how to deal with "break-up"...."returning of love"....and the final end - Page 2

rafiq · #26 February 14, 2005, 02:45 PM

I think SS needs some fresh perspectives from female fans of Banglacricket. Not sure if any of the advice he has gotten so far from the guys will help!

Fazal · #27 February 14, 2005, 05:53 PM

Give a flower to a stanger today like

Fazal · #28 February 14, 2005, 05:59 PM

But be aware of incomming thappor also, like ...

fab · #29 February 14, 2005, 06:13 PM

It's a bit difficult to give any advice after hearing just one side of the story... But judging by SS's overall character as displayed on this board (since we have nothing else to go by), my suggestion to him would be to get his parents to hook him up with a sweet, polite, submissive middle-class BD girl. Best solution for HIM since he wants simplicity.

PS: Gulshan er bus na dhorey Rampurar bus dhorley oshubida achey?

SS · #30 February 14, 2005, 07:46 PM

lolz Mr. fab
I know my characteristics and flaws put me over here...Like all of you guys, I also loved but may be it's just me that turned her away. But I don't think it's just my 100% fault, that she looked for alternatives and went for the "good" ones. As a true believer of love, I requested to God to show the real truth and also always wanted to see true loves remain foreva. After two and half years she came back, realizing...I don't give myself credit or really happy to see her admitting about real love. But I can't just accept or tolerate the fact that she left me for some reason!!! and also could not accept myself taking destructive ways to solve the problems. So, today I decided to talk to her for the last time, may be we will talk again someday, but today I will tell her that I can't marry her because she doesn't love me and came back just for the fact that she didn't get the love from others that I had for her. And on top of it, I think I am not too good for her because my life and dignity went to the lowest level due to my activities. I will wish her all the best and will hope that she gets a nicer man in her life with whom she will have a happier life in future.

That will be the end. I am the culprit who made the love, who cherished the love, who will bring an end to it too.

Edited on, February 15, 2005, 12:47 AM GMT, by SS.

SS · #31 February 14, 2005, 08:00 PM

A tragic end will about to happen on the night of Valentine lolz

there were more stories to it like all of you have in your lives. All stories are unique, some are joyful, some are painful. I guess pre-marital love was always against our socio structure especially if there are more restrictions like religions, age, family background, education. But all those loves are not accepted in society and considered as a symbol of straying from right path. Still it will continue to happen among us and our next generations. I guess that's how the lovers suffer and deal with life and situations. It can be a sad ending or a happy ending, but Valentine day will always symbolize the love, affection and importance of true love in this everchanging world.

Arnab · #32 February 14, 2005, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rafiq
I think SS needs some fresh perspectives from female fans of Banglacricket. Not sure if any of the advice he has gotten so far from the guys will help!

Obviously. Is this from personal experience before you married? Or just a result of continuous conditioning by our bhabi over all these years?

Edited on, February 15, 2005, 1:14 AM GMT, by Arnab.

reinausagi · #33 February 14, 2005, 08:20 PM

Quote:

A tragic end will about to happen on the night of Valentine lolz

Enough of this kind of negative talk. Time to get back on the horse. (Different horse/mare... of course). A year from now this incident will be a distant memory.. an ever receeding speed bump in your rear view mirror if you will.

Arnab · #34 February 14, 2005, 08:30 PM

I think SS needs to be slapped back into reality. I couldn't bear to read the last two posts. Only men are capable of writing such abstract bullshit. Women are much more realistic, as shown by fab and reina here.

Ehsan · #35 February 14, 2005, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fab
PS: Gulshan er bus na dhorey Rampurar bus dhorley oshubida achey?

Yes, yes! Kono oshubida nai! I suggested the same thing to him.

SS,

Cheer up, this is not an end to your life. Get real, that girl didn't love you back, so she should mean nothing for you. You should not be going through all this agony, that you just talked about. As I told you before, think it as if she was not the right girl for you. There is no point of even remembering this girl, she will bring nothing else other than pain for you. So, wait for your Ms. Right!

And as soon as you find your Ms. Right, marry her! You both will then live happlily ever after.

Edited on, February 15, 2005, 1:40 AM GMT, by ehsan.

Ehsan · #36 February 14, 2005, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arnab
I couldn't bear to read the last two posts. Only men are capable of writing such abstract bullshit. Women are much more realistic, as shown by fab and reina here.

Universal Truth!

Canada_R · #37 February 14, 2005, 10:15 PM

SS, Choose your opium!
-------------------------------

If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was.

Shakespeare:
if you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide
yourself for her.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget
her.

Patient:
IF you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until
she comes back.

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
*If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again,
repeat*

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be
free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that....

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for
re-installation fees
but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your
relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show her the plan ....
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never
give up!

Physician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If she doesn't, either there's friction higher
than the force or the angle
of collision between two objects did not
synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ....
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 +
(cos(52/34X)) x
5Y^(-0.5)c) where c
is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays' style:
If You Love Someone,
Set it free,
If It Comes Back, It is Yours
If It Doesn't, Hunt it Down and Kill It...!!! OR
PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN
ILLEGAL

If you love someone
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???
CARELESS IDIOT!!!

