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Old April 7, 2007, 07:40 PM
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Farhad Farhad is offline
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Heres one rather weird one from Andy Bull of The Guardian

Originally Posted by Andy Bull
Over-by-over: South Africa's innings

Bangladesh 251-8; South Africa 184; Bangladesh win by 67 runs.

Well, we've got a live one here and that is great news. Herschelle Gibbs can't bat until no7 because of the time he's spent off the field. If Bangladesh can defend 251 and do the entire tournament a massive favour, they'll need to get Kallis and Smith as early as they can. My mouth is watering and my chin is on the table, and it's definitely not because of the gammon dinner I'm tucking into...


1st over: South Africa 2-0 (Smith 1 de Villiers 0) If, as we're being told, Gibbs picked up this calf injury in yesterday's match, you have to ask why he was picked. It smacks of arrogance, and that is an attitude that may just cost them this game. Smith knocks one down through the covers, Mortaza adds a wide to the total and it's two from the first over.
2nd over: South Africa 5-0 (Smith 4 de Villiers 0) The South Africans went for 70 off the last seven overs, and for the second time this tournament we've seen the serious flaw in their side. Australia can expose the faults in every side, but when the Bangladeshis start doing it, you've got casue to worry. In my opinion the South African attack is just too one-dimensional to take them past the semi-final stage in the Cup. Smith hits two through the off.

3rd over: South Africa 9-0 (Smith 8 de Villiers 0) I forgot to print this pointless abuse from Big Dunc in Jo'berg earlier on today: "It's easy to see why you lot don't like SA. You've accepted being pummeled day in and day out by the Aussies, lap up their battering and sledging like a cuckold in an X-rated movie, but can't come to terms with another team doing it to you. Often. Perhaps its because the England team is (the Saffer apart), the most insipid lot at the World Cup. Lead by the chinless wonder and the pedalo piss-artist, its no wonder you're jelous! Oh and as for Kallis, his strike rate is pretty much the same as your top 5 (again Saffer apart)." Smith bludgeons four through the on.

4th over: South Africa 14-0 (Smith 12 de Villiers 1) Now that big Dunc has managed to confirm the South African's reputations as bullies with his rebuttal of that exact allegation, it's a good time to print Rachel Clifton: "England may have saved their best game of the tournament for Australia tomorrow? That is not exactly the ringing endorsement it could be, considering their form so far, is it? Rather than get my hopes up about tomorrow, I would rather invest my energy in hoping the Banglas can turn the Saffies over here..." A couple of wickets, some stringent spin and tight fielding and well soon see how the South Africans respond to a little pressure. As if we didn't know already. De Villiers avoids his fourth duck of the Cup by pushing one to mid-on. The Banglas are chirruping away like an aviary full of budgies. Smith is unsurprisingly impervious to it and batters two more away to leg.

5th over: South Africa 18-0 (Smith 12 de Villiers 5) "I wasn't aware that South Africa had 'battered' England Australian-style or did I miss it? Did I also miss where South Africa had won something?" wasps Lou Roper back at Big Dunc from across the ocean. De Villiers begins to gather his game together and clips a couple of twos to keep the scoreboard ticking.

WICKET! Smith 12 b Rasel (6th over: South Africa 18-1) It's the big wicket! What a result that is for Rysel! Smith pays for his arrogance with his wicket: stepping across to leg and trying to carve the ball away through the off and he's bowled by a cunning slower ball! That is vital, Kallis is in to try and repair this damage. The game is on, the game is on and.... oh...Dhanya Cheerambathur wants to know this: "What's the best food/anything for that matter you advise to get me off my hangover from a late night/early morning drinking session?" It's important you people know and trust that you can turn to OBO for help with issues like this. Obviously our expertise extends beyond the cricket field (in fact some would say it ends where the cricket field begins). What do I recommend? a drak room, a lap top, OBO, a Bangladeshi victory, a bacon sandwich and a glass of Purdy's elixir.

