50 Excuses By Mushfiqur Rahim for the Recent Fiasco.
50. It's okay. They boyz were still recovering from the hard days of fasting in Ramadan. We are a 100% Muslim team for T-20s, you have to understand.
49. It's fine, we lost, but we bonded well in the dressing room. The boyz are becoming good friends. Hooray!
48. Honestly, it's the pressure. The media wants us to do well every tournament. They are too unreasonable. The boyz hate the media!
47. Hey, we might've lost, but that doesn't mean we will keep our head down. The boyz will now enjoy themselves after going back to Bd after a long hard T-20 preparation.
46. Our nutrition was sub par. The boyz weren't having enough fish and so their vision dropped in the field under the floodlights.
45. On that note, was it just me or were the flood lights too dim? Some of the boyz told me this also.
44.Hey, we lost because I'm still learning as captain. Give me 4 more series, and you will be so impressed with my fielding placements.
43. No problem, they boyz won't let this poor performance affect them. We never do.
42. Positives, always! It's how I sleep at night.
41. Calm down, the boyz tried their best. We will laze it out and bank on Shakib again in the future. What are you going to do burn our houses? This isn't India, buddy.
40. You know, I read somewhere it takes 180 days for a team to adjust to a new coach. Give us time please.
39. The boyz were demoralized after we lost Neway as a sponsor. Even though most of us know nothing of how businesses work. Still!
38. The weather wasn't ideal for playing cricket in Sri Lanka. They boyz became melancholic in the field, the air smelled foreign.
37. We had a lack of pump up videos in the dressing room. I personally forgot to bring my "Braveheart" DVD.
36. With some of our less than flattering hair, we felt we needed a coach with an impeccable hairline. But we got Pybus.
35. We actually found it hard to communicate with our coach. The boyz didn't know what to call him. It was very awkward.
34. We simply gave up when Tamim got out. And why shouldn't we? He says we need him to win. And I as captain, endorse it fully!
33. Our Shafiul forgot his good luck bracelet.
32. Psss! Psss! Come close! Let me tell you something. It was that Ashraful. He's a bad omen. What can we do to get rid of him completely?
31. I actually found BC through twitter. After seeing some of us had our own threads dedicated to us, I grew too confident. I told the boyz to take it easy on New Zealand and Pakistan.
30. I'm sorry to say but we haven't been following our diets. I at least did my laps in the pool. Can't say the same about some of the boyz. Cough* Tamim cough*.
29. The boyz were distracted by the Iphone 5. Only Nasir had managed to get one in the team.
28. Hey,hey,hey, catches win matches. You take some, you drop some.
27. We were going to beat Pakistan. But then Afridi personally invited us to his new house warming party. Isn't he nice?
26. But her later cancelled on us. You know what? I believe some ball biting was involved in that match.
25. We might've lost, but hey I'm beginning to win my tosses. This a big plus for the future!
24. The boyz will stick together come hell or high water. If you are having expectation problems, I feel bad for ya nation, we've got 99 problems, but "optimism" ain't one.
23. Maybe God punished us for not doing enough to ban that movie made on the prophet. Oh wait, we played another Muslim nation. Oh, nvm. Oopisies!
22. Actually,my horoscope for both the match days said something bad was going to happen. I guess them astrologers don't mess around.
21. I was reading the teleprompter when I said reaching the super 8 was a realistic target. Not my words!
20. Lotus Sir forgot to bless us this time before this tourney. The boyz missed it big time.
19. EA Sports haven't made a cricket game in a long time. So I didn't have a simulation tool where I could practice setting the field.
18. Chill! We will get em in the next tourney. And if not, I will improve my excuse game by that time. So don't go loco.
17. Saqlain refused to teach me spin bowling. Hey, it's what I needed to increase my confidence and the guy just flat out refused!
16. The crowd was poor. They only cheered every boundary. Didn't cheer any of our singles. They boyz were mystified.
15. The boyz were not in a good presence of mind. We thought the Bangladesh Tigers might've been mistaken for the Tamil Tigers. Not safe, I tell you, not safe.
14. Abul's missed catch was excusable. He is only starting. Remember the 100's of catches I dropped when I first started out as the national WK?
13. I was only made aware of Ziaur Rahman's inclusion in the team before the coin toss. Who is this guy? Well better not run my mouth too much, I'm from Bogra after all. It's a miracle how I'm the captain under this regime to begin with.
12. They boyz were mad about flying Biman. Really. True story.
11. The boyz couldn't get a good cup of Tea. Ceylon Tea tastes different.
10. Tamim forgot his pack of Benson and was very moody throughout the whole series.
9. The boyz were uncomfortable playing in stadium called Pallekele, not knowing what it meant.
8. My captaincy suffered as I packed a book titled " The game of cricket" in my duffel bag, hoping to read it. It turned out to be a book on the mating rituals of crickets. With big blow up pictures and all.
7. The green jerseyed Pakis camouflaged very well with the ground. We couldn't see them. Wait, we wear green too. Oh nvm.
6.Well.......Kiwis fly. Tigers don't. Hehe. Wait, I'm just receiving this on my ear piece. Oh, well this is embarrassing. Well I never claimed to be smart.
5. The boyz's spirit was destroyed my McCullum. To the point where they had to drink spirit to get over it!
4. Jamie Siddons called to wish us luck before match day. They boyz became emotional.
3. The boyz were threatened to be replaced with the Dhaka Warriors after the first game. They became sad.
2. The boyz are happy for Shakib. The boyz have awesome skills when it comes to appreciating.
1. You know what? Boyz will be boyz.
His excellency, Shere Bangla, descendent of Tipu Sultan, the Uniter of the Two Bengals, the Wily Bengali, the prince of all things cool, I present you Roey Haque the 1st.