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  #1  
Old August 27, 2014, 01:23 AM
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Jadukor Jadukor is offline
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Default Group Therapy Session 2: The Test Series

So far so good. Looks like the BC public took the mental beating like a MAN!

But alas! we still have the T-20 and the Test series to go!

Just to prepare you folks for all the nasty possibilities and Test records here is a list of things that could go wrong:

1. Ramdin eating us alive: In every tour we focus on the big stars but then get screwed by the unknowns. We fear Ajmal but get done by Abdur Rehman.. or fear Hayden but Gillespie scores a double.. or we fear Varun Aron but give a free pass to Stuart Binny. Ultimately the point is Ramdin has our number.. just like the Samaraweeras of yesteryear. So don't be shocked if WI are 5 down and then Ramdin scores a triple.

2. Razzak as our spin hope: Following the trail of retarded selections i see a strong probability that Razzak will feature in the Test series and mesmerize the batsman with his leg stump darts.

3. Collapso: yes Zeeshan! it is a new word! inspired by Calypso of the Caribbean. It basically refers to the pack of cards that is our top order. If Shamsur, Kayes, Nasir, Tamim, Ryad is in the lineup then expect to lose wickets at the same frequency that a diarrhea patient goes to the bathroom. Kindly note that if you are a diarrhea patient then please install a tv in the bathroom because otherwise you might miss the entire bd batting innings.

4. Captain's Vengeance: Captain hyper emotional conservative Rahim is still in charge. This means that taking basic decisions will seem more challenging than Quantum Physics. While He gives us hope in batting but it also means that if West Indies bat first someone from the bowling line up will have to be the designated donkey for the day. This poor chap will have to bowl 20 overs minimum and 50 overs if he is foolish enough to take a wicket. I can hear Razzak laughing because he won't get any.
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  #2  
Old August 27, 2014, 01:27 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadukor
So far so good. Looks like the BC public took the mental beating like a MAN!

But alas! we still have the T-20 and the Test series to go!

Just to prepare you folks for all the nasty possibilities and Test records here is a list of things that could go wrong:

1. Ramdin eating us alive: In every tour we focus on the big stars but then get screwed by the unknowns. We fear Ajmal but get done by Abdur Rehman.. or fear Hayden but Gillespie scores a double.. or we fear Varun Aron but give a free pass to Stuart Binny. Ultimately the point is Ramdin has our number.. just like the Samaraweeras of yesteryear. So don't be shocked if WI are 5 down and then Ramdin scores a triple.

2. Razzak as our spin hope: Following the trail of retarded selections i see a strong probability that Razzak will feature in the Test series and mesmerize the batsman with his leg stump darts.

3. Collapso: yes Zeeshan! it is a new word! inspired by Calypso of the Caribbean. It basically refers to the pack of cards that is our top order. If Shamsur, Kayes, Nasir, Tamim, Ryad is in the lineup then expect to lose wickets at the same frequency that a diarrhea patient goes to the bathroom. Kindly note that if you are a diarrhea patient then please install a tv in the bathroom because otherwise you might miss the entire bd batting innings.

4. Captain's Vengeance: Captain hyper emotional conservative Rahim is still in charge. This means that taking basic decisions will seem more challenging than Quantum Physics. While He gives us hope in batting but it also means that if West Indies bat first someone from the bowling line up will have to be the designated donkey for the day. This poor chap will have to bowl 20 overs minimum and 50 overs if he is foolish enough to take a wicket. I am pretty sure Razzak will feel secure because he won't get any.
ekhane amake tene anar ki dorkar chilo. Ar tachara Apocalypso ki dosh korlo...apocalypso as in end of the Bangladesh world cricket
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The guy you hit? If he got a look at the plates, it won't even take that long. There's no play here. There's no angle, there's no champagne room. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm a janitor. The math on this is simple; the smaller the mess, the easier it is for me to clean up.
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  #3  
Old August 27, 2014, 02:12 AM
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tumi toh tanatanir (arthik) moddhei aso tai vablam...
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  #4  
Old August 27, 2014, 02:42 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadukor
tumi toh tanatanir (arthik) moddhei aso tai vablam...
Not to confuse "tonatuni"...

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The guy you hit? If he got a look at the plates, it won't even take that long. There's no play here. There's no angle, there's no champagne room. I'm not a miracle worker, I'm a janitor. The math on this is simple; the smaller the mess, the easier it is for me to clean up.
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  #5  
Old August 27, 2014, 01:47 PM
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Tigers_eye Tigers_eye is offline
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Signed.
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  #6  
Old August 27, 2014, 04:25 PM
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@Captain's Revenge

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  #7  
Old August 27, 2014, 08:09 PM
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kalpurush kalpurush is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
Signed.
+1

Jadukorer jadu besh mojar dekhi!
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  #8  
Old August 28, 2014, 08:19 PM
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22Yards 22Yards is offline
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This is why I love BC regardless of how terrible the cricket of this country is going. The humor is just priceless.
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  #9  
Old September 5, 2014, 10:29 PM
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Jadukor Jadukor is offline
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Captain's vengeance got us good this time :-(
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  #10  
Old September 5, 2014, 10:48 PM
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al Furqaan al Furqaan is offline
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All 3 of our 500+ totals came after fielding for a day and half and watching the oppossition rack up scores of 537-4 dec, 570-4 dec, and 469 all out. Maybe Mushy is going for 4 in a row?
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  #11  
Old September 5, 2014, 11:17 PM
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^ Ah the 'script'
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  #12  
Old September 7, 2014, 10:54 AM
5tonne 5tonne is offline
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I blame it on India. If they didn't support our claim for test status we wouldn't be in this dire situation today. They have done it purposefully to embarrass us on world stage day in day out. Shame on you India!
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  #13  
Old September 7, 2014, 06:47 PM
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Collapso struck big time apart from Shamsu who probably got lucky. The designated donkey was Taijul who bowled 47 overs in one innings.
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  #14  
Old September 8, 2014, 03:23 AM
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Roni_uk Roni_uk is offline
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This must be the darkest year ever since we got our Test status.
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  #15  
Old September 16, 2014, 10:02 PM
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Jadukor Jadukor is offline
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Sessions available at 50% discount folks. Join in.

The therapy program includes:

i) Ice Bucket Challenge: Pouring a bucket full of ice and water over individuals at the same frequency as cricket related thoughts come to their mind.

ii) Football World cup marathon: Video highlights of great football matches since 1986 for 48 hours.

iii) In house session of danguly the new frontier in our nation's sporting future

iv) A one on one with Al Furqan where he explains that we do not suck.. we are simply unpredictable like pakistan.
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