7th over: South Africa 25-1 (de Villiers 6 Kallis 5) Kallis edges invitingly through the yawning gap at slip. He would have gone if they'd just had a man there for it. Bangladesh are chattering, chirruping, baiting. Kallis plays and misses at a ferocious length ball. They need this man and he's already had two lives. We saw Ireland let him off twice in their last game, and that cost them any shot at winning. The Banglas need to get this man out asap.

8th over: South Africa 31-1 (de Villiers 10 Kallis 7) De Villiers can be a destructive bat himself of course, and here he has smacked a pull through mid-wicket for four. The next is a dot prompting Mushfiqur Rahim to scream 'yes boy yes boy yes Rasel'. And Javed Omar throws down the stumps as the batsmen run a quick single, but de Villiers is in by a yard.

9th over: South Africa 34-1 (de Villiers 11 Kallis 8) A nice line from SunilX on the importance of not muddling your vowels: The 'akamai' audio site keeps calling the Sarfies "The Proteans". pro·te·an - adjective: 1) readily assuming different forms or characters; extremely variable. 2) changeable in shape or form, as an amoeba. 3) (of an actor or actress) versatile; able to play many kinds of roles. Hmmmm...."

10th over: South Africa 39-1 (de Villiers 11 Kallis 13) Kallis thunders a cover drive square for four. "A few weeks ago, I was towards the front of a long queue decrying Kallis for his selfishness, in the face of your defence. Since then, he has been a model team player and has started very positively here again. Andy Bradshaw may not agree, but Jacques deserves credit for changing his game." Naylor, I don't know why you draw attention to this folly - I said then and I say know that Kallis is a brilliant batsman, one of the best in the sport today. He hasn't changed his game, you've changed your opinion. Which is fair enough, because now you're dealing in truth.

11th over: South Africa 44-1 (de Villiers 11 Kallis 18) You can't keep the OBOers off the cricket: as Kallis hits the ball to the square leg boundary, where Ashraful dives to cut it off, and the batsmen run four, here is Akash Sachdeva: "Re Dhanya's query about hangover food - lucozade does the trick all the time - along with a banana and then a half hour later a full fry up (minus baked beans cos they are disgusting)". Not much OBO in that cure is there Akash? Kallis edges through the vacant gully and takes one more.

12th over: South Africa 50-1 (de Villiers 12 Kallis 23) Kallis cracks another boundary, this one through long-off a textbook drive, feet wide, elbows cocked and head still it skims over the grass and hits the fence.

13th over: South Africa 52-1 (de Villiers 14 Kallis 23) Here is the first of the three slow-left-armers, Abdur Razzaq. Here is the shift of tempo and tone that will begin to show us which way this match will unfold. Still no slips in though. De Villiers biffs a couple through mid-wicket. All the balls turn a touch, landing an off and moving perhaps a stumps width away from the bat's edge. Good fielding in the covers keeps de Villiers to two off it.

14th over: South Africa 57-1 (de Villiers 14 Kallis 28) Kallis mashes a four through midwicket with a mighty heave.

15th over: South Africa 62-1 (de Villiers 14 Kallis 32) Lynn Bashforth has the OBO team pegged: "Coca cola and cheese on toast would be my recommendation foodwise to sort out a hangover. Adding OBO? I guess lying prone in a semi-coma and rousing yourself every few minutes for the minimal effort needed to brierfly focus on the screen may work... it seems to do the trick in GU Towers..." Razzaq concedes a wide, and then, worse, a four as Kallis steps down the ground and thumps the ball high over extra cover and over the ropes.

