The Advice Thread

[tonoy]

Well I figured, it's about time we have this thread on BC. This thread is for those that need advice on any matter, be it work, school, love, or anything. If you are in a dilemma and in need of free advice, this is where you would want to be at.

[iDumb]

dear banglacricket tonoy? - arguably the best thread ever made in FC.

[tonoy]

It took too long to get answers.

[tonoy]

I guess I'll start off. There is this hijab wearing girl in my class. She is drop dead gorgeous and way beyond my league. She always sits near me in class which makes me believe that I might be able to strike a conversation with her. So the question is should I risk everything and attempt to talk with her or just play it safe?

And let me tell you, if I do play it safe then I best hope that my parents manage something decent on the arranged marriage, as that will be my only option in the next six+ year.

[goru]

Originally Posted by tonoy
I guess I'll start off. There is this hijab wearing girl in my class. She is drop dead gorgeous and way beyond my league. She always sits near me in class which makes me believe that I might be able to strike a conversation with her. So the question is should I risk everything and attempt to talk with her or just play it safe?

And let me tell you, if I do play it safe then I best hope that my parents manage something decent on the arranged marriage, as that will be my only option in the next six+ year.

1) What is this "everything" that you are risking?

2) What do you mean by playing it safe? Is it just what you are doing now... that is, nothing?

3) What is happening to you for the next six+ years? Why do you think you'll not get more chances to "risk everything" in that time?

4) What was your blood alcohol content while writing this post?

[Nafi]

Originally Posted by tonoy
I guess I'll start off. There is this hijab wearing girl in my class. She is drop dead gorgeous and way beyond my league.

On a sidenote, Ive never could ever seem to like Hijaab wearing girls, a girl's hair is too important to me. Though it doesnt stop them pursuing me in awkward fashion

She is drop dead gorgeous and way beyond my league. She always sits near me in class which makes me believe that I might be able to strike a conversation with her. So the question is should I risk everything and attempt to talk with her or just play it safe?

Okay for the real advice

You are risking nothing, just talking to her. Are you afraid of her being mean to you and humilating you, that is not likely to happen, the vast majority of girls would not be mean like that. The worst that could happen, if she is shy and uninterested, she will politely show she isnt interested in talking to you.

If she is interested, she will respond to you, she will smile, she may make incidental physical contact, she will be friendly at the least.

First you're going to have to calibrate, what this girl is like, all girls require different approaches, I would say there are three main conflicts in a girl's mind, when it comes to guys, there are a) physical intimacy, b) relationship investment, c) Idealism vs Realism

Is she A) shy (hence not flirty) or is b) she socially extroverted (flirty)

a) if she is shy, then be more gentle, dont suggestively touch her (atleast not early on), make a small little joke about yourself/situation in context.

b) be quite spontaneous, make fun of her in a lighthearted way, to get her laughing about herself. Show friendly touching early on (like on the shoulder/ arms) keep it friendly and light, dont paw!

does she normally talk to guys (more guy friends than girl friends)?

Yes) then dont show her as much attention, be aloof, tease more and be much more indirect. Dont show her interest early on, try to hint that she's the one interested in you, say stuff like 'oh I like how you've dressed up (for this occasion) ' blah blah

No) Be more direct, increase your effort and investment, show her you care with small but thoughtful/protective actions eg removing lint from her jacket/ having ur hand on her arm when crossing the road. Perhaps later on, mention how a girl broke your heart before, showing some vulnerable side. Get her to trust you, by you opening up and revealing a few personal things.

Is she a realist or an idealist

a) a realist, dont do anything fancy or over the top, just be present and be there for them in tough times. be emotionally stable, dependable and solid. Talk about your career/academia and how prepared you are in life.

b) idealist, be romantic, unpredictable, spontaneous. Talk about your passions and what you'd love to do, and include her into virtual fantasies of what you two could do in the future. Remember its you and her against the world.

Lastly, dont forget depending on who you are, if you are a social guy, then you might as well be the outgoing, wisecracking guy, however if you are also to shy, you can play mysterious guy, where you hold her eye contact, you slow down your movements, talk slowly but with purpose. girls finds both traits attractive, and a combination irresistable.

To start you off, just say 'hey' to the girl, 'whats your name/ you're (insert name) right?', hold eye contact, smile a litte bit with confidence.

Most important thing is confidence, without confidence you are nothing. And be honest, but i dont think you are a sleazeball, so I dont think you have to worry about the honesty.

And let me tell you, if I do play it safe then I best hope that my parents manage something decent on the arranged marriage, as that will be my only option in the next six+ year

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but you should think this as a last option.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by Nafi
On a sidenote, Ive never could ever seem to like Hijaab wearing girls, a girl's hair is too important to me. Though it doesnt stop them pursuing me in awkward fashion

No one was talking about you man.

