Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Updated: Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Scabbards and seax: beating India at their own game

Zeeshan Mahmud

In ancient India a ritualistic display of murder used to take place in the form of a martial art called kalaripayuttu. Mimicking each others moves in graceful aerodynamic style, the combatants armed with a sword and a shield would attack each other like pair of mating grebe. Duped would be the observer, however, for to assume its validity. For it was nothing but a carefully choreograph plan.

Such is the culture of Indian cricketers. Excorcizing this swashbuckling personae they will come with all guns blazing. For India and her one billion devotees, nothing would be more dishonourable than getting knocked out. Again. They will not- shall not- bow down this easily. They will fight to the hilt. Cricket is a national sport of India, one can say, a religion. And for to beat them in their own game, all scabbards and seax must be unleashed and we would have to strategize with the display of our own array of armoury.


Chop'em while alive. If India bats first, one might as well bet on them batting us out of the game and go to bed. So keep them around 250ish mark. Anything above 300 will be a psychological nightmare. Bangladesh's highest successful chase is 323, but that was against Scotland this year in World Cup at Nelson. So if India crosses that mark, we will have plenty of buzz about the statistical improbability and what not.

The curved sword or "scimitar" was widespread throughout Middleeast from the time of the Ottoman, early examples dating to the ninth century Abbasid era's Khurashan. Bangladesh should not hold anything back.


Seax is an Old English word for knife. That is, the 'smallest of details'. Small things matter. Strict to script if batting first. Rotate strike. Forget about milestones.  Exploit PP. And go berserk in the last seven or so.

And when fielding, set attacking field. Choke their singles. Keep close eye on rrr. And let the pressure mount. Don't do anything fancy.



Tamim Iqbal who hadn't had much success in the cup since his England Tests centuries needs to fire

Francisca is a throwing knife used by Germanic people and Franks at the time of the Merovingians. Thus, throw at them all. Introduce new spinners. Soften them up with Rubel. Unsettle them switching odd ends. You know...the usual.



Literally, chain-scythe, kusarigama is a Japanese weapon. Basically its a flail weapon. Don't let past or future sensations get in the act. If flail them you must, know they studied Tamim to details and anything wild sassayed down and slashed at by him will be sure to be taken 'care of'.

We desperately need Tamim. We also need Shakib's performance. And if it makes one feel better...we flailed our opposition without these two firing in batting, so imaaaagine the possiblities.


Let their own theory backfire. Don't fight the heavyness, instead of being balled and chained to the floor by the bullies, let their own ego swallow them up. If they build a World Record parntership, dent it. You have done it before against Sachin in Asia Cup. Let their milestones get in their way...

And oh -Joker voice- as for Rohit. Well, when Rohit got his 209, so did Faulkner fire. And when Coventry got his milestone, we won the bloody match.

And finally the ever popular,


The beauty of nunchakus is the fluidty of permitting multiple blows. In batting they often have surprised bowlers with multiple continuous attacks beforing perishing to their own strikes. However, much often Bangladesh hasn't taken advantage of going for the jugular (notably 6/5) and instead lose from winning position, instead of winning from losing position.

But things have changed. Things are about to change. I say settle for nothing. The lowest score in first-class is 6 by the B's.

I say beat THAT and make a mockery out of the tournament.