WICKET! Kallis 32 c Iqbal b Rysel (16th over: South Africa 64-2) He's gone! They've got him! Kallis has gone! FANTASTIC! He miscued an on-drive and simply lumped the ball up to the waiting fielder. This game is right in the balance now. I can't believe they've got the two key wickets already, with Gibbs held back in the pavilion this is beginning to feel like the Indian innings all over again. Kemp is in. "The hangover curing powers of the OBO is grossly under-appreciated! You have no idea how many times I have sat sipping coffee and hitting on F5 button. On non-OBO days, the best way to deal with hangover - tomato juice (ew, i know) and a luke warm shower." Are you sure about that Bharath? I thought that was the cure for the horn. Kemp then, distinctly vulnerable at the top of the order due to his nervous starting. There is a whole lot of weight on de Villiers and Prince right now.

WICKET! de Villiers b Razzaq (17th over: South Africa 64-3) De Villers goes! He's never looked so foolish! He played for the turn that wasn't there and was clean bowled by a ball that kept low and went straight on. It castled his middle stump, and he's gone. Real trouble for South Afrioca here. Prince is in, Smith is glowering. Don't forget too that the South Africans dropped Hall for Nel, and that has lengthened their tail by one. What a game this is turning into.

18th over: South Africa 64-3 (Kemp 0 Prince 0) Rafique comes on and nothing is going to get easier from here on in for the South Africans. Shreela Debi hasn't taken to my advice: "'tried recommended bacon sandwich and a (unrecommended) beer, eyes steadfastly on OBO. My not gentlemanly dog named Cat ate the sandwich and knocked over the beer. 'advice therefore needs review. 'not needed if Bangla wins." It's a maiden.

19th over: South Africa 66-3 (Kemp 0 Prince 1) " He's gone! They've got him! Kallis has gone! FANTASTIC!" Of course, I heartily agree, but your commentary is becoming about as 'fair and balanced' as Fox News." Sorry Sam Jordison you seem mistaken me for someone hidebound and hogtied by the hypocritical pseudo-objective nonsense of the BBC's sports department. I am not neutral, I do not pretend to be, our OBO commentary is entirely subjective and all the more honest for it: objectivity in sport is a myth. I want Bangladesh to win, big time. Clear? I doubt there is anyone in the world outside of the RSA who doesn't agree with me.

WICKET! Prince 1 run out Aftab/Rafique (20th over: South Africa 67-4) They're crumbling! South Africa are stunned! Prince tried to take a quick single but he wasn't nearly as quick as the Bangla's fielding: the return came in, Rafique whipped off the bails and he was out by a yard. The Banglas go crazy, and why not? Boucher is in. "Is it too early to request a gratuitously mocking shout out to Dunc from Jo'burg?" No Phil Harrison, no it is not.

21st over: South Africa 70-4 (Kemp 2 Boucher 1) The proteas lost three wickets for five runs in that last power play, which is astonishingly inept stuff.

22nd over: South Africa 71-4 (Kemp 2 Boucher 2) "I, too, would like to register a 'complaint': your commentary on the fall of Kallis should have read 'ABSOLUTELY B****Y FANTASTIC!'" adds Lou Roper, and god knows I know how he feels. Just the one run off this over.

23rd over: South Africa 72-4 (Kemp 3 Boucher 2) Kemp is fooled by some astonishingly low bounce from Razzaq's latest. He flicks a wide down leg. Mortaza has tweaked his hamstring fielding at extra cover and gone off the pitch for a run or somesuch thing.

24th over: South Africa 73-4 (Kemp 3 Boucher 2) We've had 54 balls since the batsmen last hit a boundary. The ball is just dying on the pitch. Jeff Feim rants: "Does Sam Jordison know the impact that this victory will have in a country that was born from the ravages of imperialism and a brutal genocidal war? 150M proud Bangladeshi's will be walking on air if they can pull this out. This team is young and skilled and hungry - just the thing that international cricket needs to challenge the rutted current order. I have nothing against the 50M people from RSA, but let's get behind these talented usurpers!" Ummm, indeed.

