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  #101  
Old July 10, 2004, 09:35 AM
krazy4koshi krazy4koshi is offline
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Default smokin

2 men were walkin on a street smoking wen they passed a n article posted to a lamp abt 'how smoking harms'.. "oh," said one man, "i've read so much about smoking causing various illnesses that i've decided to give up reading!"

p.s. may sound corny.. but i found it funny
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  #102  
Old July 10, 2004, 12:27 PM
TigerFan TigerFan is offline
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AgentSmith's last one is funny!

[Edited on 10-7-2004 by TigerFan]
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  #103  
Old July 10, 2004, 05:29 PM
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Carte Blanche Carte Blanche is offline
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I believe Agentsmith's last joke has been modified by Alpin to suit the Bengali readers. The real joke (which has been around for years now) is like... the guy is a player, and the younger sister tries to seduce him. He walks off towards his car, and his future father in law hugs him with tears of joy in his eyes: "We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter".

Moral of the story: Always keep your condom in the car.
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  #104  
Old July 11, 2004, 04:45 AM
mzia mzia is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Carte Blanche
I believe Agentsmith's last joke has been modified by Alpin to suit the Bengali readers.
And that was perfectly graded….
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  #105  
Old July 14, 2004, 09:52 PM
satan_the_king satan_the_king is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by nasif
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.

"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his rear off. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says: "Make them all ugly again."



Keep posting a joke for each day...


NICE CRAB JOKE MAN
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  #106  
Old July 14, 2004, 09:56 PM
satan_the_king satan_the_king is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hasib
An American came to watch a game of cricket. He watched the first over where the batsmen scored two runs. At the end of the over the Umpire called "Over" At this the American got up and said "Nice game, but it's a bit short".

Really cute joke man
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  #107  
Old July 14, 2004, 10:15 PM
satan_the_king satan_the_king is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by mzia
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two
weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a
letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter
addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to
President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused
that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy
a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear
to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat:
down to write a thank you note to the Lord, which read

Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you
had to send it through Washington D.C. and,
as usual, those jerks deducted $95....


reallly funny
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  #108  
Old July 15, 2004, 02:28 PM
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Nasif Nasif is offline
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  #109  
Old July 15, 2004, 06:35 PM
TigerFan TigerFan is offline
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ha ha ha nasif bhai were did you get it?
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  #110  
Old July 16, 2004, 09:01 PM
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Nasif Nasif is offline
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Here is another one

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  #111  
Old July 17, 2004, 01:25 AM
TigerFan TigerFan is offline
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little funny!
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  #112  
Old July 19, 2004, 06:18 AM
mzia mzia is offline
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Default Embarrassed Policeman

A California policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seatbelt, he had just won $5,000 in the statewide road safety competition.

And as a friendly query he asked, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled the woman in the passenger seat. "He's a real jerk when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat, who took one look at the Policeman and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk in back and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"
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  #113  
Old July 19, 2004, 12:12 PM
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BushidoTiger BushidoTiger is offline
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Default Yet another \'Pope & the Rabbi\' joke

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to
convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish
Community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious
debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they
could stay in Italy, if the Pope won, they would have to leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged but wise Rabbi, Moishe, to
represent them in the debate. However, as Moishe spoke no Italian and
the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent"
debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other
for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three
fingers. Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, that
Rabbi Moishe was too clever and that the Jews could stay.

Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the
Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that
there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved
my finger to show him that God was all around us. He responded by
pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.
I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all
our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.
He had me beaten and I could not continue."

Meanwhile the Jewish community were gathered around Rabbi Moishe.
"How did you win the debate?" they asked.

"I haven't a clue," said Moishe. "First, he said to me that we had
three days to get out of Italy, so I said to him, 'Up yours!' Then he
tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews. and I said
to him, 'We're staying right here.'"

"And then what," asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Moishe. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."
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  #114  
Old July 19, 2004, 12:23 PM
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Nasif Nasif is offline
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hahaha
punch line was really funny!
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  #115  
Old July 19, 2004, 03:41 PM
TigerFan TigerFan is offline
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ha ha ha ha ha
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  #116  
Old July 19, 2004, 07:31 PM
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Navarene Navarene is offline
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Who declared our independence? was it Sheikh Mujib? Was it Ziaur Rahman? Nope, neither of the above two. But believe it or not, it was none other than great Mr. Mokhles!!!

Chapa baji koto prokar o ki ki, ta Jonab Mokhles-er kach theke shikhe nin

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  #117  
Old July 20, 2004, 12:54 AM
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Zobair Zobair is offline
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Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave.
The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.

As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin--but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."
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  #118  
Old July 20, 2004, 01:22 AM
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Nasif Nasif is offline
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pompous ei joke-ta bhujhlam na

shotti, kisui bujhi nai
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  #119  
Old July 20, 2004, 01:36 AM
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Zobair Zobair is offline
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nasif...the pilots were actually blind! not that funny eh?!
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  #120  
Old July 20, 2004, 10:31 AM
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Unknown Unknown is offline
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The humour isnt in the fact that the pilots were actually blind...

Quote:
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."
The humour lies in the fact that the pilots would actually take off after hearing the passengers screaming.... hence if they scream too late the pilots would be unable to take off... but the joke is a bit incomplete because it doesnt consider the landing situation
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  #121  
Old July 20, 2004, 10:43 AM
Arnab Arnab is offline
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Haha! Thinking about what will happen when the plane is landing makes it an even more twisted joke. Classic.
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  #122  
Old July 20, 2004, 10:55 AM
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Unknown Unknown is offline
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When it comes to landing....I was thinking that maybe the guide dog takes the cockpit?:duh:

[Edited on 20-7-2004 by Unknown]
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  #123  
Old July 20, 2004, 09:34 PM
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Carte Blanche Carte Blanche is offline
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Haha pompous, that was hilarious.
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  #124  
Old July 22, 2004, 01:49 AM
mzia mzia is offline
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Default Uneven profession amalgamation.

There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "St. Peter, my fiancé and I are very happy to be in heaven, but we miss very much the opportunity to have celebrated our wedding vows.

Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?" St. Peter looked at him and said, "I'm sorry. I've never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I'm afraid you'll have to talk to the Lord Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment for two weeks from Wednesday." Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord Almighty, where they repeat their request.

The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, "I'll tell you what, wait five years and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again." Well, five years went by, and the couple still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again, the Lord God Almighty said, "please you must wait another five years and then I will consider your request."

Finally, they come before the Lord Almighty the third time, ten years after their first request, and ask the Lord again. This time the Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry. This Saturday at 2:00 p.m.,

But then ... after the couple were married a few short months had passed, and then suddenly realized what a terrible mistake they had committed, and just couldn't stay married to one another.

So they made another appointment to see the Lord Almighty, this time to ask if they could get a divorce in heaven. When the Lord heard their request, he looked at them, and said, "Look, it took us ten years to find a priest up here in heaven;
Do you have any idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer in heaven?"
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  #125  
Old July 22, 2004, 01:28 PM
Cricket46 Cricket46 is offline
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mzia that was funny.
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