Quote:
|
Originally Posted by brockley
It helps 2 talk about it.
My mother died and when she died i was there,she went in2 a fit,i called 000 when she was in a fit even tho she didn't want it,had to do CPR on her and mouth 2 mouth,then the ambulance came but could not revive her.
I find 2 recount these things helps me because it helps 2 deal with the shock manner of things.
I know I did everything but the shock of such an incident,leaves me unsteady every time I hear an ambulance.
It helps anyway to talk about it,and feel better here for doing so.
No matter what country death happens the suddenness of it leaves all in shock.
|
It was difficult to read it. I cannot begin to imagine what you went through. I hope you found the strength to survive through this.
__________
Yes, the shock will never go away. My main point was if instead of healing ourselves if we act then it makes things messier.
Again people hangs onto every word and no doubt someone will misconstrue. But misery loves company. Suppose women who got raped are friends. They will talk to each other and it will manifest in terms - if not through- resentment, hate, bitterness, anger, revenge mindset.
But a therapist is
neutral. She/he only listens to you quietly and lets you vent out your steam and let that burden of your chest.
She listens non-judgmentally without fanning the flames.
Again to quote myself because people conveniently decides to ignore what I write and hear what they want they want to hear. I paste:
Quote:
|
The last and vital step should always be from a foundation of strength and stronghold instead of the current state of affairs where it is always out of deep rooted anger, sadness, depression and violent resentment. In fact at current, we have the system completely backwards where instead of healing ourselves (the past generation that is) we make it a method to make sure all human infants are damn right aware of the incident because god forbid that they don't know "what we suffered".
|
Now if you don't heal yourself- whether mental or physical (take amputee for example)- and you go out there and either run a marathon or coach someone damn right you will make things messier - either %%%%% up your OWN leg or give faulty advice.
How hard was this to understand before
offensively twisting my words?
That was my point. Even though you cannot heal yourself completely, a healthy outlet is necessity instead of an already messed up environment where people are themselves stressed from day to day mundane works and stressed out from traffic jams, office works, commute and personal family/relationship problems.
Did I for once say we should be in denial or gloss over it?
When Tonmoy said his story, I listened. This is simple case of that. And of course I only got to hear snippet of it.
In our culture people don't talk. One of the farcical forum rule is "speak what you'd speak in front of parents". This is one of the dumbest rule ever. We don't speak about responsible usage of condoms to prevent STDS and safe sex, about abusing drugs, about marital preference (or if sexual orientation if it pertains) and alcohol and tons and tons of other taboo subjects.
This is not a credit. A mature setting is where adults talk about any and all issues in an adult way just like our classroom in America/West. Heck for what its worth in our culture "dhonnobad" is a formal word and parents don't say "I love you". That's OKAY. I get it. It's cultural difference. In fact if you thank your parents if they give you a glass of water people might think it is a 'formal' thing and 'dhong'. Not only that we don't teach children to say NO assertively. This raises a kid insecure, non-assertive and especially in US leads to kidnapping and sexual abuses.
To keep up with the time, we need to talk. We need to talk about taboo subjects in a proper mature adult settings. That's how mature people resolves matter. And you know what? When we talk openly and in mature way, be it Bangladeshi parents, they have a more magnanimous outtake and healthy respect for you - the child.