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  #1426  
Old December 17, 2009, 05:50 PM
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Ashfaq Ashfaq is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fazal
How much is "very much" and how dearly a man need to love a woman?

I also love someone ... the how come....

Forget about me.... I am nobody.

Tiger Wood love so many women do dearly that he risked his own reputation... then how come we don't see few dozons Tiger Jr? What's wrong with his love?
His "love" is probably protected. It's a hideous device used by lechers so that they can love many woman without facing the consequences.
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  #1427  
Old December 17, 2009, 06:12 PM
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Oh plz...dont give me the whole beauty is to the eye of the beholder bullcrap. to certain extent concept of beauty is a priori. psychologists did research and found that babies smile more to "pretty" faces and they have an inherent concept of beauty from birth. then there is the golden ration which is pleasing to the eye. let's not be in a damn denial of our own aesthetics. we are ugly. admit it. and to the naive statement by shardul vai, well duh...beauty is not the whole thing. there is so much factors like sexy voice, swagger, gait, posture, confidence, integrity that counts to a man's appeal. but to dismiss beauty as unimportant is a surefire sign of sourgrape. since we don't have it let's not lament about it. oh shut up. beauty, money, all these so called materialistic things ARE important. NOW...what constitutes as important maybe debatable and subjective but just because it's doesn't float your boat let's not shove it down others with religious homilies.

i remember that everytime us youth get's fade or short haircut with 1/2 size idiot bangali murubbis would be like "tayle to bangali bangali" lage na. WTF!! as if bangalis default looks should be shadamata, gobechara, porua porua babu with all the stereotypical enchilada.

Now...as soon as we have established the fact that we ARE really ugly in percent wise, my hypothesis is it's because of our submissive upbringing. we lose the affirmative, definitative VOICE because as soon as we are born we are supposed to "gurujon jaha bole koribo sohoj mone" so that in turn affects or lowers our confidence. when our confidence is low, it automatically affects us psychologically and that affects the general outlook. in addition to that, already in our materialistic culture we are brainwashed to believe that things such as looks, and girlfriends are taboo and waste of time and we should pursuit other "important" factors such as careers and porashuna. that precludes us from pursuing a healthy balanced lifestyle.

also, our standard of looks are very "low." also psychologically we are somehow timid of adopting western looks of chiseled greco roman bodies etcetera etcetera. sorry for the rambling but just wanted to share my views.
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  #1428  
Old December 17, 2009, 06:27 PM
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^^ I agree with most of your points except the core argument that Bangalis are ugly. To me they are less attractive because of lack of confidence, which probably comes from the upbringing where you dont question authority. People are good looking, some dont have to try much and some do and then theres the plain ugly ones. A lot of what you are saying is we are ugly because of how we present ourselves. Thats not really uglyness, thats our parents or whoever saying dont get your hair cut that way. back in Saint Joseph, my english teacher once yelled at me cause I used body spray. He said "eto fashion koro keno, pora lekha koro, spray diye kisu hobe na..". I dont know what I am trying to say with post anymore...lol. I should be doing calculus...stupid BC.
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  #1429  
Old December 17, 2009, 06:32 PM
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well bancan now that i have calmed down...i do realize it has more to do with the holistic rationale that we are after all a least developed country. and i am sure looks are not at the top of the list when majority of the people can't afford to eat. there is a great rift between lowerclass and upper class and lower class people are unhealthy from the pov that they cant get enough to eat and some upperclass fools indulge in the current fastfood culture that they start growing body fats in all the wrong places (like double chins, beer belly, cheeks).... to be really honest, a healthy physique contributes to good looks. so i guess subconsciously i was pointing out we are as a nation very unhealthy. we eat oily foods, not enough green vegetables (most that we cook in curries lose their essential vitamins) and we dont exercise as often as we should (although there is recent surge in morning walkers club in some parks) etcetera....meh i am rambling again. stupid bc.

