A Proposal...

[shaad]

What with Orphy's thread on your ideal attraction, I thought I wouldn't hurt to post a video of a romantic proposal made by this chap from Tamil Nadu. I think it's both rather amusing and charming actually in an earnest sort of way. And I particularly love the cameraman walking behind a pillar as our protagonist says, "I know there are many barriers between us."

By the way, before you start making fun of his attire, realize that the double shirt fashion is a fad started there by this movie.

[Naimul_Hd]

his passion speaks louder than his typical indian accent !

[Orpheus]

This is not a marriage proposal, he is asking for a one night stand dude.

He says something in the line of he finds the place beautiful but he doesn't wanna be here all the time.... and his feelings are similar for her.

In summary: the man is poor but dreams big. He is going after a girl that likes BMW whereas he cant even afford to buy a ticket for BMW show. LOL -

Last time I pitched similar line to a Manhattan rich girl, she gave me 2 dollars more than the taxi fare and told me "good luck but next time pay attention to your driving and buy a breath mint".

[Zunaid]

I am interested in knowing whether Shaad said yes or no.

[Zeeshan]

This was actually very sweet and sincere. May be he is not the most articulate of all but yeah...it was real.

[Orpheus]

Well at least Zeeshan said yes. The Tamil chap might have to settle for less.

[Zeeshan]

This pretty much encapsualtes all my interaction with the girls...

[goru]

Originally Posted by Zunaid
I am interested in knowing whether Shaad said yes or no.

And pwnage of the day award goes to...

[FaHiMa]

In the Words of Kanye and Adam Levine---

I heard 'em say, nothin ever promised tomorrow today.
And nothing lasts forever but be honest babe, it hurts but it may be the only way.

LOL


Honesty goes a long way!

[shaad]

Originally Posted by Zunaid
I am interested in knowing whether Shaad said yes or no.

Heh . I retired from the field quite a while back Zunaid, and my wife is far too possessive to share. Besides, our Tamil friend seems to prefer BMW-wallahs/walis, not a public transport user like me -- so perhaps the question should be addressed to Beamer?

[shaad]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
This pretty much encapsualtes all my interaction with the girls...

Just make sure you don't get the ring engraved before popping the question . Something similar happened to an acquaintance of mine, albeit only in a restaurant, not before an entire stadium. He couldn't return the ring and had to settle for what he could get from a pawnshop.

Personally, I've never quite understood the desire for such melodramatic gestures (far too many of which seem to involve desis) for an act that I think should be more intimate and personal. Is it because they believe that having the masses cheer them on will unduly pressure the girl to accept their proposal? Seems rather unfair to me.

[Orpheus]

Speaking of public transportation, ever noticed 90% of the women there do not have a ring. Why is that? I am sure majority of them are married.

[goru]

For a change, I want a girl to propose to a guy in front of millions of people... and fail.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by shaad
Seems rather unfair to me.

I think comentators are right.. usually smart girls would take the ring and talk about it later why she isn't ready. But I think many girls like grand gestures like that... and you would wanna do that to someone who you you are sure will say yes.

Having said that, a rejection on national TV is the best thing a man can ask for. I think it open the door to many excitement in future (ie pity sex)... once you get over the initial depression that is.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by goru
For a change, I want a girl to propose to a guy in front of millions of people... and fail.

A smart guy would NEVER reject in a situation like that. He would essentially end whatever future relationship that he hopes for.

[AsifTheManRahman]

[shaad]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I think comentators are right.. usually smart girls would take the ring and talk about it later why she isn't ready. But I think many girls like grand gestures like that... and you would wanna do that to someone who you you are sure will say yes.

I am not so sure about that Orphy; if you are already completely certain that the girl will say yes, then sure, that's fine, but then there's really no reason for such a brouhaha in the first place -- just take her someplace nice and romantic and then pop the question. Many of the instances of these unexpected public proposals (as opposed to say, engagement parties in Bangladesh) seem (to my cynical and suspicious mind) designed to take advantage of the shock and public pressure (because the masses always want a "yes" answer) to force the girl into saying yes.

