How to identify an Indian ( maybe sometimes a Bangladeshi or Pakistani too! )?!!

[kalpurush]

How to identify an Indian ( maybe sometimes a Bangladeshi or Pakistani too! )?!!

Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed' .

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

You use plastic to cover anything new in your house, whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet, or new couch.

Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.

You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many number of bowls as possible.

Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.(And they prefer it that way).

You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are travelling by bus, train or plane.

If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover.

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

All your Tupperware is stained with food colour.

You have drinking glasses made of steel.

You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

[Tigers_eye]

Originally Posted by kalpurush
How to identify an Indian ( maybe sometimes a Bangladeshi or Pakistani too! )?!!

Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes. I have no problem with that. Love all three things mentioned.

You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil. The Lord dislike the person who wastes!!

You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport. Obviously no longer possible because of the airline restrictions nowadays!!

You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal. Not me!!

You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp. The Lord dislike the person who wastes!!

You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts. The Lord dislike the person who wastes!! Unwanted, not needed, table laps, clocks etc. have no use and wastage of space in the storage. Let the newly weds and others use them for a change.

You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.) Not Applicable!!

All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names. Not Applicable!!

You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed' . Not me!!

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house. See above!!

You load up the family car with as many people as possible. repeat above.

You use plastic to cover anything new in your house, whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet, or new couch. Only remote controls!!

Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think. Not Applicable!!

You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen. Not Applicable!!

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table. No a Cotton cloth with transparent plastic over it.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage. The Lord dislike the person who wastes!!

You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many number of bowls as possible. How else one preserves them? All in one bowl?

Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff ) This is a must. We use the most number of spices. Duh!!

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). Not me!!

You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker. Have both!!

You fight over who pays the dinner bill. In BD, yes!! Here? don't go to the restaurants that much. If we go the host pays the bills (prearranged).

You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.(And they prefer it that way). Correct!! May be the parents stays with us is a better statement??

You don't use measuring cups when cooking. One word: Experts!!

You never learnt how to stand in a queue. Not me!!

You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are travelling by bus, train or plane. 5 is a too little number!! More like 15.

If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light. Do not backbite!!

Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover. No dollar coins!!

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. Meal is the most important act of your life.

You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty. Respect elders!!

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin. May be!!

Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls. Not hearing well will make one speak louder. The connection from the other end is still bad.

You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty. So true!! Who cleans the dust every single day?

It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people. Not applicable.

All your Tupperware is stained with food colour. Not applicable.

You have drinking glasses made of steel. Not applicable.

You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping. Not applicable. I prefer fixed price.

Those are my answers.

[Rabz]

Its kinda old joke, but thanks anyway Obayed bhai.

[Orpheus]

1. You look at the banglacricket banner and you immediately identify your childhood with the picture but in reality - you probably grew up drinking ovaltine milk and don't even know how to knot a lungi if your life depended on it.

2. You post your strategic plan about anything (grounds, facilities, game plan, salaries, domestic structures) in hopes that BCB officials are reading. In reality, no body give the f*** about your thoughts. But at one point in future, when one of your idea coincides with something BCB official implement - you immediately take credit for it and curse BCB for not giving you credit.

3. You only post in Bangladesh cricket because you wanna show your love for cricket but at the same time you wanna show you don't have time for other discussions. But in reality, if you were that bz, you wouldn't be following cricket

4. You only post in Forget Cricket because you pretend there is nothing interesting going on in BD cricket. You know everything already. But in reality, you dont know anthing about cricket.

5. You post both in "BD cricket", "forget cricket" and occasionally in other sections because think you know it all. But in reality, you can't win any arguments with your wife, so you come here to argue with other members to feel superior. That's probably the reson you spend more time here than you spend time with your significant others


beshi likhchi.. will shorten next time.

[AsifTheManRahman]

It's not that complex.

Indians: They have the veggie-eating look.
Bangladeshis: Got the rice-eating look.
Pakistanis: Fairer and more of a rough-and-tough meat eating look.
Sri Lankans: Darker and less hair.

[Sovik]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
1. You look at the banglacricket banner and you immediately identify your childhood with the picture but in reality - you probably grew up drinking ovaltine milk and don't even know how to knot a lungi if your life depended on it.

i still wear lungi, its the most comfortable piece of cloth ever invented

[Tigers_eye]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
...
5. You post both in "BD cricket", "forget cricket" and occasionally in other sections because think you know it all. But in reality, you can't win any arguments with your wife, so you come here to argue with other members to feel superior. That's probably the reson you spend more time here than you spend time with your significant others...

If you have installed a bug in my house, you must remove them ASAP. A court order will follow!! Jottoshob!!

[akabir77]

You know you r from Asia when you have time to write these essay type post on how to identify an Asian...

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by sovik
i still wear lungi, its the most comfortable piece of cloth ever invented

I agree it's comfortable. Everytime I go to bed with a lungi, I wake up with nothing on searching for that single piece of cloth that will save you dignity. Since I sleep in the living room (I am a poor bengali), I was forced to abandon wearing the lungi

So in a way, I was forced to give up lungi, didn't give it up by choice. You are a brave man sovik.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
If you have installed a bug in my house, you must remove them ASAP.

