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  #1  
Old March 5, 2018, 03:17 PM
Roey Haque's Avatar
Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
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Default BCB Internal Memo Excerpt Leaked!

MEMO

Dear fellow BCB Directors,

I would like to congratulate you on retaining your positions in the board. You have become richer for it. Through selling tickets on the black market, awarding shady sponsorships which give us money under the table and by giving ourselves generous salaries by stealing the tax payer's money, yes we have done a great job. Never mind that our int. cricketers have the second lowest base salaries among all other full members. That is fine, they will manage, plus they have many leagues anyway, where they can add to their income. But what is paramount is we, the band of brothers forever loyal to the netri, continue to enrich our pockets at the expense of the fans. Speaking of them, that is my next point, let them be happy with current crop of raggedy washed up bunch. We have enough gullible fools who believe we are still improving as a team with what we have. No rush, let the decline be slow, the fans are happy enough to follow their favorite stars on Instagram. They will remain in the national side, they will get call ups in many glorious t20 leagues such as PSL, and they will post pics on Snapchat to keep the fans happy. It doesn’t matter if we win or lose. We don’t care about performances, all we care about is building the brand of Bd cricket, the mediocre politically infested team, which will get slowly phased out. If need be, we will make our money in tier 2 of ICC. Everything is going to plan. Let us take this moment to reflect on our success. Our two plants inside the team, Mushfiqur and Mahmadullah have maintained the charade very well. Sabotaging all wining mentality and rendering the locker room a cheap joke. Mushfiqur and his lackey have succeeded with their corniest of corny might. Our propaganda of pushing SBCS as a decent stadium has also worked! It really is amazing how fans will believe anything. Infrastructure is poor, which we will again profit from by rebuilding. We shall shortchange them on the next coach as well. As you all know, we are currently grooming our future plants who will sabotage the team for years to come. Things have worked out so well, we keep the team down by backing charlatan agents within, and those charlatans go on to have their own fans.

My friends, let us now rejoice in the fall of Bd cricket. Salut.


*Satire.But so was 1984.
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  #2  
Old March 5, 2018, 03:20 PM
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aklemalp aklemalp is offline
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A John Grisham-eqsue worthy story.
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  #3  
Old March 5, 2018, 03:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aklemalp
A John Grisham-eqsue worthy story.

They are a really F'd up bunch. You should be able to feel the evil from where you are.
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  #4  
Old March 5, 2018, 04:32 PM
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i_am_ringo i_am_ringo is offline
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This is good but you need to keep going down the rabbit hole.

If they are enriching themselves, and the players are happy collecting paychecks globally...

Was the goal ever anything other than the money?

Did the BCB ever release a mission statement about creating a winning team?

Does the BCB classify its cricket games as a national interest or entertainment interest?

Is the BCB obligated to answer to the public as a tax funded organization?

Is the selection process for national team clear to the public or potential players?

Does the BCB ever have to release conflict of interest info?

How many BCB board positions are not politically or financially influenced?

You know the answers don’t you? We are willing dupes so let’s be good dupes and enjoy the show
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  #5  
Old March 5, 2018, 07:11 PM
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I don't get it. How is this satire? Looks like copy/paste from BCBs 10 year plan.
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  #6  
Old March 5, 2018, 10:23 PM
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Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
This is good but you need to keep going down the rabbit hole.
I am trying, but it is so evil. But yes, I am always on the quest for the truth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
If they are enriching themselves, and the players are happy collecting paychecks globally...

Was the goal ever anything other than the money?
No, money was the only goal. But not the great American capitalistic way of earning it. No, the aim was to stuff pockets at the expense of market failure. So the system is not efficient, but a few get wealthy. A very special blend of one party economics.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
Did the BCB ever release a mission statement about creating a winning team?
Not to my knowledge. No.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
Does the BCB classify its cricket games as a national interest or entertainment interest?
Entertainment. They have conducted many focus groups on this. Bd public is at that stage where it is cool to be popular, winning is not a prerequisite. No firm principles to stand on, where you commit to winning.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
Is the BCB obligated to answer to the public as a tax funded organization?
Yes, but they won't. If it is really entertainment we are after, we can easily use the money to push Bd music artists to make them int. superstars. But the formula of the cricket national team charade works so well for them, they will even hold back other sports at the moment just to milk this one cow dry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
Is the selection process for national team clear to the public or potential players?
This one, I don't care so much about. Teams have the right to not divulge selection criteria. But I would not be shocked if bribes were taken to let players in. After all, once you are in, you build a brand for yourself, win or lose. So the incentive is there for pay to play.

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_ringo
How many BCB board positions are not politically or financially influenced?
Sadly, none. I personally know one man who turned down the offer. God bless his soul.
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  #7  
Old March 6, 2018, 04:28 PM
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Roye miah Momo leak korey dilo eiber..
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  #8  
Old March 9, 2018, 07:03 AM
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Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
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I just so happened to find another excerpt of the ongoing memo that is updated and circulated on private BCB email server....

