Thread: BY NOVEMBER 12
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  #9  
Old October 9, 2003, 10:51 AM
rafiq rafiq is offline
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Join Date: September 22, 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,394

James, good job but if you want something more useful than "good job", some thoughts to consider:

1. The connection to Nov 12 was not immediately clear - Maybe stating that in para 1 would have helped. Actually there was a typo there - Sept 12? A common formula you can try is: set up your hypothesis in the first para, give the background and your arguments in the main body, and then come back to conclude if this is indeed a piece meant to persuade people that "such and such may happen by Nov. 12"

2. In general, your details on all the series and also the WC was good but probably too much.

3. because the piece was so long, I couldn't get to your overall hypothesis or conclusion ie. "What?" by November 12? Just that all these teams will have played each other? That fact by itself is not so interesting. But now if you were hinting that Bangladesh will have finally "arrived" or the balance of cricketing power would be changed by that date - that would be more interesting.

I think your message on the significance of Nov 12 was there, and you do come back to it in the last para, but the piece became too long for me to catch it quickly.

Take this as positive feedback...good luck
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