Would a smart girl say "yes" in these scenarios? Perhaps some would, to avoid embarrassing the fellow. But many of the women I know, all quite fierce and intelligent, are more likely to get upset at the chap for putting them under the public spotlight like that, and simply reject him out of hand.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by shaad
Many of the instances of these unexpected public proposals (as opposed to say, engagement parties in Bangladesh) seem (to my cynical and suspicious mind) designed to take advantage of the shock and public pressure (because the masses always want a "yes" answer) to force the girl into saying yes.

Would a smart girl say "yes" in these scenarios? Perhaps some would, to avoid embarrassing the fellow. But many of the women I know, all quite fierce and intelligent, are more likely to get upset at the chap for putting them under the public spotlight like that, and simply reject him out of hand.

Shaad bhai, you are right in the sense that there is certainly a pressure on the girl to say yes but I am not sure how many men would employ such a tactic just to get a positive reply. Generally speaking, I think commitment to a life-long marriage takes longer time than 5 seconds to decide. As a guy, I would want a girl who would be happy to marry me, not a girl who is somewhat forced to. Having said that, I am sure there are some who will have no problem in employing this tactic on a confused soul. This is where intelligence of a girl come in handy. Knowing how to act in public situations like that, dealing with the assumed pressure is part of that intelligence. Perhaps saying yes and no later is not the most moral thing to do either. But what I don't like about this video is she walked away. She should have stayed with him. You don't have to say "yes" - just say "we need to talk about this later" - take the ring - give him a hug and stay with him.

Proposing in a half time or on screen in games is a very common phenomenon. You only get famous if something goes wrong. Why would you want that on you unable to control your "anger" for the moment.

take this video for example: (if this isn't fake)


Do you think this girl is someone with any brain whatsoever? This just looks BAD for her.

Now, I would employ such a public pressure tactic if I were to ask a girl out for let's say prom or on a date (and she has been ignoring me). But for marriage, never!

[Electrequiem]

What's all this talk about proposing-shroposing? Whatever happened to "Oi, tor biya thik hoise. Say kabul."

[shaad]

Orphy, I'm a cynic by nature. Now it's quite possible that my personal biases (not a big fan of public scenes, PDA, etc.) might be affecting my perspective, but I think any fellow who would propose during halftime like this (without being 100% certain of the outcome) is either not particularly smart (anyone with a modicum of intelligence or empathy would not put a possible future partner publicly and embarrassingly on the spot like this), or is hoping that the pressure would force her to say yes (which is manipulative and unethical).

Now, yes, that video might not reflect very well on her. But you are expecting a girl, suddenly, unexpectedly, and embarrassingly put on the spot, with TV cameras and the gaze of thousands on her, with the crowd chanting at her to say yes, to think levelheadedly about what might be the best way not to embarrass her date, the same date who apparently didn't have any reservations about embarrassing her by staging this spectacle in the first place? I think that's a tad unfair.

Also, sadly, having largely worked in places where many of my peers have not been terribly socially adept, I have seen the public pressure tactic attempted a number of times (often on second and third dates). You'll understand why my sympathies tend to side with the girl.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by shaad
You'll understand why my sympathies tend to side with the girl.

yes I see it. But the thing is we are only talking about few rejections here. What about the hundreds of proposals that actually work (and you can not say they are all due to "public pressure" or all knew before hand).

Girls like to talk about their grand proposals ie her co-worker was proposed under the sea where her husband came riding on a dolphin while the dolphin put a blue diamond on her finger.

I think guys go through a lot to set up perfect surprises and I think it can be devastating when you don't get the result. Proposing anywhere without being sure is always challenging. And a girl should understand that. It's not always about her. There are two people in a relationship.

[shaad]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
yes I see it. But the thing is we are only talking about few rejections here. What about the hundreds of proposals that actually work (and you can not say they are all due to "public pressure" or all knew before hand).

I suspect that most guys who pop the question during such public events are quite certain that the girl will say yes. If the assessment of most of these guys are correct, then yes, most of these proposals will actually work -- the girl might be shocked and embarrassed, but if she had already decided to marry the chap, she would still say yes. We were, however, focusing on the cases where the girl rejected the proposal. I think it's fair to say that in those specific cases the proposals came as unexpected and embarrassing surprises to girls who hadn't already made up their minds to marry the boys in question. Expecting them to then worry about not embarrassing the boy who embarrassed them in the first place seems to me to be asking a lot.

