[Shartaz]

Originally Posted by mar umpire
Ponting will bump into steve smith, break his finger, then throw the ball in anger which will subsequently hit brett lee in the foot causing a fracture. Ponting in his frustration at losing his premier bowler will then throw his box which will ricochet off a nearby television to strike watson in the face. Watson will have to leave bangladesh for plastic surgery to his face. In the meantime Mithcell Johnson will try getting tattooed at some dodgy tattoo parlour and will subsequently contract a staph aureus infection (although rare) that is resistant to antibiotics. Treatment with local antibiotic tablets which really consist of talcum powder encased in a capsule will lead to a further deterioration of his condition causing him to fly home to his mother. Shaun Tait will bowl a beamer in the nets to mike hussey and in the process injure hussey and injure his own groin.

Australia will come in with a depleted squad and Bangladesh will win 3-0 whereupon the world's media will claim that this was a 3rd string Australia/west Indies team, it doesn't really matter because Chris Gayle did not play and so Bangladesh's wins count for nothing. People will point out that Chris Gayle plays for west indies and not australia however the media headed by Monga will claim that "as hard as it is to believe, it doesn't matter, the fact is Chris Gayle wasn't playing" and will also claim randomly that "the West Indieas bus got stoned". Khaled mahmud will then say that this is a depleted australia squad not like the one he faced which consisted of Alien, predator, Terminator and Rambo as part of the attack not to mention Bruce Lee as 12th man. Khaled mahmud will also claim that he could have led a team full of ashraful's to victory over the current zimbabwe and australia sqaud, showing how bad the squad was.

At the end of it all however the fans will scream "Sack Siddons" and "It's all Siddons' fault" whereupon one member will point out that he has already been sacked. After hearing this there will be renewed calls for "No foreign coaches" and "Sack Shakib and Tamim and bring in Akram Khan as coach" as well as "bring in Khaleda Zia's gynaecologist daughter in law as trainer to deal with the pregnant Tamim and Nafees". However the BCB with its exceptional panel of analysts will come up with the grand unifying theory of ashraful-avity and replace the team with Ashraful seeing how a team of ashraful's could have beaten this team.

On a more serious note we have to do something about our board and the idiotic media

Very original, you have a fair amount of creativity.

thoroughly pleasing to read. Almost looks like a short screenplay for a sitcom or something...