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Forget Cricket Talk about anything [within Board Rules, of course :) ]

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  #1  
Old July 19, 2013, 01:58 PM
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sum_1 sum_1 is offline
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Talking Funny One Liners

A thread dedicated to funny quotes and saying, with just one small condition - they'll have to be original. So let the fun begin.

I'll start with a few. Laughing is not mandatory. But if you do, laugh at the humour, not in my attempt of it.

Quote:
You know apocalypse has arrived when your internet's upload speed is faster than it's download speed.
Quote:
That awkward moment when you wake up 2 hours earlier than normal, and give a status update about it before going to bed again.
Quote:
I'm not stupid, I just don't want to figure everything out myself.
Quote:
I'm not only what I am, but I'm also what you're not and what someone else might be.
Quote:
You have no right to judge people around you........so send them directly to the executioner.
Quote:
If you think you're sitting idle, remember you're inside a vehicle called Earth moving around 30 km/sec.
Quote:
Never walk alone........hire a crowd.
The last one is a bit of self realisation.
Quote:
My sense of humour is humourously nonsense.
more to come....
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  #2  
Old July 19, 2013, 04:12 PM
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BengaliPagol BengaliPagol is offline
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You know you're dreaming when you see Bangladesh winning a match
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  #3  
Old July 20, 2013, 05:09 AM
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No updates? No problem. I can't be so easily discouraged.

4 more.

Quote:
Stand side by side with the person you're bargaining with. That way, you'll never find yourself in the wrong end of the bargain.

My phones spell chek option does not work.

My favourite song ever: The one that I don't have to hear Justin Bieber sing.

Think you can blame me for everything? Well then blame yourself for meeting me in the first place.
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  #4  
Old July 21, 2013, 11:28 PM
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One World One World is offline
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I wish Binary was not invented, that way we could have a computer to replicate Strings.

Hell is as exothermic as Hawkins is.

If Archimedes did not shout Eureka without clothes on, people would not shout the same after landing in western Europe.

If Persepolis is true then Sarpita is a treacherous citizen.

Newton certainly was short-sighted otherwise he would have found better things than Calculus on the proverbial sea-shore.

The Galileo test for gravity was not verified considering the angular position of the Pissa temple so is Amy's comment about Penny in the tenure episode of TBBT.

Inside a university the physics department is easiest to find as it is always adjacent to an apple orchard.
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Human mind has all the power, when your mind is grind grit wins the battle. Go Bangladesh. Be the world number one in Test Ranking.

Last edited by One World; July 21, 2013 at 11:41 PM.. Reason: Added more
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  #5  
Old July 22, 2013, 12:14 AM
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My one-liner for the open wall on the Birthday of Facebook:

Do not steal or plagiarize ground breaking ideas of other people as the payback can be as large as the entire budget of Gates Foundation.

(Karma is a biatch, really!)
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  #6  
Old July 22, 2013, 02:55 AM
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^^ One World.

4 more....

"Abilities should match circumstances. You being able to fly won't help you survive underwater."

"My love for you is infinite, all you need is to divide by zero."

"The only sure thing your next phone will have is lesser battery."

"Age is in the mind, so when you grow old, please don't mind."
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  #7  
Old July 22, 2013, 03:47 AM
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^^ Love you sig.
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Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest [Al-Qur'an,13:28]
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  #8  
Old July 22, 2013, 04:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sum_1
^^ One World.

4 more....

"Abilities should match circumstances. You being able to fly won't help you survive underwater."

"My love for you is infinite, all you need is to divide by zero."

"The only sure thing your next phone will have is lesser battery."

"Age is in the mind, so when you grow old, please don't mind."


Posted via BC Mobile Edition (Opera Mobile)
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  #9  
Old July 22, 2013, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sum_1
"Abilities should match circumstances. You being able to fly won't help you survive underwater."
^ You may divide that by zero!


Since Rajnikant hit a social pariah with a pariah dog the tail failed to straighten ever.

By his accent Ananta Jalil beat the Great Britain hands down, no need of Shakib/Tamim et. al. (Are you pom Gana)

Travelling in tube light years can only get you near by the hilarity of OW OLs.
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  #10  
Old July 22, 2013, 04:37 PM
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This is what some 50+ year old dude said at my work few weeks ago.

You should get charged with rape and murder, for 'f***ing' around and 'killing' time.
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  #11  
Old July 22, 2013, 10:47 PM
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these one liners are awesome!
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  #12  
Old July 23, 2013, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajfar
This is what some 50+ year old dude said at my work few weeks ago.

You should get charged with rape and murder, for 'f***ing' around and 'killing' time.
I LOL'd at this one.

AHAHAHAHAHA
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  #13  
Old July 23, 2013, 01:19 AM
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Great. Keep them coming guys.

phore more....

"I'm not skinny, I just work out my bones."

"We can be anyone and achieve anything....as long as we stay online."

"I like to dream. I just don't like to pursue them."

"The only consolation I feel being old is that I would've probably been a fan of Justin Bieber if I was young."
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  #14  
Old July 23, 2013, 11:05 AM
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LOL lets keep it clean, no R rated stuff please. At least not in a direct manner.

My FB status today:

"When I was a kid, I used to read books with lots of pictures. It hasn't changed since."
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  #15  
Old July 23, 2013, 12:36 PM
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My citizenship card is delayed due to recent flood in China.
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Human mind has all the power, when your mind is grind grit wins the battle. Go Bangladesh. Be the world number one in Test Ranking.
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  #16  
Old July 24, 2013, 01:14 PM
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another boundary...

"I'm not selfish. When I listen to music, I make sure the whole neighborhood listens as well."

"My favourite exercise in strength training - Power nap."

"There is a fine line between living on the edge and jumping over it."

"Biggest key to a lock? A chainsaw. It even looks like one."
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  #17  
Old July 25, 2013, 01:57 PM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is online now
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"if zeeshan could take one thing to a desert island, it'd be......his mirror"- zeeshan
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  #18  
Old July 26, 2013, 01:05 PM
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a quick 2....

"I have insomnia. But I don't lose any sleep over it."

"I'll always be there for you, but I get to choose where and when."
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  #19  
Old July 29, 2013, 11:39 AM
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hehe boundary again....

"You should always trust your banker....only just not with your money."

"There is no such thing as blessing in disguise. It's simply someone or something trying to screw you up and failing miserably."

"Rome was not built in a day, but the universe was created with a big bang."

"Size does matter. If ants were as big as elephants, they'd have dominated this planet."
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  #20  
Old July 30, 2013, 06:22 AM
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Quotes from Person of Interest :

" In the end we are all alone, and no one is coming to save you"
"What is Pi ? Pi is your entire life from the first word you spoke to everything in your life "
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  #21  
Old August 7, 2013, 06:09 AM
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Another 4 of my own....hehe

"Its not dark. I just turned the black light on."

"Those who live under a rock will leave no stone unturned to remain as thick as one."

"If you were clever enough, you'd have yourself figured it out by now that you're an idiot."

"I'm halfway in taking criticism positively. As of now, I only take the good ones."
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