Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeshan
Here BP, since I am so kind I will help you out. I will post imaginary scenarios and you will make the first move. Ready? Get-set-go!
Puzzle #1:
You are the one on right. How do you "Break the ice"?
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Can you please step aside, you are so close to the bar as all my rocks are melting out fast. Jokes aside I like the definition of LOVE given by sum1 dada.
' if someone is desperate to be with you, chances are they think you're better than they are. They may be utterly wrong, but that's what they're conveying.
Conversely, if someone is aloof with their affections, they probably think they can do better. They may also be wrong, but in both cases we're wired to interpret this as feedback on our own attractiveness.
Neediness is repulsive because we've evolved to recognise it as a bad signal. It's like a fear of spiders or scorpions: a primal instinct which protects our best interests, even if we don't understand why. "You know I get freaked out by these movies, why didn't you offer to come and pick me up?" The message is:
you have failed to recognize one of my needs, which is your responsibility: you have abandoned me again
I'm entitled to your help, you owe it to me
Me, grateful? You should be apologizing that I even needed to ask!'
I think this is the point when a relationship loses all the charm. 'When people get to a point where all they want is you to agree with them because "friends accept you no matter what" then it's time to cut the cord. A friend explained it this way; unconditional love only exists, most of the time, between a parent and child.' "She said she loves her husband but she has conditions on him." As Bruce Almighty would say, "and that's how the cookie crumbles."
'The kind of neediness that is repulsive is when someone has an emotional neediness that they want someone else to fill. It can't be done. Their pit will suck you down into an unhealthy and possibly codependent relationship. Eventually you will even be blamed for the presence of their neediness and it will become your impossible responsibility.'
The problem with long-term relationship, as established in different cultures as marriage and retrofitted with norms and policies by spiritual prophecies has never been able to reduce the tension of chronic fading of infatuation. This gradual decrease of one-track attraction has been tried to be systematized by many ways by civilization such as open-relationships in the west, multiple marriages by Muslims and Mormons, naming relationships as NSA, FWB etc. Recent surveys show even wives are coming out of monogamic relationships and been vocal about their extra-marital affairs in a higher percentage.
The problem lies in the fact that human mind genetically tuned to learn the whole thing wrongly as they surpass their puberty and fail to acknowledge later that infatuation love is not true love and it should NOT remain consistent throughout the relationship. Failing to recognize that creates butterflies in our stomachs when it really starts to wane and we wrongly think that true love is waning, and therefore the relationship is failing.
Unless a social reform is happening in this post-post-modernist world we are attuned to do the same mistakes again and again defining romance, affair, love, affection wrongly while calling ourselves most civilized and progressive individuals of the lot.