Girls like to talk about their grand proposals ie her co-worker was proposed under the sea where her husband came riding on a dolphin while the dolphin put a blue diamond on her finger.

Some, sure. But let's not generalize from a few examples to all girls. And simply because she might like to talk about grand proposals doesn't mean that she won't say yes unless you indulge in some Bollywood-inspired feats of derring-do.

I think guys go through a lot to set up perfect surprises and I think it can be devastating when you don't get the result. Proposing anywhere without being sure is always challenging. And a girl should understand that. It's not always about her. There are two people in a relationship.

I suppose my question here is "Why?" If you're a guy, why do you need to bother to go to all this effort to set up a perfect public surprise? If the two of you are right for one another, why isn't simply asking her when the two of you are alone sufficient? I agree with you that there are two people in a relationship, and that it's not always about her. And I also agree that proposing anywhere without being certain is challenging. But then, why risk embarrassing her, or being publicly devastated yourself, by making it such a public spectacle? I am sorry, but I simply can't have any sympathy for a guy who sets himself up for such a fall when simpler, more reasonable alternatives are available.

Realize, of course, that I don't mean you specifically, Orphy, when I use the generic "you" in this post. I dare say you have all the girls in the area eating out of your hand, and look forward to being invited to all four of your weddings.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by shaad
I suspect that most guys who pop the question during such public events are quite certain that the girl will say yes. If the assessment of most of these guys are correct, then yes, most of these proposals will actually work -- the girl might be shocked and embarrassed, but if she had already decided to marry the chap, she would still say yes. We were, however, focusing on the cases where the girl rejected the proposal. I think it's fair to say that in those specific cases the proposals came as unexpected and embarrassing surprises to girls who hadn't already made up their minds to marry the boys in question. Expecting them to then worry about not embarrassing the boy who embarrassed them in the first place seems to me to be asking a lot.

Why are you associating all public proposal to be an embarrassing proposal instead of a romantic proposal (by the grand gesture)?

simply because she might like to talk about grand proposals doesn't mean that she won't say yes unless you indulge in some Bollywood-inspired feats of derring-do.

But it's not about her saying yes only. i can ask her to marry me while she is going for a dump and still get a yes reply if she wants to marry me. My purpose is to dazzle her and remember the proposal for the rest of her life. I want her to be the co-worker everybody talks about... I wanna be on the dolphin fish. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I suppose my question here is "Why?" If you're a guy, why do you need to bother to go to all this effort to set up a perfect public surprise? If the two of you are right for one another, why isn't simply asking her when the two of you are alone sufficient?

Why do we have big weddings? Why do we need so much expense and planning for that? Why do we have to buy her an expensive GIA certified top class diamond and not a 300 dollars from craigslist? The answer is because it is memorable. Because it makes her feel like a queen when you buy her a 25K diamond ring than a 300 one. She feels accomplished to have a "perfect" wedding - that's why all that planning and spending take place. Ideally, if both of us want each other, we can just go to vegas and get married cheap and save us bunch of money no?

Realize, of course, that I don't mean you specifically, Orphy, when I use the generic "you" in this post. I dare say you have all the girls in the area eating out of your hand, and look forward to being invited to all four of your weddings.

ofcourse! all four brides will be served for dinner.

[Zeeshan]

I really don't think it's the case that they propose them in stadiums and basketball court or in mass gatherings to put "public pressure." The simply reason is they want to make their proposals grandiose and I guess 'different' so that they can boast to their children how grand it was or to give an impression of something "larger than life" to fellow friends and coworkers. But the fact of putting pressure seems devious and exploitive and men, as much as we are dogs, are not shrewd making a proposal look like "closing a sales deal." So sorry shaad uncle, I disagree.

[RazabQ]

I believe in the non-proposal. Assume it's going to happen and then casually bring it up during a mundane activity, such as a walk or grabbing take-out.