How The Rajib Stole The Asia Cup
with apologies to Dr. Suess
Down in BC-ville
Liked to win the Cup a lot...
But the Rajib,
Who lived just North of Naranyanganj,
The Rajib hated Cup! The whole Asia Cup season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his  was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason,
His  or his shoes,
He stood there on Asia Cup, hating the fans,
Staring down from his house with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every fans down in BC-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their Hawkings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Final! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Cup from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the BC girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush on their joys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the BCites, nadim and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every fans down in BC, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together at Danshiri stall
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Rajib thought of the Who-Final-Sing
The more the Rajib thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for twirty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop the Cup from coming!
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Rajib Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Shahrukh's hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Shahrukh's wig
"All I need is a raison d'etre..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since reasons are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Rajib...?
No! The Rajib simply said,
"If I can't find a reason, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his fan Gopal. Then he took his red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle 'shaw
And he hitched up old Gopes.
Then the Rajib said, "Giddyap!"
And the 'shaw started down
Toward the screen where the fans
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their screens were dark. Quiet 'cense filled the air.
All the fans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first screen in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Rajib hissed
And he strolled to the crease, lackadaiscially with clsoed fist.
Then he strolled to the crease.
But if anyone could do it, then so could The Rajib.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the helmet loose
Where the little bcites all hung in a row.
"These runs," he grinned, "are the first things to run!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole screen, and he took every moment!
Poor guns! And no runs! Only a run! Run!
Just a sungle! Run a run! Popcorn! And plums!
And he flipped them the bird. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Flipped them the bird, one by one, on chorai links so many!
Then he slunk to the bathtub. He took the bc's feast!
He took the cup! He took the roast beast!
Why, that Rajib even took their last bowl of hashish!
He did the same thing
To the other BCites houses
Much too small
For the other Bcites wet mouths
It was quarter past dawn...
All the fans, still a-bed
All the fans, still a-snooze
When he picked up his bat,
Scrawled it to their screens! The runs! 'betweens!
The moments! And the joy! The single! The wins!
Ten thousand feet up! Up the side of Dhaka
He rode to the tiptop to run it!
"Pooh-pooh to the fans!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Cup is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the fans down in fans-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Rajib,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Rajib put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at fan-ville!
The Rajib popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in fan-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any Cup at all!
He HADN'T stopped win from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Rajib, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the dung,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without win! It came without cup!
"It came without six, fours or boundaries!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Rajib thought of something he hadn't before!
"Asia Cup," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Asia Cup...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in BC-ville they say
That the Rajibs small
Grew three that day!
And the minute his didn't feel quite so tight,
And he brought back the runs in local match on a run feast!
The Rajib carved the roast beast!