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Old December 26, 2012, 12:11 AM
RezaA RezaA is offline
Join Date: December 23, 2012
Posts: 100
Default Novelist/Short story writers' Cafe

Here's my first part I intent to finish Insh Allah. Give me your honest opinion.

“Kalu, kesu dekhsos?” asked Noli.
“Kesu nai bhai. Amar mone hoi shob keesu akhon keeliear. Cholen Allah’r nam nia- Bismillah, Allahu Akbar.” Kalu lead the way, and both of their senses were on high elert. They are on hunt for killing an international official to avenge Noli’s brother’s death.
“Kalu re ar koto durre bhai?”
“Ar dur nai beshi…aktu dhiorjo dhoren.”
They came to a lake of clear water. The moon with its beauty, shine and spender already calm both them and their thurst. Kalu put his whole head into the lake and started to drink and took up his head and breath a bit then put his head again to drink. Seeing Kalu’s action Noli started to laugh out loud. “Kalu re bhai, shob pane akbare khabeeny!!!”
Kalu took of his shirt and then jumped into the lake to cool his body. Noli taking of his shirt jumped into the lake and started swimming and drinking at the same time.
The moon had set a while now and only the light rays and rays of light bouncing of the lake water.
Hunger made both of them wake up. Noli,”Kalure ei jongole kee kesui nai. Dekh kesu pash kena?”
Both of them started walking. They do not have much to carry. Both of them thanked Allah. Right infront of us is a tree full of leechee. “O Allah,” both said simultaneously. They ate as much as possible. The tree wasn’t much taller so they climbed to the top and took all the ripe ones. Then they saw monkeys, the competitors. It is better to ration now then to fight them. The alpha screeched showing his beautifully large teeth.
“Now how the hell we’ll take water with us?”
Kalu answered, “Bhai cholen pothe keesu milai jabo ei ta jongol, chaor obhab nai. Chinta nean na, cholen allaher namee.”

Last edited by RezaA; December 26, 2012 at 03:03 AM..
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Old December 26, 2012, 02:02 AM
mufi_02's Avatar
mufi_02 mufi_02 is offline
BanglaCricket Staff
Editorial Team
Join Date: August 2, 2011
Location: NY
Favorite Player: Lara, Shakib
Posts: 7,424

Pick one language. Either English or Bangla. Right now, it seems more like Banglish.
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Old December 26, 2012, 02:59 AM
RezaA RezaA is offline
Join Date: December 23, 2012
Posts: 100

Originally Posted by mufi_02
Pick one language. Either English or Bangla. Right now, it seems more like Banglish.
It is banglish...but anyhow post your stories please, and how was it?
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Old December 26, 2012, 03:46 AM
Jadukor's Avatar
Jadukor Jadukor is offline
Join Date: October 17, 2010
Favorite Player: Shakib, Brian Lara
Posts: 12,488

Originally Posted by Sir Humayun
It is banglish...but anyhow post your stories please, and how was it?
Brokeback mountain er banglish version mone hoise
vacant slot
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Old December 26, 2012, 02:37 PM
Vepu Vepu is offline
Join Date: December 25, 2012
Location: Savar
Favorite Player: Anybody who plays for BD
Posts: 3,357
Default Chondalpur

Ajob ek nogor ai chondalpure shob chondaler bash. Nije lungi mathay tulia onnoke upodesh dibe dhuti thik koria por. Eikhane pakhi marile jeler ghani tanibe kintu manush maria nischinte ghuria berano jay keu kichchuti bolibena. Ei nogore 'boro baper polay khay' ar 'choto' baper pola ha koriya lol falay. Na go aita haler facebook lol na, parotid gland kortrik ningshrito rosh. temoni ek choto baper pola bisshojit boshia lol falaitechilo. eimatro shogge pouchailo bote kintu ekhono shogger vab shabe ovvostho hoia uthite pare nai. Eto khabar dabar dekhiya khaibe kina bujhite paritechena. tai ovevesh boshoto dekhia lol falaiteche.
shogge pouchaileo mone bishesh shanti nai. gayer katachera milaia giyache bote kintu moner katachera milay nai. emon shomoy shogger dev duter agomon.

