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Forget Cricket Talk about anything [within Board Rules, of course :) ]

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  #1  
Old September 11, 2014, 10:38 PM
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Jadukor Jadukor is offline
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Default Having kids or opting out

Our parents gave birth to us and our grand parents gave birth to our parents. It is the traditional thing to do. Parents always say the hardship of parenting is rewarding in the end. That creating life is a beautiful experience etc etc.

A lot of people tell me.. if you do not have kids who will take care of you when you are old? Do you guys believe that is a justified reason to have kids? To bring someone into this life so that the child can take you to hospitals and clean your bed?

How about the over populated world we live in? Is not having kids necessarily a bad thing? Is there a guarantee that the kid might grow up and leave and never look back?

Which side of the fence are you? I want to know your own philosophies and...
for a change lets do it by not hurting each other's feelings
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  #2  
Old September 11, 2014, 10:42 PM
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Rifat Rifat is offline
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Since the Attention of this thread has partially been derailed to the topic of raising kids, I want to share how ideally I want to raise kids:

I only want ideally two kids: a boy and a girl(I mean i don' really get to decide what happens, Allah does) but this is my wish. When you do have kids it is extremely important to spend quality time with them from an early age. Your child will not only see you as a father but also as a friend, an ally or a companion who can talk to you very openly about anything. I am not a huge fan of daycare but I can see why many people go for it and I respect that.


Quality Islamic Education starts from home, it starts at a very very early age. Raising kids in the right environment is also key, a friendly environment with righteous companions. Kids pick up habits that they adopt for life subconsciously without thinking and the type of person you are or a role model you are as a parent has a lot to do with it.

Times change. The world changes instantly by the second. we can see that today and many of you youngsters who grew up in the States or elsewhere will agree that there is a significant cultural gap between your parent's generation and today's Facebook generation. I want to raise children in such a way that regardless of how the world turns up in future, They will still respect you as a parent for who you are and your values, regardless of whatever road they chose to follow. There may or may not be a cultural/social gap between the parent generation and the kids generation, as long as there is no communication gap or mutual trust gap then in sha Allah parenting i think can be very rewarding and fun.
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  #3  
Old September 11, 2014, 10:53 PM
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very good philosophies for raising a child indeed. I would like my kids to grow up reading books like i used to but i know that will never happen.. it will be ipads and facebook that they will be interested in. I remember the elders frowning at us when we were in school. Eventually we will frown at young kids when we are old. It is a cycle of life. I think as parents we have to find modern approach to parenting rather than drawing from how we were raised by our parents. The old tactics might not work with the kids of the digital age.
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  #4  
Old September 12, 2014, 12:05 AM
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having kids are ewww
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  #5  
Old September 12, 2014, 06:02 PM
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My sympathies are with the parents of Jadukor for providing him -what seems to be -such an expensive education. Ki tereng bereng proshno kore!

Rifat, tumito boro convenient mullah nikla. Sunnah hoilo onek baichcha newa ar tumi kou duita niba. Ki hoilo, lil bro -asila buddhiman ar hoiba beoukuf?
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Old September 12, 2014, 09:04 PM
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Bhai apne koita nilen? Tin char taare re cricketer banayen
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  #7  
Old September 15, 2014, 09:01 AM
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Kids are the greatest blessing from Allah. (whichever God you follow)
Kids are the greatest gift of life.

Only those who have kids, will know.
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Old September 15, 2014, 09:36 AM
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Kids are wonderful.
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  #9  
Old September 15, 2014, 09:50 AM
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The sensation I get when my kids run toward me smiling and screaming "baba baba" after a long day at work is precious. It is indeed the greatest blessing from the Almighty. And I pray for those couples who are trying to conceive.

Just like marriage or a relationship, raising a kid demands hard work. It is difficult but the reward you get is simply amazing. I didn't get married expecting my wife to cook for me for me or share my bills nor I became a father expecting my kids to take care of me when I am older. The key word is love..

If you don't love kids or you think that raising a kid will be a daunting task for you, abstain from it. No damage done. But the thoughts of kids not taking care of me or population of the world should not influence my judgement. That's my perspective
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  #10  
Old September 15, 2014, 01:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabz
Kids are the greatest blessing from Allah. (whichever God you follow)
Kids are the greatest gift of life.

Only those who have kids, will know.
Easy there buddy. Not for all. (rapists, murderers, those who have punched tickets to hellfire - their parents and the victims parents disagree with you)

However, children are test for you.
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Last edited by Tigers_eye; September 15, 2014 at 04:04 PM..
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  #11  
Old September 15, 2014, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadukor
...
A lot of people tell me.. if you do not have kids who will take care of you when you are old? Do you guys believe that is a justified reason to have kids? To bring someone into this life so that the child can take you to hospitals and clean your bed?
...
Which side of the fence are you? I want to know your own philosophies and...
for a change lets do it by not hurting each other's feelings
Clearly, you have not written an essay on "jonoshongkha (Population)".

No kidding, people would have more kids so that they can have sons, who would be able to work on the rice fields.
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Strength in numbers. Arabs would have kids so that they can have more sons. Tribes, clans were measured how powerful they are by the number of grown men who can fight. Usually brothers, cousins, uncles.
++++
As for me, I have two, Al Hamdulillah. A boy and girl.

No daycare for them. Mrs. took care of them and I am in her debt. The boy went to Islamic School here in Little Rock. Mashallah he taught me things. Now he is in middle school. The Girl has not gone to school yet.

It is important to let them grow. Not force things upon them. As for parenting, I would say, give time and listen to them. I mean pay attention what they are saying and stop doing whatever you are doing. They will pick that up and NOT cut off someone while talking. It creates understanding of patience and wait for your turn. I am truly blessed (Rabz)!!!
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  #12  
Old September 15, 2014, 02:58 PM
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I've managed to keep my seed squarely in my pants!
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  #13  
Old September 15, 2014, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeshan
having kids are ewww
On the other hand, I have heard the process of making them is yummmmm.

But the actual birthing process sounds disgusting. Thankfully, I didn't have to see any deliveries (that's what Taijul said). Bloody and hella gross.
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