25th over: South Africa 77-4 (Kemp 5 Boucher 3) The batsmen decide to sreep down the pitch and get to the ball on the half-volley. With so little room for error though, they're unable to pick up more than ones. Rahim screams for a stumping! The Banglas are certain they've got Kemp here but third umpire Steve Bucknor spares him, rightly, as replays show his toe was just over the line. As Kemp tips one run to short fine leg, that takes these two to nine off of 45 balls between them. And the Sarffers though Kallis was a slow scorer..... 175 runs needed from 25 overs.

26th over: South Africa 80-4 (Kemp 7 Boucher 5) Sam Jordison defends himself thus: "I think I'm been given a bit of a hard time here! All I really wanted to do was slip in a dig at Fox News and the South African cricket team... I'm sure most people here will agree those aren't wholly despicable aims... er... Go Bangladesh!" duly forgiven Sam, duly forgiven... you have to realise that we OBO writers take allegations that we might have any journalistic integrity whatsoever as very serious insults indeed.

WICKET! Boucher 12 c Rasel b Saqibal WICKET! Kemp 7 c&b Saqibal (27th over: South Africa 88-6) And that is what Boucher can do! Kemp too for that matter. He steps down the pitch and belts a huge six into the stands. He's gone! They've got him! He's bottled it! Boucher is caught at mid-off trying to slap the ball out of the ground but land it neatly in the fielder's hands. A stupid shot. And they've got Kemp too! Saqibal is on a hat trick! What a shocker! South Africa have collapsed like a paper house in the rain! Kemp just prodded the ball down the pitch and Saqibal stooped to take a great low catch! What a performance!

28th over: South Africa 91-6 (Gibbs 0 Pollock 2) The very last hope for the South Africans then, Gibbs limping and using a runner. Unbelievable scenes in Guyana. Who said the Super Eights was done and dusted? Who said we knew who the top four were? Who said there was a dull tournament in store? Who said there was going to be some magic this weekend? Oh wait a minute, I know that last one - me, in this week's podcast. Optimists 1 - 0 Cynics.

30th over: South Africa 98-6 (Gibbs 4 Pollock 6) I'm a little wide-eyed and incredulous right now, I'm sure you understand. Like the Banglas I have to gather myself a little and get on with finishing this innings off. Gibbs works the ball fine for two.

31st over: South Africa 104-6 (Gibbs 4 Pollock 6) "Is England the only "elite" team besides WI not to join the "lost to Bangladesh" club? 'Cos it looks like RSA might be joining one quick. Wonder what it does to England's chances (as I write 6 down)." What it does, Sanjeev Sinha, is open up the top four spots. Winides, South Africa and England all still have to play each other, and the South African's are rapidly losing the advantage they had held in that race for fourt place. 32nd over: South Africa 107-6 (Gibbs 12 Pollock 8) Naylor spots some neat symmetry: "The Saffers started this innings an insulting 1/7 with GU's advertisers Blue Square. They are now 7/1 and even that seems very skinny." Rafique wheels away, the cunning old hand in this attack. Pollock and Gibbs nurdle him around for ones and twos, but no more.

33rd over: South Africa 117-6 (Gibbs 20 Pollock 11) Gibbs belts a tremendous six that just clears the man at long-on. Some may say Arun Kartik was getting carried away, I couldn't possibly comment: "Since the loss of India, I have been supporting England to win the WC...and if Bangladesh beat South will be a massive boost to England. South Africa are still stuck on 4 points. England can beat Windies, South Africa and even Australia and England will be in the Semis!" 134 needed from 17 overs.

34th over: South Africa 122-6 (Gibbs 20 Pollock 12) Mortaza returns, not a bad move from Bashar as these two dangerous batsmen were beginning to look a little settled against the spinners. "Who coined the saffers term here? is this a GU thing? marginally better than proteas though, that one sounded like a trendy abbreviation of a genus of butterfly" maybe, Satyajit Mujumdar. I can't claim it as my own, as I was a little puzzled by it at first. Needs some standardisation though doesn't it? Saffers? Sarffers? Sarfers? Whoveer did coin it perhpas you could oblige? Aaah, Banglas have missed a dead-cert run out after Aftab whizzed the ball in to the wrong end and gave away an overthrow.

