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Forget Cricket Talk about anything [within Board Rules, of course :) ]

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  #1  
Old January 19, 2004, 03:59 AM
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Default Joke of the day....

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.

"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his rear off. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says: "Make them all ugly again."



Keep posting a joke for each day...
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  #2  
Old January 19, 2004, 09:06 PM
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Default Blonde

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you
hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the
woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more
specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
"Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That
hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she
cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a
natural blonde?" "Why, yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger.
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  #3  
Old January 19, 2004, 09:26 PM
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An American came to watch a game of cricket. He watched the first over where the batsmen scored two runs. At the end of the over the Umpire called "Over" At this the American got up and said "Nice game, but it's a bit short".
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  #4  
Old January 20, 2004, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hasib
An American came to watch a game of cricket. He watched the first over where the batsmen scored two runs. At the end of the over the Umpire called "Over" At this the American got up and said "Nice game, but it's a bit short".
I don't get it
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  #5  
Old January 20, 2004, 10:10 AM
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h_fan: the american thought the game was finished after umpire called out over.
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  #6  
Old January 20, 2004, 10:40 PM
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Yeah but where's the funny bit? Is there a reference to baseball?
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  #7  
Old January 21, 2004, 06:31 AM
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May be he was trying to say Yanks are dumb :P
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  #8  
Old January 21, 2004, 06:40 AM
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A man has six children and he is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home, and he wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, “shall we go home, Mother of Six?” His wife irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts back, “anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”
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  #9  
Old January 21, 2004, 08:04 AM
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What I meant was yankees don't know the rules of cricket so when the umpire called over he thought the game was over.
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  #10  
Old January 21, 2004, 08:06 AM
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Oh and why Father of four, not six?
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  #11  
Old January 21, 2004, 08:24 AM
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Two of them aren't his
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  #12  
Old January 21, 2004, 09:17 AM
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I guess James has got his "apples and bees" talk.
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  #13  
Old January 21, 2004, 10:01 PM
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I understood Hasib's joke, I just didn't find it that funny, I wasn't trying to diss him and his joke it's just that I thought there must have been more to it because well sorry Hasib it wasn't funny. Maybe if baseball had an "over".
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  #14  
Old January 23, 2004, 07:49 PM
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Default Blonde jokes

Here's another blonde joke:

Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
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  #15  
Old January 26, 2004, 01:35 AM
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Default Sardar Special

An advance sorry to those who don't understand hindi/urdu.

*Sardar: Doctor help me, main jab baat karta houn to mujhe sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

* Angry sardar-Oye main is duniya ko mita dunga.. mita dunga.. mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said main tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga.

*Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

* Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha
kya?"
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

* Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar
chalta tha, woh kya soch raha hoga....
think.............
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

*What is the full form of singh
s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai.

*Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulta.

* ..A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but I couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought,
thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

* Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a
ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"


[Edited on 26-1-2004 by ehsan]
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  #16  
Old January 26, 2004, 02:50 AM
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I got bits n pieces of it... but not enough...
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  #17  
Old January 26, 2004, 10:16 PM
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Default This one\'s for Orpheus..

A Moral Dilemma

Here's a dilemma for you.... be honest and decide what you would do. This
test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please don't
answer it without giving it serious thought. By giving an honest answer you
will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely,
completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one
way or the other.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.


Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for the
test to work accurately.


You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact... There is great chaos going on
around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge masses
of water everywhere. You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of
this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and people
floating around you, disappearing into the water. Nature is showing all its
destroying power and is ripping everything away with it.

Suddenly you see a man in the water, fighting for his life, trying not to be
taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer. Somehow the man
looks familiar...

Suddenly you know who it is - it's George W. Bush!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him
away, forever. You have a chance to save him or you can take the best photo
of your life, a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the
death of one of the world's most powerful men.

And here's the question (please give an honest answer):
/
/
/
/










Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of classic
black and white ?
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  #18  
Old January 27, 2004, 08:02 AM
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To be honest, if I was in the middle of a storm... unless family or friends are in danger... I would be mainly conserned about saving my own skin.
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  #19  
Old January 27, 2004, 08:32 PM
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Default HAHA

Definitely color!

[Edited on 28-1-2004 by Orpheus : shortened]
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  #20  
Old January 28, 2004, 04:16 AM
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when i said skin i meant myself
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  #21  
Old January 28, 2004, 06:04 AM
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George Bush aint worth keeping alive and if you took a photo there would be all sorts of allegations...so...i would let his drown and not take a photo
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  #22  
Old January 28, 2004, 11:20 AM
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I think you guys missed the whole joke there. Replace George Bush with your president (but Bush is ofcourse funnier given all the animosity ppl got toward him). Use Blair!

While you read, you are formulating an answer thinking that the question will be "what will you do?" but the real question is "which film will you choose"? meaning that there is no question you will choose to take the picture. Get the joke? (yes it was a joke - no one really cares about your opinion). Ppl in this board has so dull sense of humor!

Hasib, you crack me up sometimes man. Raj bhai... I never got the "apples and bees" talk... My parents are too conservative.. you wanna share?
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  #23  
Old February 2, 2004, 06:52 AM
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I still don't get fab's joke...i must just be really really slow

I never understood what Raj meant by apples and bees but i continued on pretending i did
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  #24  
Old February 2, 2004, 01:08 PM
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It's not about getting it! Some jokes are not funny!

For example, I agree with you about Hasib's Joke - there should have been a reference to baseball, otherwise it's not funny.

About Bush, Political jokes might not be for you! If you compare that Joke to Princess Diana incidence.. it's actually sad!

As for Rajputro's comment - Only he knows what apples and bees meant. I never seen a bee on an apple! I saw a cockroach though!
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  #25  
Old February 2, 2004, 06:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Orpheus
Raj bhai... I never got the "apples and bees" talk... My parents are too conservative.. you wanna share?
If you dont know what I am talking about, how do you know, parents are suppossed to do that talk?

Caught red handed Orphy!!!
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