My Dear Fellow BCB Board Directors,

Good job on another defeat today. I say reduce the win quota to just 1 every 6 months. That will give those idiot fans something to cheer for. The two plants Mushfiqur and Mahmadullah have wonderfully sabotaged any chances of victory just as we had told them to do so. No good Walsh is no good as usual. Great job in making him an interim coach. We are so lucky to have gullible fans who would accept a bowling coach as the head coach. Lucky we make our money in Bd, in India we could not get away with such highway robbery in sports management. Would have to deal with some burnt houses. If we are going to get roasted for our sins, might as well be in hell, not on this earth where we cheat the public. I am thinking we should make Mahmadullah the captain in ALL formats. He is the best candidate to give us our desired 1 win every 6 months quota from here on. If he mistakenly by the slimmest of slim chances grows some leadership qualities, we still have the dependable and totally world class Mushfiqur to fall back on. He will never let us down. But netri did say we would need some token wins between October and December this year as the elections are up. To boost the moral of the people. No worries, we will plan a series vs Zimbabwe. Fans will love it. And if they don't, we will hire social media gurus for our two plants. We can at least always count on the fans to gobble up on player favoritism over performance.

*Satire. But so was 1984.
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  #9  
Old March 9, 2018, 07:09 AM
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Stick to leaking memos, please don't leak anything else, don't want to be scarred for life.
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  #10  
Old March 9, 2018, 01:16 PM
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^ But the emails may get darker. It's ok though, don't be scarred. Face the truth. Take the red pill. The truth may shock you, but it does not deceive you.
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  #11  
Old March 9, 2018, 06:12 PM
DinRaat. DinRaat. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roey Haque
^ But the emails may get darker. It's ok though, don't be scarred. Face the truth. Take the red pill. The truth may shock you, but it does not deceive you.
Bro its not the emails I'm worried about.
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  #12  
Old March 9, 2018, 09:39 PM
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I came to Roey's thread and accidentally took a leak.
Roey, please uncle, forgive me...I saw BCB + Leak written...ebar aar samlatey parini...amar puro bladder empty hisoo soo soo chole elo!
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  #13  
Old March 10, 2018, 05:40 AM
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^Haha. I hope you take this as seriously as you take Rohingyas.
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  #14  
Old March 10, 2018, 12:31 PM
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Mushfik just leaked Roey's lungi in the media
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  #15  
Old March 10, 2018, 12:45 PM
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Congratulations Roey!
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  #16  
Old March 10, 2018, 12:50 PM
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Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
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Oh, you think this somehow detracts from my points. Just hold on. I am working now, on a Saturday. Before I leave, I will leak the latest email I caught from BCB's server. You will see.
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  #17  
Old March 10, 2018, 12:53 PM
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bujhee kom bujhee kom is offline
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Roey, Tumi kothai?
Ebar tumi bari firey esho!
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  #18  
Old March 20, 2018, 09:40 PM
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Another one.....

This one is a phone conversation I recorded from a cross connection...by luck. The line gets cut in the end. I got it transcribed. Here

Unknown BCB Director 1: Greetings

Unknown BCB Director 2: Hello, sir, so good to hear from you.

Unknown BCB Director 1: Cut the bullshit! That was close, we were very close going over our 1 win per 6 months win quota. In fact we did! We won two! That means no more wins till the end of the year. How do we ensure this now?

Unknown BCB Director 2: What are you talking about sir? We still have our culture destroyers Rahim and Riyad in the team. The blind squirrels found their nuts, no more will this happen for any other series! Plus, any new boys we bring in will be demotivated by the lame culture created by those two in the locker room. I thought this was a strategy we were happy with?

Unknown BCB Director 1: Yes, but don't you remember the election is coming up this year? The netri wants wins to keep the nation's morale high.

Unknown BCB Director 2: That is manageable sir, don't we play Zimbawe?

Unknown BCB Director 1: But then that is too many wins. Give these pathetic fans what they deserve, they will keep switching on their TVs, and support the team no matter the situation! Set the progress back by 20 years, who cares as long as we run the charade with the current core that we got?

Unknown BCB Director 2: You make a good point sir. People always line up for blocks to buy tickets legally! Hehehehe. And the ones who use their phones see them sold out even before they can push the button on the app..

Unknown BCB Director 1:Of course, that has to continue, because we need our money by selling it to the black market first upfront, I don't give a rat's behind if then those tickets end up getting sold or not, I could not care less if the stadium is full or not

Unknown BCB Director 2: Fans think Mirpur stadium is the best in South Asia anyway, hehehe

Unknown BCB Director 1: Exactly, that is the point. Complacency. Feed them these little lies, they will be happy, let's continue to run our operations, and let's just explain to the netri, that fans will still support our sorry bunch even if they get whitewashed by Zim.

Unknowns BCB director 2: Big risk, sir, how do you know that?

Unknown BCB director 1: Don't worry, they will turn on their own, the majority will be on the case of the minority who just want to see their team do better, I have seen this get played out in places...actually it's a next level operation that we are working on, keep the fans squabbling...while we further set progress back of this team

Unknown BCB director 2:
I agree sir, let's just play the same 11 from the last t20 in the 2019 world cup

Unknown BCB director 1:
Good, I like the sound of that. But for my sake, throw in Mashrafe in there, all right? Even if he rolls on to the ground in a wheelchair, Mash means emotional value for fans, they will eat it up till end of time...got it?

Unknown BCB Director 2: Got it, so you will speak to netri about regressing our team further vs Zim later this year?

Unknown BCB director 1: Will do, now tell me...

LINE CUT


*Satire. But so was 1984.
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