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  #1  
Old November 17, 2014, 01:11 PM
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Default "CI: A Bangladesh fan's guide to newfound success" -- Extremely stupid blog

Wow, this guy seems extremely upset. But if the intention was to be funny and satirical then it is epic fail too.



Quote:
A Bangladesh fan's guide to newfound success

Success begets success, they say. What they don't tell you is that this rule doesn't necessarily apply when the success in question was achieved playing cricket against a post-2000 era Zimbabwe team. It is all the more important, therefore, that you enjoy it while you can if you're a Bangladeshi fan currently basking in its unfamiliar glow.

Sure, there's no denying that the team has won some noteworthy battles in the limited-overs arena, but then again, nothing quite compares to the giddy self-regard and sense of accomplishment that back-to-back Test wins bring. That said, any new experience can be confusing at first if you don't know what to do with it. With that in mind, we hope you find the following guide useful in helping you make sense of these unprecedented times and proceed confidently into the apparent new dawn.

Be obnoxious
The first thing you'll want to do as a cricket fan who has supped from the cup of success is be obnoxious about it. Traditionally fans from India, Pakistan, England and Australia have ruled the roost in this regard, in some cases elevating online trolling to an art. Well, it's your time to shine now, Bangladesh. Except for one little thing: because the opposition was Zimbabwe, the likelihood of actually finding Zimbabwean cricket fans online to skewer is about as likely as finding Zimbabwean cricket fans offline, at large in the world. They are like the chupacabra, or Cameron White's ability to smile: little more than a rumour or a myth.

Let's hear that roar then
Yep, you guys can finally break out those tiger masks and wear them without the least bit of irony, at least for the time being. This is, of course, assuming you had indeed been wearing them ironically all this while. Surely that was the case? What? All right, look, you don't have to answer that question if you don't want to.

Mascot
You're going to want to find a living mascot of sorts, someone loud in manner and attire, whose sole job is to travel with the team wherever it goes so the cameras have something to gratuitously cut to whenever there is a lull in play. Pakistan has employed Chacha Cricket; Sudhir Kumar Chaudhary has transitioned from Tendulkar mascot to India mascot… or something; New Zealand has Danny Morrison. So pin a tail on some poor sap already and call him a human tiger or something.

It doesn't hurt to be obsessive
With increased success can come increased frustration when things don't go as expected. But just between you and me who's to say the phenomenon of tracking down a player's home and throwing a harmless pebble or two at the windows and shattering them, while traumatised family members sob for their lives, all in retaliation for perceived unmet expectations on the field, isn't actually a healthy measure of the state of the game in the country? Helpful tip: maps to the players' houses to be made available at your nearest tiger-mask dealer.

Cultivate an aura of success
This is easily done. Simply walk around with your shoulders tilted back a goodly number of degrees more than is considered normal, have your shirt be undone a few extra buttons down your freshly clean-shaven chest than is absolutely necessary, and if you're a player, walk into the corporate office of any skin-whitening company to sign a contract: it having long been established across the border in India that the number of players advertising skin-whitening products in a team is in direct proportion to how successful that team thinks it is.

It's never too late to develop delusions of grandeur
Again, much to learn from your neighbours here. With back-to-back Test wins against Zimbabwe under your belt, you are free to start talking, shyly at first, but with steadily increasing conviction of global domination. The World Cup is just around the corner, which means you've earned the right to imagine winning it and bringing the cup home. Throw in the Test Championship mace for good measure. You may not get a better opportunity than this to dream as big.

Keep a straight face
This always comes in handy after a series win against post-2000-era Zimbabwe-type teams, when the local media, followed swiftly by the man on the street, inevitably starts throwing around phrases like "We're back!", "Landmark series victory for the home team", "Were we ever gone when you really think about it?" and, uh, "New dawn". If you find it difficult for any reason to maintain a straight face while uttering the above, simply pull your tiger mask over it and breathe normally. Always remember to secure your own tiger mask first before assisting those seated next to you.

Create unrealistic expectations of your players
It is vital after such a series that you build your players up to such an extent that they start believing in their own hype, enough that they can then be blamed with the adequate amount of vigour for failing when they next play stronger opposition overseas.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/co...ry/799913.html
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  #2  
Old November 17, 2014, 01:55 PM
iDumb iDumb is offline
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I think it is obvious he is trying to be funny and satirical. But got confused himself. Comedy is hard...

He is as bad as bd team this year before zimbabwe.
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  #3  
Old November 17, 2014, 02:03 PM
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Eshen Eshen is offline
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Sounds like a self hating fan....
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  #4  
Old November 17, 2014, 02:05 PM
Shubho Shubho is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iDumb
Comedy is hard...

He is as bad as bd team this year before zimbabwe.
Bang on! That was a feeble attempt at comedy.

Excellent analogy, by the way.
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  #5  
Old November 17, 2014, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshen
Sounds like a self hating fan....
Writer is an Indian, R Rajkumar. So I doubt if he is a fan.
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  #6  
Old November 17, 2014, 02:22 PM
MHRAM MHRAM is offline
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This has to be undoubtedly the most epic failure I have seen for a while.

