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  #151  
Old June 13, 2019, 03:08 PM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Success is content and fulfillment.
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  #152  
Old June 13, 2019, 10:08 PM
One World One World is offline
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If I can get past my procrastination and start hitting the gym regularly again, once I have that six pack I may consider me as a successful being, till then I remain an unsuccessful and useless individual.
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  #153  
Old June 13, 2019, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mufi_02
I am also unsuccessful.

Having a decent job and ability to pay off bills and other necessities in life and 1-2 vacations/year in exotic places CAN'T be the definition of success.

It has to the much much more than that.
OTOH you get to take vacations for 2 weeks of the year to an exotic place where most people barely make ends meet. then u go back to your cozy house and cushy job while they continue to struggle. the world is very unfair to alot of good people.
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  #154  
Old June 14, 2019, 09:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankees
OTOH you get to take vacations for 2 weeks of the year to an exotic place where most people barely make ends meet. then u go back to your cozy house and cushy job while they continue to struggle. the world is very unfair to alot of good people.
being successful and having all needs made is not the same thing. I may be wrong but that's the way I interpret success.

as zee said, success is content and fulfillment. Having a decent job and disposable income is not contentment and fulfillment in my book.

have you seen fight club or office space? the characters are quite comfortable. they buy things (in fight club) just to be happy. but they are not content.
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  #155  
Old June 14, 2019, 09:28 AM
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Jadukor Jadukor is offline
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Definition of Success will vary from one person to another. It would depend on your life goals. Having a cushy job and having a nice vacation time could define success to some people. For others making a billion dollar could mean success. It all depends on how you define it for yourself
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  #156  
Old June 14, 2019, 10:05 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Yeah here is the thing..

You can live frugally like homeless person spending very little, but if you have no mental peace, and ergo no contentment or fulfillment, I am unsure as to how that is success.

Similarly, you can be a billionaire and have an angel's soul and a life of love, harmony and joy (Oprah, Gates.. lol) and I think that is success.

Ultimately it's not about the money. Wealth is neither good nor bad.

I said that I envy Isam's life of doing things he love, or say Athar or Shamim. But the novelty wears off. So the key is to eke out that juicy feelings of peace and contentment every single day and win the battle as Joe Rogan said.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drmyqSYuIME

I have given this topic enough thought having suffered from mental illness. Because it FORCED me to think and ask: What is happiness?

I realized when I used to rate my days - I know cheesy- from 1 to 10 to quantify into a metric system, I found best days were the ones which were not when I was eating biryani non stop in golden temple palace, but when things....just clicked. I got into a flow state.

And you don't need money for that. Money is a byproduct of happy people, but hardly other side. You may see all those rich stock brokers whose end game is happiness via money, but that is completely backwards.

Having blasted through tons of New Age material... one thing I know to be of certain: God rewards those who are happy and grateful.

So a perfect day for me would be spending within my daily allowance with weed, caffeinated energy drink, then going on to run, then write for an hour or so, watch some cricket, watch --- lol, watch some comedy materials on youtube, take mom to doctor's or grocer, drive and listen to favorite electronic music, etc.

I am not doing anything extraordinary per se or changing the world, but KAIZEN. It's not WHAT I do, but HOW I do.

Mufi would enjoy this next Zen tale:

A master once pointed to two students that the roof is leaking after rain. One student brought a bucket and placed it under while another went and brought a sieve. The master praised the latter student.

LOL!
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  #157  
Old June 14, 2019, 10:15 AM
One World One World is offline
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KAIZEN that word is like whole is greater than the aggregated parts. But, it has little to do for individual success. Rather achieving that flow level is definitely a success, like sometimes when I play guitar and after few minutes almost everything surrounding get blocked, the only thing left between me and my fingers is Music which my brain constantly guides through without any barricade.
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  #158  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mufi_02
being successful and having all needs made is not the same thing. I may be wrong but that's the way I interpret success.

as zee said, success is content and fulfillment. Having a decent job and disposable income is not contentment and fulfillment in my book.

have you seen fight club or office space? the characters are quite comfortable. they buy things (in fight club) just to be happy. but they are not content.
Bro I was just trying to make u feel better. But u said it yourself, it's all a matter of how YOU define success.

Me, I'm never satisfied. That's both my biggest flaw and my greatest motivation. But I also know how lucky I am, all things considered. I was lucky to have a dad who immigrated to the US and worked all kinds of sh*tty jobs to give me the opportunities my cousins in BD never had.

Success has alot to do with circumstances. And very few people seem to acknowledge that.
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  #159  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:00 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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One World, I don't know the depth in Japanese, but I used it interchangeably for 'daily progress' or say, 'everyday ritual'.
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  #160  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:01 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankees
Bro I was just trying to make u feel better. But u said it yourself, it's all a matter of how YOU define success.

Me, I'm never satisfied. That's both my biggest flaw and my greatest motivation. But I also know how lucky I am, all things considered. I was lucky to have a dad who immigrated to the US and worked all kinds of sh*tty jobs to give me the opportunities my cousins in BD never had.

