Bangladeshi student in USA....life's hard

[aosaif]

Hey guys,

I don't wanna banter on and complain and bore you to death. I just want some advise from those of you who left your home country and went abroad for studies. Actually I grew up in Papua New Guinea, and after high school I did my freshman year at the University of Iowa. IThings got quite settled in Iowa and I was feeling ok about being there, but then the transfer to Georgia Institute of Technology came along and so now I'm here in Atlanta during my sophomore year.

I reckon I can cope with missing family, my country, desi food, regular cricket etc, but now I'm starting all over again at a new uni. On my floor (on-campus) most ppl are sophomores and they already know each other. I hoped I could mix with the indian dudes (so many) but they all speak hindi with each other and it seems they don't wanna put any effort in welcoming me. I've met some bangladeshis, but all of them seem to think I'm seeking some kind of advantage from them (wierd bd mentality?) and don't really want to keep contact.

I think I will figure out how to have a good time here sooner or later. Lots of cricket happening and rugby and soccer which i love to play also. I'm gonna apply for a research intership (i'm a biomedical engineering major) so hopefully I'll get that. I try to pray 5 times a day, read hadith and Qur'an which are great comforts for me, alhamdulillah. But I would definitely appreciate any advice you can give me, because at this very moment I'm feeling very alone and very bad about coming here (same feeling i experienced in freshman year at Iowa).

This website is great. Thanks to every1 for their comments on anything, coz although i don't post that much, i read many of your comments, whether cricket-related or not. Thanks also to bangladeshlive for their coverage of bangladesh matches, which i could not do without.

PS: although i grew up in Papua New Guinea, I still regard myself as bangladeshi, although my bengali ain't that good.

[Zunaid]

PNG!!?!?!?! The nfirst deshi I know from PNG! Were you in Port Moresby or otehr parts?

I can empathaize with you. Though, I came to the states as a grad stident - the feeling of being an outsider the firrts semester or year can be hard.

the key is - make friends with everyone...not just to deshis and indians/pakistanis...

mix, mix, mix

[aosaif]

yeh port moresby

and yes....definitely will mix. Actually most of my friends are white americans (so maybe i have a problem mixing with my own race!)

Edited on, August 25, 2005, 5:11 AM GMT, by aosaif.

[Orpheus]

You are a biomedical engineering student. I think you have the best opportunity to make friends. I mean you will be taking engineering classes with the same people over and over again.

Also you will be taking some Biology courses, Organice/Biochem etc (depending on your track) where you will have the opportunity to meet a LOT of ppl from those majors (a lot of desi girls in these fields ) People are always eager to meet new people.

Since you are somewhat religious and have knowleadge about it, you might want to join the MSA. Usually those people are friendly (atleast on the surface). And get INVOLVED in it. You will have plenty of desi friends and some dirty arab friends as well. Usually those group do a lot of things together.. like playing cricket, vollyball etc. And they wont be talking in hindi

Finally, Are you living in dorm? Then get drunk, run in the hallway naked and next thing you know - you will have plenty of friends!! ok maybe not but worth a try.

Edited on, August 25, 2005, 5:28 AM GMT, by Orpheus.

[Orpheus]

p.s. Don't mix too much - cuz you might fall in love with the wrong person and then next thing you know is she is flirting with your white american friends... then life will really be hard!! Good bye Biomedical, Hello accounting!

ok that was an attemted joke, I don't really care to tell you the truth!

Edited on, August 25, 2005, 5:31 AM GMT, by Orpheus.

[TheWatcher]

It may be the environment in the dorm that making you feel so isolated (personally, I never considered living in a dorm an option for me). You may consider living off campus, may be around a maszid where you can find more of your fellow Muslims to interact with.

[TheWatcher]

Mixing with second generation Arabs is not a bad idea, most of them have some kind of allegiance to Islam, speak most of the time in English and carry less cultural trash. But, as Orpheus said, be careful, some of them are really screwed up badly.

[Banglatiger84]

The following tips are suggested entirely on my personal experiences

1) As TheWatcher suggested, try staying off campus, it will be cheaper, and you will be spared from dorm lunch of peas and potatoes. Do choose a roommate carefully.

2) Try going to the campus Masjid often. You will definitely meet many like-minded people there. In particular during Ramadan, theres generally a very good atmosphere, specially if they have daily Iftar dinners like they did in Austin, so they should have in Gatech also!

3) Try to make as many acquaintances as possible, regardless of their ethnicity or religion.. Notice I said acq. not friends. By knowing many people you are more likely to stumble upon likely friends. For me, the main sources of acq. were the Masjid as well as my classes.

4) Try to participate in sports.

5)Lastly, if you do land your research position and take a full load every semester, you will be pretty busy and simply wont get time to be depressed.

[allrounder]

Here is my take:

Stay on campus because dorms have lots of social and sports activities which you cannot do off campus. Definitely mingle with others not just whites or desis. Become member or particiapte on events of various campus organizations. Volunteer and get involved with an organization you like. You will find many organizations on campus if you visit the student union or similar office. Usually once the semester starts you will see lots of activities on campus for you to get involved and students to make friends with. You just have to see the things around and step up to get involved and make friends.