No Way man... Who is gonna fulfill my voyeur appetite you sexy tiger you...

[AsifTheManRahman]

How to identify a Bangladeshi:

[sbsash]

I agree with some of the things.

[AsifTheManRahman]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I agree it's comfortable. Everytime I go to bed with a lungi, I wake up with nothing on searching for that single piece of cloth that will save you dignity. Since I sleep in the living room (I am a poor bengali), I was forced to abandon wearing the lungi

So in a way, I was forced to give up lungi, didn't give it up by choice. You are a brave man sovik.

Sovik, Oepheus isn't lying. Not this time. Here's the whole story (yeah, he can sing too): http://www.freewebtown.com/ranganbd/...%20Oshohai.mp3

And if you thought I was lying about that being Orphy's voice, note the color of the lungi. Goes very well with his personality.

[sunny747]

i can tell Indians from miles a way from their strong odor.

[kalpurush]

Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
Those are my answers.

I guess you are a Bangladeshi then!

[kalpurush]

চেপে যান ভাই...!

Originally Posted by Rabz
Its kinda old joke, but thanks anyway Obayed bhai.

[kalpurush]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
1. You look at the banglacricket banner and you immediately identify your childhood with the picture but in reality - you probably grew up drinking ovaltine milk and don't even know how to knot a lungi if your life depended on it.

2. You post your strategic plan about anything (grounds, facilities, game plan, salaries, domestic structures) in hopes that BCB officials are reading. In reality, no body give the f*** about your thoughts. But at one point in future, when one of your idea coincides with something BCB official implement - you immediately take credit for it and curse BCB for not giving you credit.

3. You only post in Bangladesh cricket because you wanna show your love for cricket but at the same time you wanna show you don't have time for other discussions. But in reality, if you were that bz, you wouldn't be following cricket

4. You only post in Forget Cricket because you pretend there is nothing interesting going on in BD cricket. You know everything already. But in reality, you dont know anthing about cricket.

5. You post both in "BD cricket", "forget cricket" and occasionally in other sections because think you know it all. But in reality, you can't win any arguments with your wife, so you come here to argue with other members to feel superior. That's probably the reson you spend more time here than you spend time with your significant others

Way to go, Orphy!

[tonoy]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
1. You look at the banglacricket banner and you immediately identify your childhood with the picture but in reality - you probably grew up drinking ovaltine milk and don't even know how to knot a lungi if your life depended on it.

Ovaltine pai ni. shudho gorom horlicks petam.

[kalpurush]

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
It's not that complex.

Indians: They have the veggie-eating look.
Bangladeshis: Got the rice-eating look.
Pakistanis: Fairer and more of a rough-and-tough meat eating look.
Sri Lankans: Darker and less hair.

vegi-eating look...!


Next:...coming soon...rice-eating look...

[kalpurush]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I agree it's comfortable. Everytime I go to bed with a lungi, I wake up with nothing on searching for that single piece of cloth that will save you dignity. Since I sleep in the living room (I am a poor bengali), I was forced to abandon wearing the lungi

So in a way, I was forced to give up lungi, didn't give it up by choice. You are a brave man sovik.

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
Sovik, Oepheus isn't lying. Not this time. Here's the whole story (yeah, he can sing too): http://www.freewebtown.com/ranganbd/...%20Oshohai.mp3

And if you thought I was lying about that being Orphy's voice, note the color of the lungi. Goes very well with his personality.

haha...Asif bhai...simply great!

[Rabz]

Top post Orphy (#4).

Roton-e- roton cheney.

[Nocturnal]

মজার সূতা - এখনও হাসতেছি

[BD-Shardul]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
1. You look at the banglacricket banner and you immediately identify your childhood with the picture but in reality - you probably grew up drinking ovaltine milk and don't even know how to knot a lungi if your life depended on it.

2. You post your strategic plan about anything (grounds, facilities, game plan, salaries, domestic structures) in hopes that BCB officials are reading. In reality, no body give the f*** about your thoughts. But at one point in future, when one of your idea coincides with something BCB official implement - you immediately take credit for it and curse BCB for not giving you credit.

3. You only post in Bangladesh cricket because you wanna show your love for cricket but at the same time you wanna show you don't have time for other discussions. But in reality, if you were that bz, you wouldn't be following cricket

4. You only post in Forget Cricket because you pretend there is nothing interesting going on in BD cricket. You know everything already. But in reality, you dont know anthing about cricket.

5. You post both in "BD cricket", "forget cricket" and occasionally in other sections because think you know it all. But in reality, you can't win any arguments with your wife, so you come here to argue with other members to feel superior. That's probably the reson you spend more time here than you spend time with your significant others


beshi likhchi.. will shorten next time.

[Sovik]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I agree it's comfortable. Everytime I go to bed with a lungi, I wake up with nothing on searching for that single piece of cloth that will save you dignity. Since I sleep in the living room (I am a poor bengali), I was forced to abandon wearing the lungi

So in a way, I was forced to give up lungi, didn't give it up by choice. You are a brave man sovik.

I don't think i will be able to give up.

[Sohel]

They say "Wiktri", we (except Ata!) say "BHiktori".

They say "Viket", we say "Uiket".

They say "Wodafon", we say "Bhodaphon".