Success has alot to do with circumstances. And very few people seem to acknowledge that.
Have you tried rhino pills?
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  #161  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:15 AM
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mufi_02 mufi_02 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankees
Bro I was just trying to make u feel better. But u said it yourself, it's all a matter of how YOU define success.

Me, I'm never satisfied. That's both my biggest flaw and my greatest motivation. But I also know how lucky I am, all things considered. I was lucky to have a dad who immigrated to the US and worked all kinds of sh*tty jobs to give me the opportunities my cousins in BD never had.

Success has alot to do with circumstances. And very few people seem to acknowledge that.
I was thinking of 'success' in the context of this platform. I assume most of us here have a decent middle class life and not struggling to make ends meet. That was the generalization. In Maslow's hierarchy, we have achieved the basic needs.

Of course we are better off than the most of the people in the world who barely have enough.

When I was younger, I wanted a certain career in a specified industry. I have achieved that but now I realize it is quiet meaningless. I am just another cog in the corporate America like million others. I am indispensable.

Now I see success as having meaningful relationships. With my mother, siblings, friends, and of course significant other.
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  #162  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeshan
Have you tried rhino pills?
O Allah ei chele ta ki bole? Fazil. Toba Toba
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  #163  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mufi_02
I was thinking of 'success' in the context of this platform. I assume most of us here have a decent middle class life and not struggling to make ends meet. That was the generalization. In Maslow's hierarchy, we have achieved the basic needs.

Of course we are better off than the most of the people in the world who barely have enough.

When I was younger, I wanted a certain career in a specified industry. I have achieved that but now I realize it is quiet meaningless. I am just another cog in the corporate America like million others. I am indispensable.

Now I see success as having meaningful relationships. With my mother, siblings, friends, and of course significant other.
I think you mean that you are dispensable. Nothing worse that being a cog.

I think we both started off in the same career path. I decided to break away from it, and you haven't. That's not your fault, I don't know your personal circumstances. But u do have the ability to do something about it. Am I right? So what's stopping you? And if the answer is due to supporting your family, then youve answered your own question.

And yes, most of us here are better off than most. Ffs, we can leisurely follow BD cricket. And most of us live outside of BD. But don't let this forum let you down. People tend to exaggerate. Represent their best self and all that jazz.
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  #164  
Old June 14, 2019, 11:54 AM
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mufi_02 mufi_02 is offline
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^yeah dispensable. I meant to say I am NOT indispensable. You know what I mean lol.

Our ambitions and hopes keeps on evolving. I thought certain things would make me happy. But turns out it didn't. I chased after them and in that process I have given up things that I can't get back now. Naturally I have more wealth now than let's say 5-6 years ago as a fresh grad out of college. I was just broke. But I feel I was more happy then.
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  #165  
Old June 14, 2019, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by One World
That is a very generic information. Can you elaborate further? It is very hard to measure such an abstract element.
I just read the youngest brother of a top celebrity in BD just commit suicide. He had job, side business, wife and kid, another kid on the way. Still dissatisfied.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
Open up. What seems to be the problem? Don't want to discuss? Then PM me. May be, with the grace of our Creator, you may feel better of yourself. By any chance, do you know anyone who has a worse situation than you?
Naww you guys are sweet. I was really just here to troll, but considering the rather serious responses, I think that would be deemed as disparaging your genuine efforts.

I think you're all top blokes for looking out for each other. Please continue.
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  #166  
Old June 14, 2019, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mufi_02
Now I see success as having meaningful relationships. With my mother, siblings, friends, and of course significant other.
Well said mufi. Btw I forgot if I ever congratulated you or not but congratulations on your new journey. May Allah bless you with more happiness and success .
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  #167  
Old June 15, 2019, 08:25 PM
One World One World is offline
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Off topic, but mufi is your significant other from Sylhet region?
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  #168  
Old June 16, 2019, 04:45 AM
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Tiger49 Tiger49 is offline
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I think being a ''winner'' and the concept of succsess is something very very subjective, it's all a matter of point of view. For example from my family's point of view succsess means having a good job, making lots of money and stuff. But what am I going to do with all these money, do I want to make investments, travel and see the world, make good deeds? So according to this the inventor of polio vaccine Jonas Salk was an unsuccsessful man because he denied to take patent of the vaccine, Marry Currie wasted her life in this laboratory, trying to make something useful for the next generations, can you say she was not succsessful? I don't have such outstanding ideals, I don't have desire and the skills to achieve such success but I have my own point of view: I wanna improve myself and get more experience in life. Recently I decided to sell my house and look for a hotel for sale in Costa del Sol to have more experience in life and see a different place in the world, make a little difference at least. My family thinks it's a big waste of money even if the property prices in Costa del Sol not so expensive, offering high yield in the future and totally safe for investors but I don't care about the money in the first place. I believe I can make something better with my life than being stuck in this damn city and wait for my death. Sorry for the long and depressing post, I just wanted to pour out.
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  #169  
Old June 16, 2019, 06:56 AM
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Shingara Shingara is offline
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I can have a shingara whenever I want. I can afford one.