[ammark]

Ha... there was a hijab wearing hottie in my class once whom I totally made the effort to befriend. "Ghumtar niche khemta naache" was a true motivational motto for me.

Sadly she dropped out of that course and I never saw her again.

[Ajfar]

Originally Posted by ammark
Sadly she dropped out of that course and I never saw her again.

Maybe she dropped out of your course and enrolled in Tonoy bhai's course.

[tonoy]

Woah, an actual helpful advice. Thank you Nafi. I think I'm going to take a risk this semester and actually try to make an effort to at least talk to her. I am going to follow the exact advice that you have put up and will let you know how it turned out.

On a side note, It seems Nafi is quite pro at this. I think you could run against Rifat for the "BC playa" title. :P

[Akib]

I'm not entirely sure why talking to her is "risking everything".

[Zunaid]

Originally Posted by Akib
I'm not entirely sure why talking to her is "risking everything".

The BC word of 2010 comes to mind - sissy.

[Ajfar]

Originally Posted by tonoy
I think you could run against Rifat for the "BC playa" title. :P

nop don't think so. I would like to see Nafi woo 8 UCONN chicks and than turn them all down.

[al Furqaan]

Originally Posted by ammark
Ha... there was a hijab wearing hottie in my class once whom I totally made the effort to befriend. "Ghumtar niche khemta naache" was a true motivational motto for me.

Sadly she dropped out of that course and I never saw her again.

was this at U of T or back in dhaka?

[al Furqaan]

i have a problem...also.

sometimes when i see a girl, i get a strange feeling. i am sure this is not normal because i used to not have this feeling when i was a child. this feeling is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing the girl is wearing. this feeling does not occur with any boys. why? i also find that i have difficulty peeing during these times. i am afraid i may have some type of cancer. i heard that anuria can mean u have a cancer? i am scared.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by al Furqaan
sometimes when i see a girl, i get a strange feeling. i am sure this is not normal because i used to not have this feeling when i was a child. this feeling is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing the girl is wearing. this feeling does not occur with any boys. why? i also find that i have difficulty peeing during these times. i am afraid i may have some type of cancer. i heard that anuria can mean u have a cancer? i am scared.

So you are concerned that you get a "feeling" when seeing girls with minimal clothes but the same feeling you don't get when you see boys with minimal clothes? wtf is wrong with you?

And also why would you wanna pee while you see a girl? wtf man?

[Zeeshan]

what stopped nafi from making flowcharts and powerpoint slides...

[tonoy]

Originally Posted by iDumb

you should definitely talk to her though...but not with the intention of making her the mother of your child. Not with any intention. This is a penny stock, it can make you rich overnight but probability of that is very slim. Chances are high you will lose.

But why bother talking if the main objection is not fulfilled? The thing I am afraid of is that If I do decide to talk with her and attempt to make my move(is that what they call it these days?) and she turns me down, then the whole semester is going to suck.

BTW, she is non desi. From what I've gathered, she is from Iran.

[Jadukor]

Originally Posted by iDumb
So you are concerned that you get a "feeling" when seeing girls with minimal clothes but the same feeling you don't get when you see boys with minimal clothes? wtf is wrong with you?

And also why would you wanna pee while you see a girl? wtf man?

good one!

[Habib]

Originally Posted by tonoy
Woah, an actual helpful advice. Thank you Nafi. I think I'm going to take a risk this semester and actually try to make an effort to at least talk to her. I am going to follow the exact advice that you have put up and will let you know how it turned out.

On a side note, It seems Nafi is quite pro at this. I think you could run against Rifat for the "BC playa" title. :P

Nope. Rifat is the bigger playa. He gets the chics' attention without even trying. Salute to you Rifat bro :P

[Habib]

Originally Posted by tonoy
But why bother talking if the main objection is not fulfilled? The thing I am afraid of is that If I do decide to talk with her and attempt to make my move(is that what they call it these days?) and she turns me down, then the whole semester is going to suck.

BTW, she is non desi. From what I've gathered, she is from Iran.

My god she's from Iran! Watch out for very sharp knife. Hope that helps :P

[ammark]

Originally Posted by tonoy
BTW, she is non desi. From what I've gathered, she is from Iran.

The only hijab wearing Irani girl I knew at U of T was a very sweet girl, but one of them muslim feminists. The rest of the Persian girls were total boner-inducing tarts!

[Akib]

Originally Posted by ammark
The only hijab wearing Irani girl I knew at U of T was a very sweet girl, but one of them muslim feminists. The rest of the Persian girls were total boner-inducing tarts!

You must be been to a different part of UofT, as that is not how I would describe most of the Persian girls I saw.

[Nafi]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
what stopped nafi from making flowcharts and powerpoint slides...

The small remote chance of a gf stumbling across my post.

[Zunaid]

Originally Posted by Nafi
The small remote chance of a gf stumbling across my post.

Edit: The small remote chance of a gf. stumbling across my post.