35th over: South Africa 128-6 (Gibbs 24 Pollock 15) 130 needed to win from 95 balls. Gibbs thwacks two to the covers where the ball is well fielded by Omar. Bangladesh are just going all out: Saqibal ran some thirty yards to chase down a run off hsi own bowling there. Smith has a face like a slapped cow's arse, red and bulbous. He runs his tongue over his teeth, and is clearly thinking 'oh bugger'.

Pollock 17 run out Iqbal (36th over: South Africa 133-7) Well, we've had two claimants and two spellings: Saffies and Sarfies. As you will have realised by now if you've read any of my OBOs before, I am deeply passionate about accuracy in spelling, so the lack of clarity on the matter is a great concern. How can I spell it wrong if I don't know what's right? Anyway, Mortaza continues, and as Clare Davies says: "There is a real stonking match on here. SA being bullied by the kids! Fab." There are two more wickets needed yet though - don't think that Gibbs and Pollock aren't capable of turning this around. Or are they? That's it! Iqbal has got him! Stunning. I take it back. Pollock drove to mid-off and ran, Iqbal picked up and threw down the stumps. He was shaking his head moments later, seemingly saying "No don't get carried away, I haven't got him". But he had! His throw was spot on, and the replays showed Pollock a foot out of his ground and this game is only heading one way now, surely.

37th over: South Africa 137-7 (Gibbs 32 Nel 1) What a performance this has been by Bangladesh. Fielding, batting and bowling, they've hardly put a foot wrong since Ashraful set out on that startling 87. Saqibal is whirling away, and Nick Denny has 'just a thought': "Is it me, or does the slightly high-pitched voice of what I presume is the Bangladeshi wicketkeeper sound like Chris Rock's character in the Fifth Element?"

WICKET! Nel 1 c&b Rafique (38th over: South Africa 137-8) Rafique returns. No doubt the Proteas have underestimated this Bangladeshi side by leaving out Hall and playing an injured Gibbs. Nell has gone now, playing the ball straight down the track at ankle height, he's easily caught by Rafique. This is a dominant performance by the Bagnlas. Langeveldt is in, bringing his mighty career-avergae of 1.6 with him, and this is just amazing stuff: like watching ants dance all over the corpse of a dying lion.

39th over: South Africa 140-8 (Gibbs 33 Langeveldt 0) As I was saying, accuracy in all things is very important to me: "It's actually Chris Tucker in the Fifth Element." looks like it was just you thinking Rahim sounded like Chris Rock's charcter then Nick Denny. 112 needed from 66 balls.

41st over: South Africa 145-8 (Gibbs 33 Langeveldt 2) Bob O'Hara, don't tempt me..."I guess it's time for you to start writing your "Thabo Mbeki, your guys took one hell of a beating" speech." Ten overs and then I'll start shouting, if Thabo Mbeki's boys can make it that far....Big Dunc, Francois Pienaar, Benny McCarthy, Quinton Fortune, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, your boys took ..... Saqibal finishes his spell by giving up two to Langeveldt and cleverly keeping the lesser batsman on strike. Well ok then , accidently keeping him on strike.

42nd over: South Africa 148-8 (Gibbs 36 Langeveldt 2) Where is Daan van Bunge when you need him? asks Barry Richards. As Rafique comes to the end of his spell - ten overs one wicket for 22 - the question seems especially pertinent.

43rd over: South Africa 152-8 (Gibbs 40 Langeveldt 4) 103 needed off 48. Mortaza limps off the pitch, and Bangladesh will hope he is fit again for their upcoming matches. They've just dominated this match, much as they did India. When they get the pitch, and the upper hand, they are a fantastic team: all smiles and jokes, bold strokes and crafty balls. "At least Charl Langeveldt can look back on this match with pride, beating his personal best of 3 in ODIs." points out David Harper, he is indeed in a barve new world here; the heady heights of four runs.