edit: it's a good thing i heard that govt made a law recently that we cant smoke in public. :-]
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  #1430  
Old December 17, 2009, 06:38 PM
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AsifTheManRahman AsifTheManRahman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bancan
back in Saint Joseph, my english teacher once yelled at me cause I used body spray. He said "eto fashion koro keno, pora lekha koro, spray diye kisu hobe na..". I dont know what I am trying to say with post anymore...lol. I should be doing calculus...stupid BC.
Does anyone else see the irony in this?
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  #1431  
Old December 17, 2009, 08:55 PM
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Zeeshan bhai re mone kono shada maiya majhkhaner angul ta dekhaise.
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  #1432  
Old December 17, 2009, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
Why are we as a race so ugly? I think we are the ugliest nation on earth. We guys are out of shape with toilakto body. Our hairstyles are not symmetrical. Many of us wear glasses. We got double chins, receding chins, receding forehead, and ladies have dye their hair color brown just so they can look farsha. I demand answers!!! WHY ARE WE SO UGLY?
...That's not what the girls at UMiami think about me, ZM.
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  #1433  
Old December 17, 2009, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
Does anyone else see the irony in this?
Shhhhhhhhhh xD
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  #1434  
Old December 18, 2009, 06:04 AM
BD-Shardul BD-Shardul is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
..... the naive statement by shardul vai, well duh...beauty is not the whole thing. .......since we don't have it let's not lament about it. oh shut up. beauty, money, all these so called materialistic things ARE important. NOW...what constitutes as important maybe debatable and subjective but just because it's doesn't float your boat let's not shove it down others with religious homilies.
http://banglacricket.com/alochona/sh...postcount=1427

Wow ZM bhai. I agree with some of your points, but now comes the turn of the naive Mollah to do some rambling

To be honest, no matter how much I take consolation from the fact that the look in this world doesn't matter and try to gather strength from something else like the spirit that comes from my absolute faith on Islam, I have to admit that there were times when I have felt insecure because of my look at some points of my life. When I was a high school student, I had a lot of hair and I used to do Bengali style backbrush, which I was very much proud of, and it used to add to my confidence. Now that I have lost 60% of my hair, I now notice that it also lowered my confidence. I shouldn't have feel insecure nor should my sapping hairline should have affected my confidence, but it happened because we live in an world where too much importance is placed on the appearance of people and I am a man of weak eeman. Full stop.

And yes, if we compare the Bengali race with other race, I have to say that we are by any means no prettier than them. The Americans, the Arabs are way more prettier than us. Upbringing, socio-economic status and the food have influence on the look, but beauty at the end of the day is a blessing from from God. He gives it whomever he wants. He gave half of the the total beauty He created to Prophet Yousuf (May Allah's peace be upon him), and distributed the other half among the rest of the whole creation. Although at times I feel insecure, I constantly remind myself that this insecure feeling because of beauty or look is just another trap of trial crated by Satan and the key to succeed in this trial is to remember what Prophet of Allah adviced: Be patient and look at people who has less than what you have. Then you will have the sense of satisfaction. Allah could have made me a Black or African (no disrespect to blacks or my african brothers). Or He could have made me much uglier than what I am now. Would that have been better? So, better to remain patient on what God has given me and remain steadfast on the path of his prophet and strive to achieve Jannah, the eternal abode. There will be no insecure feeling for whatever I will want in Jannah, Allah will grant me instantly

Quote:
i remember that everytime us youth get's fade or short haircut with 1/2 size idiot bangali murubbis would be like "tayle to bangali bangali" lage na. WTF!! as if bangalis default looks should be shadamata, gobechara, porua porua babu with all the stereotypical enchilada.
Confidence is good but I also like what our murubbis say. Do not adopt fashions that are too haughty. We are the slaves of Allah and thus lead our live in this world as humbly as possible.

Quote:
.........and girlfriends are taboo and waste of time and we should pursuit other "important" factors such as careers and porashuna. that precludes us from pursuing a healthy balanced lifestyle.
Look ZM bhai, for you the balance is what West has defined. WHo invented this GF-BF culture? The non-muslims. I am a young man like you and I am surrounded by friends who has their own girlfriends. They party with their GFs, go shopping with them and eat with them. They take the prize from the Dean and then give a hug to their GF while I have none to do so. Don't you think that I sometimes feel that if I had a GF? I did have such feelings. However at the end of the day, we have remember that all these activities that look so balanced and healthy are nothing but a transgression of God's order. How they transgress the boundary set by God or why having a GF or BF is wrong is another lengthy philospphical debate. But this GF BF culture look so much awesome because the Devil whispers in our heart and presents them in a positive way.

Now yesterday I came across the following piece of writing from a Muslim brother which made me ponder. Read if you have time

Quote:
Bismillah.

In his essay entitled ‘Ideology and Ideological State Apparatuses [ISA's]‘, Althusser made some points on the mechanics of socialisation within a social formation that we, as Muslims living in a non-Muslim society, can benefit from. Some good information can also be gleaned from the Manifesto.

Marxism is a useful tool to Muslims living in the West in that it enables them to cut through the crap of socialisation. Instead of perceiving the ‘dominant’ set of moral and ethical values, certain political institutions or ‘rights’ given to the individual (etc) as absolute, as desiderata or something to be emulated, he can see these values/institutions for what they are. That is, not only can he grasp what Althusser might call their ‘historical’ nature, but he can see that they are hollow, that they find their origins in a certain chain of historical circumstances etc.