Canada_R · #38 February 14, 2005, 10:28 PM

Listen guys! If SS was my younger brother I would slap him and say calm down. That slap is to show love :-) This is not the only good (?) girl in this world. I have a long experience in relationship and my experience tells me this is not an ideal situation for SS. It is better for him to decide now than later. It becomes more complicated as days go by...

SS, I dont know how old are you, but I can guess you are younger than me. Life has more to offer than just love from a young lady. Go out young man and do the things that you like to do. Forget about this woman and get involve with other friends or activities. Because if you decide to leave road will be bumpy and rough, at least in the beginning. Tell yourself you are a nice man and you can do and deserve better than this! Good luck.

Edited on, February 15, 2005, 4:53 AM GMT, by Canada_R.

Ahmed_B · #39 February 15, 2005, 03:14 AM

SS.. for some reason I remembered a Ghazal while going thorugh your posts and the replies...
Just tried to translate the lines as much as I could:

"...Sar Jhukaoge to Patthar Devta ho jayega..
When you bow your head in front of a Rock.. even that will start playing GOD..
Itna mat Chaho usse... wo devta ho jayega..
don't desire him/her so much that he/she becomes a GOD..
Hum bhi dariya hai hame... apna hunar malum hai..
I am a free river.. and I know my elegance..
Jiss taraf bhi chal parenge.. rastaa ho jayega..
any direction I want to walk.. paths wil reveal themselves for me.."

(-Quots from Jagjeet's Ghazal).

Personally, as I feel: When two persons don't have equal respect for each other... relationships dont work well. Love is not just about emotions.. Its about respect as well. The rest is upto u to realize..

Best of luck my friend.

Edited on, February 15, 2005, 8:18 AM GMT, by crickethorizon.

SS · #40 February 15, 2005, 07:11 PM

I talked with her last night for a while...it seems she came back to me..but I am too scared to accept her...I am not sure how can I marry her now!!! what if...I don't wana even say the word ... She told me to know her now as a new person after two years...what can I do....I told her about my concern but I still gave her permission to approach somehow to her parents about marriage!! I guess I am a total loser to tell her doing that...I guess I should just jump from the building

Ehsan · #41 February 15, 2005, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SS
I am not sure how can I marry her now!!! what if...I don't wana even say the word

What are you exactly trying to say?

Quote:

Originally posted by SS
I told her about my concern

What concern? Expand on it plz.

Quote:

Originally posted by SS
but I still gave her permission to approach somehow to her parents about marriage!! I guess I am a total loser to tell her doing that

That's like a man! Now, make sure she really loves you before you get married.

Quote:

Originally posted by SS
I guess I should just jump from the building

That is very pathetic. Don't ever think of it, life is hard but who goes through all these difficulties is a man! And know what? If everything works out, i.e. her and your parents come to an agreement and you jump off the building then it would be a total mess!

Anyways, wishing you all the best!

And don't forget to invite all of us - your well-wishers in your wedding.

SS · #42 February 16, 2005, 06:51 AM

I guess this topic should come to an end. Thank you Mr. ehsan for your best wish. Unfortunately there will be no wedding for now so, no invitations lolz

I finally talked with her last night, it was pretty easy for both of us..though I was burning as if I am back the day she told me that she is just a friend and no lover two years ago. She came back, and I appreciate that it was atleast a love may be not real true love. But it's just the big difference and gap we had while dealing with life and view points, that's why first me and now both of us agreed it should be just like the way it is right now, further relationship would only bring trouble. I am not sure if I did wrong again to tell her that compatibility among us is near to zero due to the fact that we all want to establish and stick with our opinions of life. I guess love is necessary for marriage and after marriage life, but it is not the only one thing that should be the basis of marriage life.

It was a rush, a quick decision making within two weeks of time given by her, to let her know if I can marry her. Like everything in my life, I became confused again lolz but finally I told her that I can't marry her two nights ago. She was bit annoyed(lolz like many of u guys about me) for my indecisions to come up with a final answer. I appreciate that she came back and she just left me without discussing with me about the problems. Now, I tried little harder to understand her and the problems; then took decision. I didn't take the decision to take revenge, I took it because of the difference in view points of life. But I sure got lots of love and feelings for her because when I said no to her, I felt like the whole earth came down.

I guess that will be the end for all the confusions. not sure if the end was good or not(again i am not sure lolz), may be it will be lost like the other posts in banglacricket. Thank you people for all your supports and comments.

shujan · #43 February 16, 2005, 07:33 AM

Navarene · #44 February 16, 2005, 08:05 AM

Awww...I thought its gonna be a happy ending!

Thank heaven human mind is not monogamous at the last end. Eventually her memories will get fade off and your polygamous mind will go for the new one who loves you more

Ehsan · #45 February 16, 2005, 08:32 AM

Ss,
So you gonna marry her eventually or is this the end of your love story? Now, when she wants to marry you, why do you think she does not love you back?

say · #46 February 16, 2005, 11:16 AM

have we tried the pagla baba'r mazar or pakhi bhai's consultations?