For Dummies and My Book of Sidhuisms. Let's see how the general public accepts that. Also I am working with Daler Mehndi on a song dedicated to all the Asians in the US and the misery they go through to watch a cricket match. This will be titled Kambakth *ish."

Kapil Dev was a little disturbed when we approached him. "I think this is fixed. I did a much better performance than him. But let's not crib on something that has already happened."

Sunny likes to see the brighter side of things. He says, "Hey after all it is an Indian who has been given this position. I would hate to see a Botham or a Lloyd heading this list." He also has plans to team up with Siddhu to form an academy to teach ex-cricketers the art of being a critic. He is very soon publishing his latest book, 'Mastering Cricket Criticism in 21 days'. This book not only focuses on Indians but on all of the Asian cricket playing