Once a set of moral values (etc) is shown to be hollow in its implied claim to ‘absoluteness’ or ‘innateness’, its existence as an objective moral value is destroyed.

The ‘age of consent’ in Western Europe is a good example of socialisation at work.

Why is the line between childhood and adulthood drawn so arbitrarily (and so humanly) in ‘Western’ societies? What is ‘paedophilia’? In the English legal sense, a good example would be a man (i.e. and adult) and a girl of age less than 16 engaging in sexual congress. In English eyes, this is a criminal act, irregardless of the nature of the relationship between the two parties (e.g. are they married?). In Islam, however, it is by no means at all that way. Even if we were to mention that both parties were consented, in terms of English law, that would be irrelevant, as the 15 (etc) year-old girl is unable to consent in the proper sense, as she is below the age at which that society deems it permissible for a person to consent to sex. Furthermore, there is a great deal of stigma attached to the fact that, as in this example, she slept with a man of (for example) forty years of age. Europeans consider it a great taboo, a profane deed, even though a cursory knowledge of history would be enough to refute the claim to ‘absoluteness’ in this morality.

Continuing with our example, can anyone tell me why many ignorant Muslims, in the case of Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam), are so severely disillusioned when they read that he (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) consummated his marriage with A`isha when she was nine years old?

The reason is that, from their birth, by the action of the ISA’s of Althusser (e.g. the family ISA, the educational ISA etc), they have been conditioned to think in a certain way; taught to think that the aforementioned constitutes an unmentionable crime, a cardinal sin etc. Eagleton writes that the role of ‘ideology’ is (ultimately) to make wage-labourers subordinate to the owners of the means of production, either by making them think that such is the ‘natural’ state of affairs, or by making them not consider the question of hierarchy at all. Now, we can take this formula, throw out ‘wage-labour’ and ‘means of production’, and exchange them for notions such as ‘morality’.

So, given the example of A`isha (R.A.A), why do ignorant Muslims object? Furthermore, how can they even countenance doing so when generations of kuffar did even raise an eyebrow?

Ibn Khaldun said that the ‘weak’ emulate the ’strong’. That is another dimension of the answer. The Muslims are politically, militarily, economically and technologically backward, in comparison to some non-Muslim polities. Ignorant Muslims will look at the moralities and political cultures and so on of these this-worldly successful states, and conclude that (for example) values such as tolerance of religious dissent, freedom from so-called ‘cruel and unusual’ punishments and other such values explain the wordly successes of the non-Muslims. They see Islam as signifying a set of values inimical to, for example, liberal democracy- in a word, they see Islam as the reason for the problems of the ummah. When people reach this judgement, which, in reality, is no more than the logical conclusion of a feeling of inferiority vis-a-vis the non-Muslims, they leave their religion.

I have read tens, and possibly hundreds of ‘apostasy stories’ from invariably ignorant ex-Muslims, and I wasn’t surprised to find that perhaps 95% of them left their religion for the following reason: Islamic and ‘Western’ values disagree with each other profoundly. Beliefs such as absolute ‘freedom of speech’, liberal democracy and legal equality between all simply cannot be reconciled with Islam. These are just a few examples.

‘Legal equality between all’ is quite a nebulous concept, so I’m going to qualify my statement. Under Islamic law, the dhimmi is not equal to the Muslim, just as they can never be equal spiritually. If the Muslim were to sin his entire life, and the kafir were to live a decent life even by our standards, his deeds would be all in vain. Tawhid would be enough to redeem the most sinful Muslim, and good deeds can never redeem a kafir, except perhaps by lightening his punishment in the Hereafter.

Many times, we engage in messages that reeks of ‘apologetics’- which are the province of the weak-minded, the uncritical, the followers of (un- or anti-Islamic) received ‘wisdoms’. What does she even mean by ’superior’? Surely the fact that God sent them down is sufficient.

‘Western’ secular law, without doubt, gives women (and individuals generally) ‘rights’ which Islam denies them. They do not have ‘freedom of movement’, in the sense that they must ask their husband’s permission before travelling. They do not have the ‘right’ to leave the house uncovered, or to drink, or to fornicate. Islam does not give women the ‘right’ to deny their husbands sex, without valid reasons. ‘Valid’ reasons are limited to issues such as health problems, or periods and the like.

Sr Ruth goes so far as to tell us that scholars have no right to comment on the issue. Rather than remaining open-minded, or considering that there is a possibility that her opponent may be right, she denies outright any other answer- not because the Qur’an is explicit on the issue (which it is not, rather, it is something present in the sunnah and the larger corpus of Islamic scholarship)- but because some unthinking parent told her, and because an unthinking society told her, and an unthinking educational system told her…that xyz is simply wrong.