My life is complete.

I am successful.
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  #170  
Old June 16, 2019, 08:22 AM
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mufi_02 mufi_02 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by One World
Off topic, but mufi is your significant other from Sylhet region?
Haha no. I think I’m banned from Sylhet region.

On topic, if you are happy then you are successful. Money will never be enough. In my short career, I’ve had offers for higher salaried roles. But I didn’t like the team or the role.
I’m not saying I absolutely love my current position but there was something more than money that kept me here. I get to learn new things and challenge different ideas. It makes the role somewhat interesting.

Success is a relative word. Aus/India will say they had a unsuccessful WC campaign if they don’t win the cup. Mash will say we had a successful campaign if we reach semis.
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  #171  
Old June 16, 2019, 08:38 AM
One World One World is offline
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Elon Musk says I cannot go to Mars whenever I want even if I can afford it. My life remains both unsuccessful and incomplete.
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  #172  
Old June 21, 2019, 10:26 PM
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Yasin. Yasin. is offline
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My father passed away four months back.

I have difficulty in opening up to people. Alhumdulillah I do get along with a lot of people but I feel that i just on the surface level.

Just turned 30, and looking back it seems like life was just one thing after another. School, University, Job, Get married, Child -- I don't have anything to complain about. Comparing my life to dads, would show me to be an entitled ungrateful person. He has risen from poverty and has done enough for his family and for his extended family and for strangers.

I have a very good and more important meaningful job, extremely supportive family -- but I still feel lost. As if life is meaningless.

Not saying religion is the solution -- but yes I have veered away from religion, and was more content when I had 'deen' in my life.

Just blabbering rubbish here -- may Allah make it easy for me.
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  #173  
Old June 21, 2019, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by One World
Off topic, but mufi is your significant other from Sylhet region?
Caught mufi red handed. Bou er kase mar kheye aikhane ese Sylhet er durnam kore
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  #174  
Old June 21, 2019, 10:48 PM
One World One World is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasin.
My father passed away four months back.

I have difficulty in opening up to people. Alhumdulillah I do get along with a lot of people but I feel that i just on the surface level.

Just turned 30, and looking back it seems like life was just one thing after another. School, University, Job, Get married, Child -- I don't have anything to complain about. Comparing my life to dads, would show me to be an entitled ungrateful person. He has risen from poverty and has done enough for his family and for his extended family and for strangers.

I have a very good and more important meaningful job, extremely supportive family -- but I still feel lost. As if life is meaningless.

Not saying religion is the solution -- but yes I have veered away from religion, and was more content when I had 'deen' in my life.

Just blabbering rubbish here -- may Allah make it easy for me.

Sorry for your loss. I am already old and glad both my parents still doing fine although I wish they were with me here in US but knowing that they are well and good brings a profound joy definitely.

Pray as much as you can as it seems you have that pious heart inside which is actually a great asset to carry.

Also, I was reading about inner voices today. It concludes that everybody has 5 voices with 1 prominent while the other 4 can also arise on occasions, depending on the social interaction. Sometimes we need to seek answer within ourself? Am I a nurturer or a guardian type? Am I creative or a pioneer? Or do I just enjoy taking the role of a connector? Each voice can bring lots of disappointment. A guardian voice can experience grief from all the changes in surrounding. The overwhelming effect of secular movement, non-believers, gay marriage, progressive thinking, interfaith sessions can tumble the world of a guardian. A nurturer can become hopeless by experiencing the plans he nurtured, an idea, a child, a community etc. to turn to a different direction largely away from expectation. Creative voice can be very frustrated from 200th take of a scene of the episode or the 30th failed attempt of research data collection. A pioneer can be disappointed from the defeat in local election after all those campaign expenses and promises.

Even a believer can become totally hopeless after finding all the prayers could not stop the death from cancer of a beloved one.

The only way to soothe yourself is to finding an inferior example of a human being who is going through or went through much more pain and trouble than whatever hot water you slipped into.
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  #175  
Old June 22, 2019, 12:55 AM
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Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasin.
My father passed away four months back.

I have difficulty in opening up to people. Alhumdulillah I do get along with a lot of people but I feel that i just on the surface level.

Just turned 30, and looking back it seems like life was just one thing after another. School, University, Job, Get married, Child -- I don't have anything to complain about. Comparing my life to dads, would show me to be an entitled ungrateful person. He has risen from poverty and has done enough for his family and for his extended family and for strangers.

I have a very good and more important meaningful job, extremely supportive family -- but I still feel lost. As if life is meaningless.

Not saying religion is the solution -- but yes I have veered away from religion, and was more content when I had 'deen' in my life.

Just blabbering rubbish here -- may Allah make it easy for me.
It's ok. It will all make sense. Thoughts come and go, but you are not your thoughts.
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