[Tigers_eye]

Great advice from lots of people. My two cents:
1. Live off Campus preferably close to the campus mosque.
2. If after studying (bio-med is no joke) you have time, work at college library, cafeteria or somewhere in campus. Sometimes the housekeeping is needed (like cleaning and vacuuming class rooms, hall rooms). Earning money can always help you understand how hard it is to get money.

Hotlanta: They have a BD Cricket/tennis/badminton tournaments every summer (no Indians or Pakis are included). Most of them are professionals with family. It is hard for them to contact you on social gatherings. You must keep the contact. They have same aged kids with whom you can be friends. And there are over 10K BD'is living there. Most living outside the downtown area a little bit far from your campus.

Edited on, August 25, 2005, 2:36 PM GMT, by Cats_eye.

[newbie]

Hi aosaif

Have you gotten in touch with the BSA at GA Tech?
I am GA Tech faculty and sending my info on u2u. Hopefully we can get in touch. Please let me know how I can help. Also as Cats_eye mentioned there are plenty of BD cricketing opportunities and other BD socials in Atlanta, but they are usualy far from campus. The BSA might be a good place to get started.

[howzatt!]

my suggestion would be live off campus but close to campus. living far from campus may hamper your interest in education(from my experience).
atfirst i also had trouble making friends(i'm a quiet person). then i started going to masjid regualry and made some friends there. but none of them lasted for too long as they either moved out of the area or got busy with work or studies, then one person trying to get me invloved with tabligh made me almost stop going to the masjid (man those ppl are annoying).
then i made a friend who had a lot of friends and he introduced me to his other friends. thats how i made quite a few friends. so my suggestion would be to find a good friend who has a lot of friends LOL(funny but worked for me).

Edited on, August 25, 2005, 6:19 PM GMT, by howzatt!.

[naheyan]

By the way how is U of IOWA? I m plannin to apply for undergrads.............

[allrounder]

Why are so many people opposed to on campus living? Other than it is expensive than off campus what other disadvantages are there from living on campus? For Grad student off campus makes sense, but while undergrad I think on campus is very enjoying student life and a lot to experience that you do not experience while living off campus.

[Fazal]

I have also seen the same trend here. besides its a bit expepensive, the other reason can be:
- Using common bathrooms
- Meningitis
- Having too much good time with other activities and thus flunking the exam
- etc
- etc

[Tigers_eye]

http://www.uiowa.edu/

Ahh! the hawkeye land. Nothing but barren corn fields. Iowa City is too cold for me. This season they would only talk about 9-3 season.

[AsifTheManRahman]

interesting. i had convinced more than half of my grade 12 class (i went to highschool in Bangladesh) that i was from Port Moresby and learnt the language when i arrived in Dhaka. yeah, they bought it. don't remember whi i'd chosen png though. it probably just came out of my mouth like that.

i guess the key is, as Z man pointed out, to mix. dont keep yourself confined within the community of south asians. it'll take around a semester or so for you to cope with the new surroundings.

getting drunk and running in the hallway naked is also a very good option, as orphy pointed out.

[mwrkhan]

getting drunk and running in the hallway naked is also a very good option, as orphy pointed out.

Digombor matal der ke na pochondo kore?

[aosaif]

Hey guys, thanks for all your advice and support (and humour which is just as essential). Means a lot to me. I'll be spending most of the next few days studying and posting messages on this site!

Wow ATMR, you jus picked Port Moresby outta nowhere? We gotta meet man, fly over here for a holiday.

[reinausagi]

PS: although i grew up in Papua New Guinea, I still regard myself as bangladeshi, although my bengali ain't that good.

I've got news for you, my lonely friend. You English 'ain't' much better neither!

Just kidding! Just kidding!!!


Imagine the loneliness, boredom and isolation of those who came here before (Al Gore invented) the internet. Apart from the practical advice rendered earlier by others, I will add, that this forum is now global in every sense of the word. Log on any time of the day or night and you are liable to find some one who wants to talk cricket or something. When you are at your proverbial wit's end (or, even if you are not) log on and let your fingers do the walking..........

[Orpheus]

before (Al Gore invented) the internet

I know it's a very popular joke but Al Gore did have contribution in spreading interenet and in some other aspects.... Too bad the whole thing backfired. But if you guys didn't know here is something.... After Al gore said that he invented the internet, George W. Bush was asked what he thinks about it... Bush said:

"Well if Al Gore invented the internet, why does all the adress start with W W W"

[Faceoff]

tau beta pi, golden key are good organizations to join.

[aosaif]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

NO Greek organizations for me!

Drink
Party
Girls
etc
..............oh maybe we'll do some HW together on sunday

and this goes on 24/7.........or so it seems to an outsider

[AsifTheManRahman]

>>Girls

hmm...u don't seem to like them much, do you?

well...no need to worry: i'm pretty sure there are many other clubs where you'll find birds of the same feather

[imtiaz82]

Damn! How come I didn't think of getting ideas from BC members when I came to Urbana Champaign from Dhaka 4 years back :umm

I would go with Banglatiger84's ideas, that's pretty much what I did during my college life..

Edited on, August 26, 2005, 10:14 PM GMT, by nayeem007.