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Originally Posted by mufi_02
ok on the topic itself -- I think this is a relevant and timely question. But I do not have any children yet and so I don't know how I will react.
is it choice or genetics?
There is no way to scientifically prove this. Unless genetic science identifies a certain gene and its trigger and primer. I am straight not by choice. I am straight and always had attraction for women. I never questioned myself why and how. It just naturally occurred to me as I reached puberty that I am attracted to woman. So I think being gay is similar to that. But I can't speak for them.
this brings us to the next point..
does natural inclination means it is right?
human beings are naturally inclined to many things. even on things that are sexual in nature, there is wide variety of kinks/fetishes or personal preferences. some people are aroused through sadistic/dominatrix styles. some are into couples and many more that I can't list due to PG restriction here. note that they are all between consenting adults. so is polygamy. on non sexual, a lot of human behaviors are also dictated by genes. so just because something is natural does not mean it is acceptable. I am not saying being gay isn't acceptable. just stating being natural doesn't equate to acceptable.
so what do I believe?
on a personal level, I do not discriminate against gay people. In fact, through my work, I volunteered and signed up against my local city mandate which allows businesses to refuse service to gay people. I was disturbed. Because I do not believe they should be discriminated because of their personal lives or whom they love.
with that being said, I do not agree with its practice. This is based on my personal faith.
so how do I reconcile the two?
we are all flawed. none of us are perfect. in my faith, this act is not allowed. but so isn't lying, cheating, corruption, taking advantage of others and so many other things. I am not the one to judge. if they are good person with a good heart in the eyes of Allah they who am I to judge them? I know plenty of people who prays and has marks on their forehead but still takes bribes and doesn't lost an opportunity to rob others.
sorry I had to write all that.
I won't escape gay community coz in the fear of crosshair of God. There are gays everywhere. If one need to escape "immoral acts" we should be more concerned about hypocrites, liars, murderers, cheaters in our society rather who loves whom.
in the end, I hope I will not be termed as a bigot and backward person just because I do not agree with the act. just like two consenting adults have the right to love who they want, so should some of us to not agree with the act.
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Just the way I feel..Wonderfully written Mufi.
Just do not understand why we have to flee in fear of God's wrath. We should not stay in foreign land then because gays are everywhere. Where do we go then? Back to Bangladesh? I can tell you this. There are many gay people in BD too. We just do not know about them because they are too afraid to come out of the closet and face social embargo. And we all know about those DhormoPran bokolom lunatics who are lurking around and will instantly cut off limbs without any hesitation once they do decide to come out. They are always in fear of getting labelled out.
I echo what brother Jadukor has said. Mind my own business and leave in peace. Oi betar cholon beka, oi beta arek betar shathe jay eshob na bhebe why not worry about us. Did we pray Fajr today? Did we pay zakat, did we feed someone today, Did we say nice things to our parents, Were we faithful to our wives, kind to our kids, neighbors. Was I a good human being today? We should worry about these first to be honest. And I am sure God's wrath will come to you if you are not a good human being. So be a good human first. And no..Hating a gay person or escaping a gay community does not make you a good human.
Having said all these, I do not know what I would do if my kids turn out to be gay. That would have been the ultimate hardship that I would have to go thru. Ya Allah, give me sabr and save me from hating anyone