devdut: ki bisshojit eto fol mul, lovonio khabarer shomahar ar tumi boshia lol falaitecho.
bisshojit: amay malle keno?
devdut: aha aishob kotha bole na. jibon mrittu shob tahar hatei. tumi tahar priyo boliai to eto taratari shoggo lav hoilo.
bisshojit: ami tar khub prio?
devdut: ta obossoi. emon vaggo koyjoner hoy?
bisshojit: taile amay emone malle keno? amar ma kede shar. vogobaner prio banda jonmo diye she ki emon pap kollo?
devdut: aha shogge eshe morter chinte kore lav nei
bisshojit: kintu ma ki amay vulte parbe? jommo diyeche je. keno mallo amay emon kore. koto kore bollum bisshojit ami bisshojit. chitkar kore bollum. kadte kadte bollum. hatjor kore bollum. paye dhore bollum. chondalpurer shokunera amay thukre thukre khelo ar chondalgulo cheye dekhlo. khan koyek chondal dekhlam photu tulche, video kocche, ar shokunera amay thokracche. porojonme jodi chondalpurei jete hoy taile amay manush kori jeno na pathay tomader paye pori. okhane manusher kono dam nei. ami rastar neri kukur hoteo raji.

bisshojiter akuti shunibar jonno shoggeo kahadigoke paoa jay nai. devdut agei nirobe prosthan koriachen.
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Old December 26, 2012, 04:46 PM
RezaA RezaA is offline
Join Date: December 23, 2012
Posts: 100

Originally Posted by Jadukor
Brokeback mountain er banglish version mone hoise
Aj ei dinkale sheta bhebe naoata bhul na...understandable but I assure you it is not of that sort....lolz
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Old December 26, 2012, 06:50 PM
RezaA RezaA is offline
Join Date: December 23, 2012
Posts: 100

second part of the story


“I think we are secured for now. What do u say Kalu?”
Kalu was looking at the burning forest goat that they killed. It was tasty. Let it burn but not too much. It will last for two three weeks. “Bhaishab, given the fact that we are hiding, what was your point?”
“What do you mean by my point”, Noli looked at him through his corner of his eye. He still hiding his surprise how kalu managed to do the job. Noli himself sometime scared of Kalu.
“Thak ar kotha bole na”, Kalu went to sleep. Noli said to kalu, “mera dost, there is a problem…”
Both of them fell to sleep.
The fire was almost gone. Suddenly a sound of carefully released breath. Something has its eyes on Noli. The wild beast with its big jaw bit Noli’s neck giving no chance of Noli to even open his eyes but Kalu sprinted and climbed a tree. The animal didn’t care. He just carried Noli’s body into the jungle.
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Old December 28, 2012, 12:12 PM
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Roey Haque Roey Haque is offline
Cricket Legend
Join Date: March 26, 2012
Favorite Player: Shakib Al Hassan
Posts: 4,207

Captain's Relief

Bashar had let his team down yet again. The lazy man of international cricket needed to make a dive. His body needed to be parallel to the ground, and arms extended to the fullest, so the bat could reach the crease. Instead, what he did could be best described as taking an evening stroll. Gently ambling down the pitch, when he should have made a frantic effort to get back.

That night, these scenes vividly haunted his mind. "Why can't I get myself to run faster? "Why can't I get myself to dive?" "What will the team think of me, and worse still, what if they take my example?" Bashar was a slow man, but right now his mind was pacing at 100 mph. And the most damaging thought that came to his mind was regarding his own future. "What if the selectors get tired of my laziness, and kick me out of the team? "What will I do?" "How will I provide for my family?" There was pauper's money in first class and list A cricket.

All this worrying made him tense, he went to the bathroom to take a leak. There something bizarre happened. His reflection in the mirror started talking to him.His bladder emptied on the spot! The fright was intolerable. " I'm Habibul Bashar from 2012, Bd national team selector" This was no illusion, Future Bashar had indeed come to relay the message to himself that his future was secure. After some time the captain came to this realization and started to feel much better. "Thank you so much". "Thank you oh so very much". "Now I can continue my sloth like ways".
God has put a permanent curse on the Bd team because they have not gotten rid of Rahim.
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