Welcome to the Circus Act!

[ZeeshanM]

Hulloh! Calling all my fellow Englishmen, greenhorn and alderman, from yokels 'n bumpins to flue-flakers 'n Parish prig...Welcome to the Circus Act! Forget the Piccadilly Circus, grab yur fish`n chips, roll down yur hackney, put'on yur hock-dockeys `cuz circus is in town. Yesssirree Bob...and Jack. We got a circus full of act with jack-pudding 'n merry andrews awaiting to pull the biggest gag you yet to ever have.

First I present you with a lad. Oh what's so special about him you say? Ay. He is a prodigy. Prodigy, hein? Oh, he aint not just your ordinary boy genius! Oh no, no! Forget your Hampdenshire Wonder or the Lubeck prodigy. This one here scored a test century at the youngest age. Ay that's right. Look more into the mirror. Image in the mirror shows the past of a man who is now wayy past his puberty having his many shares of last laughs behind the tears of a clown.

Next I present you not just any ordinary stilt-walker, ay, but a man of such towering heights that he is the only man of his kind (and one of the top ten in the world) to reach the height of 150 mark with his towering sixes that makes Big Ben look like a monopoly house. Tell yu what bloke here capable of setting the Thames on fire on any given day. Pour in the shillings....pence two pence aye fill up my pewter....cuz now I bring you..

Mr.Jack-of-all-Trades. At about 1.7 meters , weighing roughly 10 stones or 4.6 slugs behind the joker's white makeup, always smiling, often dubbed as the Smiling Assassin, this man is not only is a jack-of-all-trades but sure is master of many. He is given the title for being the best at what he does by honorific Committee. He is number one all-rounder, #3 ODI bowler, #3 Test all-rounder. What more talent can you ask from a man? He is a puppeteer pulling the strings of the team, a ventriloquist who is the voice of Bd cricket, a silent mime who is louder in action. Now one helluva talented pierrot!

Arightie nib-cove...that oughta be enough for 'ntatainment, ey? But hold on! We got more, we have two Loki like trixsters who can pull magic tricks out of their hats, so that gives you five already. Who are they you say? Ay they go by the name "Aloukik" and "Raj." Yup, these two 'ere 'ill have ya in yar knickerbockers by performing vanishing act of yar wickets three-in-a-row on any given day...

Now then we already got five of a kind, I produce you two more in one breath. One is one of handful of fastest slinger alive, who can shoot faster than a man in cannonball, who is an express delivery man and the other wildcard is one of the handful of five who scored six sixes in six balls. Yclept Chokka Naeem yclad green and red 'dis devil...nah 'dis gremlin 'ere rolls on the very wheel of death.

Hulloh! What do we have there? Two stubborn fellas. Ay. I unveil Mr. Old Keebler. Mr. Old Keebler has been dubbed the chatterbox cuz of his non-stopping chatter. Mr Keeble here who sits on his knees most of his days and is a part time juggler who will drop anythin but a mug full of rumsy. He is know for his fastest maiden test century against the #1 side now. And a man just like him, who has been dubbed as Bangladesh's Peter Pan is.... Mohammad Mahmadulluh, a harlequin whose forte always seems to be when no one seems to be doing their act, he comes at the last minute and saves the nation, with tons or semi-tons out of thin air. Imagine him doing a balance act of seven men above him, an atlas who carries a load of collapse over his shoulder, he literally puts the map on Bangladesh.

As the acrobats followed by Zunaed, Kayes, Nafees comes, I produce one of a kind part-time hand-balancer, who can beat the strongest of lads in one-handed pushup, billed as one of the best new ball bowlers, not a unicyclist but an express train, who is worth a whoppin 600k....Com'un! Com'un...for two fortnights only, rain or shine, I present yu with one of a kinda circus with breads for munchin'...'urry ma booboisies..'urry!...

Forget Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, you are about to see the greatest show in the world!



Okay I admit, this bevy of stooges, house of clowns, will only produce a comedy of errors and world class buffoonery in Dhaka's hippodrome. But the thing is, as one rapper said "I (we) got all the ingredients, all I (we) need is a surge." If the spark is there from these fools and jesters can easily perform complex acts like plate-spinning to to throwing knives to death defying trapeze arts. I just showcased and highlighted their very bests of all, latent potential. The talent is there but it's how they gel and act in cohesion and unison that matters the match. Think about it! A team with youngest man to score a test century, a chappie who already has 154 scored by his name, the #1 all rounder in the world, two person with hattricks, one who is this close to becoming one of the fastest bowler in the world along with megastar Mashrafe bin Mortaza, then we have two more balance acters who carries the whole team's collapse and saves us from disgrace with tons already by their name, along with some really good fielders. Point being we got all the talent we have but it's about applying these talents and playing the cards that are dealth with even if it involves....JOKERS!