44th over: South Africa 155-8 (Gibbs 43 Langeveldt 5) Syed Rasel returns for the final overs. Aye aye aye keep Euan Maloney: "In the 39th over you wrote: "As I was saying, accuracy in all things is very important to me" That is quite funny given that the next over was the 41st." Tell you what, it is especially funny if you realise I was lying about the accuracy thing, and the humour of the whole thing is magnified again when you notice that by moving from 39 to 41 I was actually being unusually accurate because, the spinners get through their overs so fast I didn't write anything for the 40th. It's a positve gag fest round these parts I tell you. And not just because of the canteen food either.

45th over: South Africa 156-8 (Gibbs 45 Langeveldt 6) And when they're down, why not kick them? "I think it's a disgrace that Langeveldt is batting for his average with his team in so much trouble." smirks John Middleton. Razzaq bellows out an lbw shout for similar reasons. Gibbs is basically netting here.

46th over: South Africa 162-8 (Gibbs 45 Langeveldt 6) 96 runs needed from 30 balls. "This is hilarious. SA are no longer even dreaming of victory. They're trying to bat out the overs in the hope of preventing their already poor run rate from being damaged still further. Mentally, this humiliation will take some recovering from. It's there for whichever of England and the Windies is able to take it..." Phil Harrison has a point folks: like I said in the week, there is a whole lot of cricket to be played in this Cup yet, which is why all these article claiming we already know who the top four are couldn't be more silly. Unless they were articles talking about possible match fixing in this game - get a grip people! You must be the most cynical lot on Earth if you think that.

WICKET! Langeveldt 9 lbw Razzaq (47th over: South Africa 165-9) Charl's mighty innings is cruelly cut off before he can taste the glory of double figures. Plumb in front Mark Benson flicks out the finger and he's out. Ntini joins Gibbs for these final overs. Tom Hokins isn't fooled by this late Gibbs knock: "When did SA give up on this one, after 30 overs, 25? This isn't the usual SA choke, this is a thrashing!" Exactly. Maybe Sugandh has a point too: "If this would have happened earlier then Chappell might have been spared the sack!!"

48th over: South Africa 178-9 (Gibbs 55 Ntini 4) Mortaza has snuck back on the pitch and he fancies a shot at ending this innings. A terrific shot by Ntini brings him four runs through cover. But then Mortaza is crocked. He serves up a full toss which Gibbs hammers for the biggest six of the day, way away over mid-wicket. If he'd been fit to go in at three or four this match could have been very different. The South Africans have three more matches coming up over the next ten days, and doesn't look like he'll be fit for all of them.

WICKET! Ntini 8 c Mortaza b Razzaq 49th over: South Africa 184 all out Razzaq bowls four wides, and I think the Banglas are itching to start jumping and celebrating here; they can't wait for this game to end. And now it is... they're splitting up the stumps between them and there are high fives, glee, grins and cackles all round. Ntini sliced a drive up and was well caught in the covers.

Bangladesh win by 67 runs. Gibbs is not out for a futile, fruitless 56. What an incredible game of cricket that was.

Well, I'm pretty damn astounded by that, and I hope you are too. The World Cup is alive and well, with Windies, England and South Africa fighting over the final semis spot. And it has to be said that the Banglas are back in it now. Let's not forget, Bangladesh had never beaten South Africa before in any form of the game. Today they didn't just beat them, they thrashed them, outplayed them in all aspects of the game. It was just brilliant.

So that's that then. For today. Man of the match has to be Ashraful for his ludicrous knock of 87. But credit too to all of the Bangladeshi bowlers. I'm off to revel at the pub, but be here tomorrow with the remarkable Rob Smyth to see if England can find a little magic of their own against Australia....
^True dat^

Last edited by Farhad; April 7, 2007 at 08:43 PM..
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