He is trying to sound funny but in the process he makes a fool of himself. I can understand that he is trying to mock the delusional fans in Bangladesh, but he really has been quite ineffectie in this area
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  #7  
Old November 17, 2014, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mufi_02
Writer is an Indian, R Rajkumar. So I doubt if he is a fan.
That case, what iDumb said
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  #8  
Old November 17, 2014, 05:24 PM
adamnsu adamnsu is offline
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Pathetic piece written by a person who presumes he is comically gifted when infact his mind and his humour is as thick as the pipe running down the commode carrying crap
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  #9  
Old November 17, 2014, 05:49 PM
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you guys didn't get it....Raj is just happy no matter how well other players and nations do it'll always be some guy named kumar to win the ppl's choice award.
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  #10  
Old November 17, 2014, 06:13 PM
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Is it just me or is this piece lampooning the english-indian fans? Reading between the lines, this piece pokes more fun at the indian fans than it does to bd fans.

Anyway, nothing to get upset about.
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  #11  
Old November 17, 2014, 06:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilscoop
I don't find anything funny about it, because it's not. But I don't see anything to be upsetting or insulting about it either. This doesn't deserve a thread. Like iDumb said, comedy is hard.

And sorry to say this, but subcont. people in general have terrible comedy skills. "Your name is Jim, so you don't have to go to gym" type jokers. I used to think I was hilarious. But I'm just as bad as my parents.
The subcontinental people has been spoilt for choice when it comes to comedy. From tagore to Mujtaba Ali, we have many many ways of expressing humor, but they are very subtle. It is very different from the physical, pun-based and in your face comedy of the western literature. So it is understandable that generally westerners dont get our humour.
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  #12  
Old November 17, 2014, 10:18 PM
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Two things I will never understand in my life

1. Why Indians love mocking with the emotions of Bangladeshi fans?
2. Why rest of Bangladeshi people loves mocking with Noakhali people?

There must be some similarity of these two. If you are an Indian fan, you surely enjoyed this Rajkumars article the same way If you are from outside Noakhali, you must have enjoyed when someone else was making fun with them.

Sarcasm is good as long as everyone enjoys, but I can remember growing up in Bangladesh, small children to grown-ups, everyone loves to ridicule someone with their physical disadvantages and financial difficulties. This is what is in our subcontinent culture; we didn’t learn to make fun “respecting” all listeners. Don’t believe me? Just ask any sufferer of polio or any other physical disabilities about how they enjoyed their school life. Mockery wasn't from just the fellow students alone, it was also from our respected Teachers ! .

On topic, if you consider our subcontinent culture, articles like these are not bad jokes, just wait and see, many Indian fans will come and praise this article. If you are a Bangladeshi fan, surely you’ll not enjoy it, just because you are the one that’s been teased. - My 2 cents.
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  #13  
Old November 17, 2014, 11:21 PM
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Grating piece of failed comedy.
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  #14  
Old November 18, 2014, 10:06 AM
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কত রবি জলে রে? কে বা আঁখি মেলে রে?
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  #15  
Old November 18, 2014, 04:37 PM
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These guys are the reason why we end up supporting non subcontinent teams against India.

Posted via BC Mobile Edition (Android)
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  #16  
Old November 18, 2014, 11:13 PM
MHRAM MHRAM is offline
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Honestly speaking the Indian cricketers themselves have not been half bad. Yes they are a big arrogant but I don't them see them asserting any kind of "bossiness" on our players.

It has always been their cricket board and media that makes my head boil. There are some fans too who see us as abominations.
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  #17  
Old November 18, 2014, 11:17 PM
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Yawn..Koto kissu shunlam. Boycott Toycott kotto kotha bollo. Ekhon ei shob daal bhaat. Notun kisu kou to bhai..
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  #18  
Old November 19, 2014, 04:18 PM
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Unfunny. Goes on to show not everything that comes out of CI are gemworthy. (not gemsbok as in the animal)
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  #19  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:23 PM
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Don't think the blog was aimed at us to be honest. It was a dig at their own fans
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  #20  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:32 PM
iDumb iDumb is offline
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Jadukor, how did you become a moderator again? I been reading your posts a lot lately, you don't sound that smart.
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  #21  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilscoop
I don't find anything funny about it, because it's not. But I don't see anything to be upsetting or insulting about it either. This doesn't deserve a thread. Like iDumb said, comedy is hard.

And sorry to say this, but subcont. people in general have terrible comedy skills. "Your name is Jim, so you don't have to go to gym" type jokers. I used to think I was hilarious. But I'm just as bad as my parents.
I found it funny.
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  #22  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iDumb
Jadukor, how did you become a moderator again? I been reading your posts a lot lately, you don't sound that smart.
Through series of skype interviews and aptitude tests. Are you still unemployed? Want the moderator job here?
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  #23  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:39 PM
iDumb iDumb is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadukor
Through series of skype interviews and aptitude tests. Are you still unemployed? Want the moderator job here?
Aptitude test? haha sure. Amar to mone hoi skype e apnar chehara deikha job diya diche. U got used bro...

Listen I am unemployed by choice and this website can't afford me
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  #24  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iDumb
Aptitude test? haha sure. Amar to mone hoi skype e apnar chehara deikha job diya diche. U got used bro...

Listen I am unemployed by choice and this website can't afford me
So basically i can infer the following:
1.Ami aagey buddhiman chilam. Karon latest post porar por tomar mone hoisey ami moderator hoilam kemney kintu aagey aita mone hoinai.

2. Ami dekhtey khub handsome

I will take it.
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  #25  
Old November 19, 2014, 10:42 PM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilscoop
Funny how crap info only publishing the praising comments. I left a comment saying, that didn't make me laugh once. Yet to be published. One comment that was published is probably from the writers relatives.
Not necessarily. They will publish criticism if the tone is right. Knowing you, you probably came across the rude person we know of here. lol

j/k man
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