[offstump]

u forgot our special one, who uses a big run up and ends up throwing a big grunt with his mouth and batsman gets puzzled what he is delivering actually a ball or a grunt.

[asddsa]

[Purbasha T]

Circus indeed. Pms are about to get owned, pwned, drowned and all the other ''...wned''s in the hands paws of a group of roaring Panthera tigris.

[Purbasha T]

And yes, liked the wordplay ZM chachu. And it was, as they say it, Mochotkar.

[jisaan]

one of the best read... amazing 'wordplay'! it's a pity that cricinfo hasn't discovered you yet!

[jisaan]

missed Shafiul though!

[nycpro96]

I like it Zeeshan bhai. Original----as usual!

[Beamer]

Ki darun amader Zeeshan..

[ZeeshanM]

Sarcasm noted, lol.

Originally Posted by Beamer
Ki darun amader Zeeshan..

Well guys I had to constraint myself to a playing 11, that's why I left out Shafiul. Plus, he is not the best of his kind yet. And, Rajib is there, for scoring hattrick.

Thanks guys, appreciate it. It was actually the grey goose talkin' ay. [scottish accent in bagpiper]

[BD-Shardul]

ZM er talent dekhle amar majhe majhe hingsha hoy

[bujhee kom]

^^Arrey dada ki bolchen, Amader Gopal-er goon ebong talent tow over-flow upche porche dada, kaan, naak die berucche! Gopal-er ek kheen mridu paad-er awaj-o mone hoi ek shurela symphony/Tanpurar raag!!

[Ashfaq]

Unique as always Zeeshan. Don't really know what I should say. I normally do not review circus opening scripts, so I guess 'well done'.

[Ashfaq]

Originally Posted by bujhee kom
^^Arrey dada ki bolchen, Amader Gopal-er goon ebong talent tow over-flow upche porche dada, kaan, naak die berucche! Gopal-er ek kheen mridu paad-er awaj-o mone hoi ek shurela symphony/Tanpurar raag!!

If I were not dying of laughter, I would say vibration of fat and muscle can not produce the sound of string.

[Ahmed_B]

Its more like...

[auntu]

ছেলের এলেম আছে।
ধন্য ছেলের অধ্যাবসায়।

[Zunaid]

Now an FP article!

A tour preview with a difference:

Welcome to the Circus Act!

Zeeshan Mahmud

Our deliciously deviant Zeeshan plays the role of ringmaster and regales the visitors from Albion with a rollicking introduction to the show about to start under the Big Top. So hand in your ducats to the ducat grabber, set yourself down on the star backs and get a rundown on the Zanies. Yes, a player preview with a difference.

Read article »

[ZeeshanM]

Thanks, marvellous job on photoshop, may I ask if it was your hand in this Dr. Z?

[Tigers_eye]

I tried. Most of it went over my head. Nevertheless, must be an excellent piece Zee. Congrats.

Doc, is that McCullum wanna be Prior? That is already plated.

[Zunaid]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
Thanks, marvellous job on photoshop, may I ask if it was your hand in this Dr. Z?

si - only minor photoshopping - I was thinking of transforming the faces to match you know who, but I gotta earn my keep and pay for my mortgage

[One World]

Now I feel like going to a circus. Thanks.

[bujhee kom]

This is a great piece by Gopal da!!! A very good BC front page piece! A great handijob of graphics/photoshop mastery by Dr. Zunu uncleji!

[ZeeshanM]

Originally Posted by bujhee kom
This is a great piece by Gopal da!!! A very good BC front page piece! A great handijob of graphics/photoshop mastery by Dr. Zunu uncleji!

Not to be confused with the Zuni uncleji....

[bujhee kom]

Arrey dosto, gechilaam tow oi Afghan thread-e ekta last post marte....magaar therad-e tala maira diche!....

[bradsmokes]

sounds good to me

[Imteaz]

Nice one.

[AK420]

ZM, some of the players were not clear to me

[riyanjason]

Though Tamim Iqbal and, to a lesser extent Junaid Siddique and Imrul Kayes, batted with great pluck and flair, Bangladesh added another double humiliation to their horrendous list of shame.

The bowling has always been weak and never worse than on this tour, but just when it seemed that Bangladesh had at least learned how to bat, along came 20 wickets in two sessions.