Prepare for/cope with loss

Zeeshan · #1 September 2, 2012, 03:54 PM

How can I prepare for or cope with family or friend loss? I am not alone at a stage where many of our parents, family members, elder friends would pass away. The thought just scares me. Not only will I miss them but the fact they may suffer from ajab.

iDumb · #2 September 2, 2012, 09:13 PM

tough question.

Electrequiem · #3 September 2, 2012, 09:14 PM

I don't think you can prepare. But after the fact, time will make everything okay.

Zeeshan · #4 September 2, 2012, 09:46 PM

I guess you can 'prepare' by spending more time with them with compassion and consciously trying not to hurt their feelings. Rest is upto God. I think Tibetans consider death as a sort of evolution but 90% of us view death as something negative. Perhaps it's neither; just part of life process.

Electrequiem · #5 September 2, 2012, 09:50 PM

Death of a close one sucks, no matter what. I remember once discussing immortality with some friends when we were high. I concluded that I don't want immortality because that would mean I'd have to witness the death of every single person I love.

BengaliPagol · #6 September 3, 2012, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Electrequiem
I remember once discussing immortality with some friends when we were high.

Braah what did ya smoke it thru? Bong, joint or blunt? Or did ya just eat it?

Anyways yeah time heals everything. But the question Zee put out is a difficult one to answer.

simon · #7 September 3, 2012, 06:44 AM

die before "they" die

like in hindi/bangla mubhiz a good wife will say "hey uporwala,amar shami'r agey tumi amake uthiye nio"

iDumb · #8 September 3, 2012, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simon
die before "they" die

like in hindi/bangla mubhiz a good wife will say "hey uporwala,amar shami'r agey tumi amake uthiye nio"

how is that a good wife in this context? zamai has to cope her death + cook and clean and take care of things for how long many years he lives... thats brutal. wife bein selfish like all girls are...even in fantasy movies...

simon · #9 September 3, 2012, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iDumb
how is that a good wife in this context? zamai has to cope her death + cook and clean and take care of things for how long many years he lives... thats brutal. wife bein selfish like all girls are...even in fantasy movies...

Hmm,U got some logic there

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Rifat · #10 September 3, 2012, 04:44 PM

Live every day of your life as if it is the last day in your life, Live every night of your life as if it is the last night you will ever experience. Stay content and appreciate yourself, family and friends, Alhamdulillah, Life tends to get easier this way.

Sohel · #11 September 4, 2012, 12:29 AM

There's no way to prepare for the loss of a loved one, especially someone from the immediate family, but one can take steps to cope with the loss when it happens.

What has helped me is first, the realization that things don't get better but they can get different and more manageable with effort. After my grandfathers, father and grandmothers died, I felt that a part of me died with them. Later I came to realize they also left a lot of themselves in me to nurture and celebrate.

My faith also helped during the grieving process. The Abrahamic view of the world is a dystopic one, and we're challenged to have faith in Akhera as the unseen expression of GOD's divine majesty and grace rather than only the divine truth and beauty of Duniya. Having such faith in what can only be known in one's uncluttered heart -- one must perpetually struggle to keep it that way -- generates the type of spiritual certainty that makes you feel that there is more. That certainty not only aids in the healing process, but also offers the opportunity to overcome one's fear of death.

Zeeshan · #12 September 5, 2012, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sohel
There's no way to prepare for the loss of a loved one, especially someone from the immediate family, but one can take steps to cope with the loss when it happens.

What has helped me is first, the realization that things don't get better but they can get different and more manageable with effort. After my grandfathers, father and grandmothers died, I felt that a part of me died with them. Later I came to realize they also left a lot of themselves in me to nurture and celebrate.

My faith also helped during the grieving process. The Abrahamic view of the world is a dystopic one, and we're challenged to have faith in Akhera as the unseen expression of GOD's divine majesty and grace rather than only the divine truth and beauty of Duniya. Having such faith in what can only be known in one's uncluttered heart -- one must perpetually struggle to keep it that way -- generates the type of spiritual certainty that makes you feel that there is more. That certainty not only aids in the healing process, but also offers the opportunity to overcome one's fear of death.

Thank you and everyone for the response.