I usually do not participate in online fora but I will express my views on this topic.
I am a no one.
I do not follow any religion.
I am not a patriot.
I am not a nationalist and neither am I am not college graduate.
I have zero pennies in my bank account. I do not have a job.
I have no girlfriend and never did.
I have no identity.
I am a faceless person.
Precisely because of this lack of attachment and my stoic life I have balls to be whoever I wanna be.
You wouldn't see me hanging around in Bengali parties, kissing up to people and picking up tissue paper trashes after them or their kids.
I have no friends. You wouldn't see me hanging around in clubs or bars or having a cozy Miller time with jocks watching football.
I like my own status. I was never fond of social media and deactivated them. Simply because Zeeshan Mahmud doesn't go around begging for people's approval and validation.
Yes at one point I had my share of social media profiles. But that is because I lost touch with my essence.
Real Zeeshan Mahmud is not a damn people pleaser.
I ran away from my home at 18 simultaenously dropping out of college and abdicating the religion I was given to live with room mates surviving on my own as a dishwasher.
I live life on my own terms.
So clearly I have no identity crisis as I have no identity.
Who am I then?
I am Spiderman.
First of all, neither religion nor language nor blind patriotism or any other label encapsulates who I am.
I have a tattoo on my left arm that says: "Know Thyself". And I EXACTLY know who I am.
First of all, from non-dualistic point of view, I am nobody. I am nothing. Not nothing. But no-thing. Ineffable.
Then hierarchically down the order...
I am Self.
I am Atman.
I am a Soul.
I am God.
I am Light.
I am Divine Being.
I am a spiritual being in human form.
I am a human being.
I was born in Bangladesh.
And so on and on...down the egoic chain of command.
There will be certain people in this forum who will conflate this with narcissism. What these people fail to realize is everyone has ego. That's right. Even saints have ego. And some nice, kind hearted polite people have what psychologists will call "manipulative ego". Sure they are not proud and haughty and have massive ego in the traditional sense but these people will act nice to get their jobs done. Do Google narcissistic personality disorder.
Even if I were to lose my home, my shelter, my food, my passport and everything that belonged to me tomorrow, I would know in my heart of hearts who I am. No external attachments define me.
As Kierkegaard said: "When you label me, you negate me."
Of course some will interject and point out that I am really not on topic and being bombastic. Exactly that's what I am doing. I am trumpeting how great I am so that all of you can bow down and worship me. :deadpanemoji:
However, having said all these I must point out that I do have values.
I value:
Integrity. Honesty. Loyalty. Self-respect. Mutual respect. Authenticity. Dignity. Friendship. Courage. Pursuit of excellence. Civil liberties for all human beings. Etcetera among other things.
So what I fail to realize, if all you are so chest-thumping patriots, why do you even allow some eponymous "anon" to come to YOUR turf and tell you if you should join their country. As far as myself with no attachment and neutral, I do not care. It doesn't bother me the least bit. But it should bother you. No?
How many times would ICF or PP even allow such drivel to exist? Oh I see. "Free speech and all that." I can respect that. Again, mods swear by the fact that this forum is not democratic. But instead of shutting this damn thread down, why fuel it? I am fuelling it because I am Zeeshan and I can do whatever the f I want.
One of my biggest regret in my career in BC is never to get banned. That means I was just some spineless people pleaser oozing with odious nice guy niceholic syndrome. Secretly I do admire some people in this forum who got banned multiple times. Good. That means they stood up for something they believed in instead of being all goody goody and nice and to bend over their back like Shamim and Athar to please other commentators the least bit they get the signal that a player is showing off bravado. That flag goes up. And this is why Indians never respect us. Cricinfo boasts about their on field accomplishments and we conflate healthy self-esteem with ego and instead become all meek while Indians run us over like deplorable bullies both as commentators and in TV discussion panels and what not. People who has self-esteem problems will point out maybe because we are not good enough? No you idiot. We are not good enough because we do not feel worthy enough. It is cart before the horses. You don't need to succeed to feel worthy, rather the opposite.
We go to colllege. We pen formal letters and fill out forms and check this little boxes. We edit our speech into neat little packages. We make our bosses in office happy and get coffee for them. We edit out purple prose, color and fluff in sacrifice for tehnical and mechanical robotic language in some yawn inducing monographs. In the process, we lose the very thing that makes us who we are: Our SOUL.
Ali didn't become great because he won the battles. Rather he WAS great and that is why he won all the matches.
There was once a study done in psychology. Once a salesman got his foot in the door and asked if he can plant a picket fence on customer X's front lawn. The people who said yes also said yes when these same salesman showed up next week and pitched their sales. I mean this is how people get their foot in the door. This is how the values we cherish gets eroded. This is why - and also mainly due to the fact that world has turned a blind eye- why genocides happen, why 71, Holocaust, Syria, Rohingya, Polpot, Rwanda happens. Not due to this stupid thread, but the fact that slowly and slowly people starts sacrificing their basic human rights.
In French there is a proverb: "Qui vole un oeuf, vole un beuf." One who can steal an egg, can steal a cow.
Point of this rather long winded and my final post being, never ever sacrifice the values, rights, creeds you deeply believe in solely to make other people happy or conversely if it will make you uncomfortable.
Thank you.
Heck now I think this should be its own thread.
[I am a man of my word. I will exit with a bang just like I made entrance into this amazing and beautiful forum.]
All the best guys. For those who ask why I will leave. Well geez man. God doesn't have social media. You also don't see Kobe Bryant, Jason Bourne and James Bond hanging around in virtual online fora bickering if Kayes was in beastmode against Sri Lanka or what not. Anyways, your life is yours mine is mine. It was an amazing journey and thank you for your love, support and blessings.
BC is indeed a great family.
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