While I have been attracted to and gone out with a number of women, I've fallen, for lack of a better term, for only three.
The first was when I was still in secondary school/high school; unlike
some of my friends, I knew I had too many things on my plate, too many other goals to strive for. So we didn't pursue the relationship further. We both ended up in the States, and are still very good friends.
The second was when I was in college in the States. We then went off to different schools, me to Stanford for graduate school, she to Harvard for law school, persisted with the relationship for two more years, eventually realized that our relative youth and the stresses of our respective work habits would spell ruin for a long-distance relationship, and, fortunately, had the sense to call it off. And, once again, we still remain very good friends.
I became involved with the third several years later when I was still in graduate school, and then moved to Boston for my postdoc. Another long-distance relationship, but this time we both could see that it would work. She moved to Boston ultimately for one of her graduate programs and organization, and a year or so later we got married.
These three women were of different ethnicities and looked quite different from one another, so I would have to say that I don't necessarily have a particular "morph" that I am overly attracted to. That said, they do have certain core traits in common:
- They are all fiercely intelligent, with competitive/non-submissive natures and a passionate desire to excel.
- They are as devoted to their individual careers as I am to mine (I really couldn't see myself in a relationship with someone who wasn't as invested in their own goals as I was in say, biology).
- They are extremely literate and very verbal (won't be intimidated or shy away from any argument or debate), but can be diplomatic when needed.
- They were and are rational and practical when it came to making serious or difficult decisions.
- They have an appreciation and background in arts, music, and the humanities.
- They value family and community.
- They are inherently ethical and generous (they don't have that streak of selfishness that seems to accompany intelligence far too often nowadays).
I suppose these are my criteria for the type of women I have been interested in. And I have been fortunate in finding such women, and ultimately ending up happily married to one. I realize that this list might be a little different from the ones some of the others are presenting, but keep in mind that I am in my forties, and have been around the block a number of times.