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  #1  
Old February 20, 2012, 11:56 AM
zsayeed zsayeed is offline
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Default How to tame the Ego?

Bhai o Bonera,

I am asking you this question for a personal reason. I am also hoping that you guys will give answers that would help others as well.

From the earliest times, be it Patanjali, Geeta, Sufism, Kabalism, Budhism... the ego has been the one part that has been held responsible for all the friction in humanity. In Sufism/Islam/Arabic it is called Nafs. We are told about the effect of Nafs; in Sanskrit, the Ohom. Yes that is the same root that goes into Ohonkar.

Please give me your answer as to how to tame the ohom, nafs, ego? What have you learned to do - not from theory but from practice? Amader shathey alochona koren - Amar binito onurodh.


Thank you sincerely.
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Last edited by zsayeed; February 20, 2012 at 12:38 PM..
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  #2  
Old February 20, 2012, 01:56 PM
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FagunerAgun FagunerAgun is offline
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zsayeed bhai, a very good thread for personal life improvement and emotional containment in diverse challenging situation.

Ego - the silent killer:

1. Always opposite to self-esteem and self-awarness.

2. More money, fame and influence and ego gets bigger.

3. Thus self-esteem and self-awareness go down and things get more complicated for those egoistic people. Example: A Ph.D has a higher ego, but if that person is unemployed for a long time then that person's ego, usually, gets more vicious and complicated - may become a direct/indirect cause of physically and emotionally hurting depression.

4. Ego brings sufferings for the egoistic person and for others too.

5. Ego can't be obliterated in one's mind, it should be balanced/marginalized/tamed through self-esteem and self-awareness - through emotional intelligence: emotion should be controlled, selective and filtered to ( through intrinsic and extrinsic values/events) intelligence to find the positive emotion and clamp down on negative/killer emotion.

6. Spiritualism may tame ego as well. But that spiritualism must have an extrinsic values through exeternal and positive monitoring system along with intrinsic values. Example, a fundamentalist can be egoistic with his religion/faith, and then can get motivated intrinsically, may blow up something. Because his faith did not have an extrinsic values with external and postive monitoring system to understand what's happening outside of his belief/faith/ego, and thus such intrinsic values may end up being deadly.

zsayeed bhai, thanks for this finding..yes it may help: http://www.banglacricket.com/alochon...4&postcount=45

Last edited by FagunerAgun; February 20, 2012 at 06:39 PM..
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  #3  
Old February 20, 2012, 04:03 PM
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Nafi Nafi is offline
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Judging by most of the posts on BC, a large ego is the least of people's (the guys at least) worry here.
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Last edited by Nafi; February 20, 2012 at 04:46 PM..
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  #4  
Old February 20, 2012, 04:34 PM
Dilscoop Dilscoop is offline
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Don't hag with Tamim Iqbal?
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  #5  
Old February 20, 2012, 04:59 PM
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"Enjoy yourself"
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  #6  
Old February 20, 2012, 07:01 PM
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Sohel NR once wrote a great piece with Ghazali advice on Nafs, Adab etcetera. Can't find it.
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  #7  
Old February 20, 2012, 07:20 PM
zsayeed zsayeed is offline
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Zeeshan bhai, thanks. Actually I have the book "Ihya Ulum Al Din" by Ghazzali. I found only one complete translation in New Market in 2004 in a 4 volume set. At that time, and perhaps even now, there were no complete translation available and a Bangladeshi gentleman, Fazlul Karim, al Hajj had the only extant complete translation - in the world!

However, I am more interested in how you guys have tackled the issue in your personal lives - that is to say, 1st hand knowledge.

Thanks.
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  #8  
Old February 20, 2012, 07:29 PM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zsayeed

However, I am more interested in how you guys have tackled the issue in your personal lives - that is to say, 1st hand knowledge.

Thanks.
Weed...Mexican

Edit: Just to same on the same page, I need to know what you mean by Ego. If you are referring to the loose term, ie hubris, then it doesn't bother me. Certain bit of self-assuredness is needed. Rather if you are speaking of psychological term like Id, Ego or Superego than it sort of dovetails with a 'psychological program' that has been printed on tabula rasa that can be defragmented or washed away. I tried to deconstruct it with inspection but realized best is to accept your flawed self for you are instead of fighting it. Sure substances helped, but sometimes it is through personal hobbies or fulfillment such as cricket that one can lose or transcend the Ego, hence the Japanese metaphor of 'The Way'. So best cure is to stay busy and have a goal. Remember Siddartha means 'the one who attained his goal' while eastern religions has a negative connotation of kick-backing or doing Nothing. Yet those religions are very much goal-oriented.

In simple formula, pick something and try to be the best at it :p at least my philosophy
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  #9  
Old February 20, 2012, 09:19 PM
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Controlling the tongue can control one's ego if I understand ego correctly.

Think of the moment when it comes (death).

Ittakullah. Having khusu (awareness of the presence of Allah) in the kalb will control ego certainly.
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  #10  
Old March 7, 2012, 12:02 PM
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Sayeed mama, this an incredible thread...I ahve a lot to say...but I fell into a massive jumble of hectic work/school and family issue lately, so I am not getting around to write in the great thread, have a lot to say here...I will write and post here on Saturday!
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  #11  
Old March 7, 2012, 12:13 PM
F6_Turbo F6_Turbo is offline
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Don't tame it...Feed it!

Lame jokes aside - Speaking personally I am humbled almost daily by what I see around me. Every day on the way to work, I look around this city and I look at the people - one look at their hungry, and painful eyes, and you can't help but be thankful for what you have. And more importantly, be thankful for the twist of fate that landed me inside the big, comfy air conditioned V8, while they beat away at my tinted windows.

That feeling is doubled at work, the nature of my work means, I see the horror of humanity, but I also see the courage and spirit that people with almost nothing to live for, continue to show. Their dignity under duress is beyond comprehension. Once again, making me wonder, in their place, would I be so, brave, stoic, dignified?

So, I find it quite easy to contain my ego/bravado and count my blessings.
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  #12  
Old March 7, 2012, 12:22 PM
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FagunerAgun FagunerAgun is offline
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Turbo, glad to hear you have a good life. Ego is situational as well. In this situation where humanity persists in your heart, ego is well fed.

But in another situation, example, some body hurt your pride/work/honor/comfort etc..the ego may be involved to be reactionary.

Ego is situational extrinsically and intrisically.
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  #13  
Old March 7, 2012, 12:26 PM
Zunaid Zunaid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FagunerAgun

Ego is situational extrinsically and intrisically.
What does that really mean? How can you attribute situational attributes to Ego. What about the id?
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  #14  
Old March 7, 2012, 01:00 PM
zsayeed zsayeed is offline
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I was really speaking of the classical sense of the word ego as in Nafs and Ohom. Not what Freud had done.
But I let you guys flow as you feel.
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  #15  
Old March 7, 2012, 03:27 PM
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BANFAN BANFAN is offline
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Gain knowledge But whatever you know always believe that you don't know enough yet.
Believe in the creator and be kind to His creation
Lead a religious life.... religious by own choice and understanding, not on hearsays or what was taught by your fore fathers. Read the book and follow it.
Travel a lot and mix with different culture and different people.
Don't maintain class, dine with your driver/workers together on the same table and menu

You will not know what ego is...
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