[SS]

Fahmida first of all congrats..great news that a new born is on the way...he/she will have so much meaning to your life despite all the struggles of life. We all pray for you, family.

This is a topic that is not easy but so important part of many of our lives. Marriage life is different and nobody expects to create this conjugal life in one day. Expectations before marriage can largely vary as two individuals start living and sharing, caring and sacrificing together. It's not easy if you are different and your lifestyle is different. But definitely counseling helps, but at the end you take your own decision.

It seems some activities (e.g. cooking, comparision etc.) that are contradictory to you. You are not alone and lots of people face this type of situation. Obviously, considerate person can change this type of thinking, but there are exceptions. Both partners need to compromise. Instead of finding negatives, find what your partner really like. It's also same for him too. Instead of making cooking a necessary part of life, make it an art of life and try enjoy the concept of 'cooking'. It's not a natural instinct for everybody, but if you try new cooking or even take advice from a good cook and then cook by yourself, it's a great accomplishment. Think like that way. But he also has to appreciate your effort. You have to understand sometimes not all people can appreciate or very expressive, sometimes they have their own way.

In-laws factor is always a big factor for girls (and also to some guys) as we embrace a new family, new parents. That is why it is very important to find the family value of your partner before marriage especially. As you can not change any person overnight, and not necessary people will change for you, you have to work with your partner to solve this issue. It's vice versa, but some guys believe in joint family as it was a tradition of our country. Some guys are independet. It seems you like that quality and it's more appealing for you. As you are already married and having conflict on this personality trait, work with your partner. May be if you guys relocate for a job or any other opportunity, it will help you establish your goal of having your own family. But remember, don't force or try to convince your partner just for the sake of you believe living seperately, it will not work right away, and conflict will occur. Show him the reason, show him the meaning of life and building partnership. Being a wife and being a husband are huge responsibility and both have to support each other and work together to form a family. It will be difficult for your to change a personality of Mama's boy but with your integration, love, hope and partnership you can make it happen. It will be struggle for your life, but if you have good will All mighty should help you.




It's not easy to do it, but sometimes you have to do it. If you think it's unbearable ask your mind and self. Do meditate and talk to your mind. Know your self and try your best. There is so perfect solution as marriage life and complicacy of life are changing with the time.

This is my 2 cents for our firstever BC member and welcome back to your another home.