So strong is this instinct in her (though it is far from innate, as we have discussed) that her immediate reaction is visceral, unconsidered and dangerously-worded. To think that she got something right, not only in exclusion to, but in opposition to, the ummah- without even caring what that ummah (i.e. its scholars) thinks, is ridiculous.

Muslim Matters should be, above all things, a ‘forum’ (not in the literal sense) for the critical discussion of ideas and ideologies and governments etc. Mouse made an excellent point with her article on adolescence (although she may not have realised exactly how excellent ).

When it comes to issues that require knowledge of fiqh, the learned of this site (and not outsiders) should speak, and everyone should shut up and stop their clamour from drowning out the wisdom of our scholars.
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  #1435  
Old December 18, 2009, 08:09 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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muh
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  #1436  
Old December 20, 2009, 11:40 AM
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Ashfaq Ashfaq is offline
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Shardul bhai has the most effective way to diffuse and argument.
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  #1437  
Old December 20, 2009, 01:19 PM
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Ajfar Ajfar is offline
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beauty is nothing without the brain.

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  #1438  
Old December 20, 2009, 01:45 PM
BD-Shardul BD-Shardul is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Siraji
Shardul bhai has the most effective way to diffuse and argument.
Eita ki complement? Diffuse writing style is an innocent error, which engineers should always avoid.


Quote:
Originally Posted by bangladesh_sy
beauty is nothing without the brain.
You are on the spot Syleti bhai, brain is necessary, but something else is also necessary. In your words: "Sundor hoile ki hoibo, dil jodi na thake.".
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  #1439  
Old December 20, 2009, 01:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bangladesh_sy
Zeeshan bhai re mone kono shada maiya majhkhaner angul ta dekhaise.

best post and riposte to ZM's post. SY baba hit the nail on the head.
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  #1440  
Old December 20, 2009, 11:23 PM
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Orpheus Orpheus is offline
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so which post was actually 1 millionth. The front page says we past 1 million already unless this has been discussed.
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  #1441  
Old January 1, 2010, 08:50 AM
Purbasha T Purbasha T is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orpheus
so which post was actually 1 millionth. The front page says we past 1 million already unless this has been discussed.
It actually was amar11432's post in his own thread about ESPN360. However, it got changed later on I don't know why, and now it's someone else's (dnno whose).
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  #1442  
Old January 1, 2010, 08:52 AM
Purbasha T Purbasha T is offline
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Okay, I got one question. Why is it that sometimes in the currently active users list, it says there a number of members present but don't see all the members listed on the side (suppose it says 2 members, so that means me and someone else; but I can see my name only on the side but not the other person's). Is there any setting where you can control the visibility of your presence in a thread?
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  #1443  
Old January 1, 2010, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purbasha T
Okay, I got one question. Why is it that sometimes in the currently active users list, it says there a number of members present but don't see all the members listed on the side (suppose it says 2 members, so that means me and someone else; but I can see my name only on the side but not the other person's). Is there any setting where you can control the visibility of your presence in a thread?
yeah...its called invisible mode.
Quote:
Originally Posted by system
Invisible mode allows you to browse the forums without appearing in the 'Currently Active Users' lists.
check the box of it in Edit Option page.

some big names are in invisible mode in BC
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  #1444  
Old January 1, 2010, 12:42 PM
Purbasha T Purbasha T is offline
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ভোত ভোত ধন্যেবাদ, জাদুপুত্র
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  #1445  
Old January 1, 2010, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orpheus
so which post was actually 1 millionth. The front page says we past 1 million already unless this has been discussed.
http://www.banglacricket.com/alochon....php?p=1000000
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  #1446  
Old January 1, 2010, 02:22 PM
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Does anybody know who owns the GNC franchise in Bangladesh?

http://www.gncfranchising.com/intl_locations.asp
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  #1447  
Old January 1, 2010, 03:37 PM
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does anyone know the cost differences if my dad applies for someone for student visa from here or the person applies for themselve from bd??? tnx in advance
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  #1448  
Old January 1, 2010, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by revolver
does anyone know the cost differences if my dad applies for someone for student visa from here or the person applies for themselve from bd??? tnx in advance
Going where?
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  #1449  
Old January 1, 2010, 09:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alien
Going where?
And where is here...
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  #1450  
Old January 1, 2010, 09:13 PM
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bujhee kom bujhee kom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by revolver
does anyone know the cost differences if my dad applies for someone for student visa from here or the person applies for themselve from bd??? tnx in advance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alien
Going where?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zunaid
And where is here...
hahahaha.....I think Miju means brom BD to London, right Miju mastaan, king of the federation of east asian gangstar young belaad (I mean blood....hahahah!) bro! East london full force!!!
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