Those of you who miss BD-Shardul(former banned member) He wrote a brilliant article on his blog that I want to Share with you: I was even thinking about opening a new thread about it: Deen is Advice
Quote:
Deen is Naseeha
Posted: July 5, 2011 in Islam, Personal, Self-Reflection, Work
Tags: bad day at work, Naseeha, sincere advice 0
Yesterday I got badly yelled at by one of my senior colleagues for a mistake. It was a bad day at work.
“You should know that you are new at industry. You should only observe and see. Do not be over confident. Always ask……bla.. bla.. bla..”
His harsh tone was piercing me. His each word was like a poisonous stab.
I felt belittled. I felt insulted. I felt miserable. I was very hurt inside.
Normally a person reprimands someone who is lower in hierarchy. Therefore the person being reprimanded often cannot say anything in reply.
Today when I was being reprimanded harshly, I did not have much to say either. I indeed made a mistake, and I am still new in my job. Nevertheless, when I had opened my mouth to say something in my defense, I flustered my words at the face of such furious yelling.
For every action there is a reaction. My mouth may have failed to produce a composed response, but my heart yielded a measured reaction.
First reaction: Did I make a mistake? I am not arrogant to deny my mistakes, be it big or small. I made a mistake, took sincere note of it, and will strive to make sure I do not repeat the same mistake in future.
Second Reaction: Did I lose respect for the guy who was harsh towards me? To be honest, I did. May be because of professional needs I will again talk with him. May be I will even smile at him. However, shall I be able to completely forgive him and respect him from my heart? I do not know the future, but most probably, the answer will be NO. I cannot help it.
If we commit thousand sins and ask forgiveness from Allah thousand times, Allah forgives us thousand times. He can forgive us completely. His attribute of Al-Gafoor, which means All-Forgiving, is perfect and absolute. Thus, His forgiveness is also perfect. He not only completely erases our sins and bad deeds; if we turn to Him sincerely, He even transforms our bad deeds into good deeds.
However, being human beings, we are imperfect. If you humiliate me and make me feel terrible, and even if you do so for my own good, I may forgive you later, but in the remotest corner of my mind, I will always remember how you had made me feel one day. In other words, our forgiveness is imperfect.
There is a quote of Maya Angelou that says, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This is true.
The incident happened in the morning and for the rest of the day I could not recover from my hurt feelings. I could not concentrate in my work later. I could not even maintain the focus in my salah.
Words can be mightier than whip indeed.
However, because of the infinite mercy of Allah, nothing in this world is absolutely bad or absolutely good. Everything is relative. Although yesterday’s incident hit me very hard, it reminded me an incident that took place during the life of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), which helped me appreciate one of the Prophetic (ﷺ) wisdoms like I had never done before.
It is the incident of a Bedouin who suddenly entered the Prophet’s (ﷺ) mosque and started urinating. The Companions of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) shouted at him to stop him, but the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) prevented them, and allowed the Bedouin man to finish his job. Once the man relieved himself completely, the Prophet (ﷺ) said to the man, “In these mosques it is not right to do anything like urinating or defecating; they are only for remembering Allah, praying and reading Quran, or words to that effect.”
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) then commanded one of his companions to pour a bucket of water over the urine to clean the place.
The Bedouin was humbled by how the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) corrected him and taught him the etiquettes of mosque. The more he remembered how the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) dealt with him, the more his heart had been filled with awe and reverence for the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).
Being the Messenger of Allah, the Prophet (ﷺ) knew the psychology of human more than anyone else. He (ﷺ) knew that if he is harsh in his process of correcting someone, it can produce two negative consequences.
1. Harshness may cause the person being corrected to question the sincerity of the person who is correcting, and thus the former may reject correction.
2. Even if harsh reprimand rectifies a person, it is very likely that the person will lose respect for the person who corrected him, and may never be able to overcome a bitter feeling towards his rude teacher.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) beautifully summarized the process of correcting people when he said, “Deen (Religion) is naseeha (sincere advice).”
It is not that I did not hear this beautiful hadeeth before. I did. At that time, my appreciation of this hadeeth was indifferent. But yesterday when I was at the receiving of a harsh treatment, this hadeeth of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) descended upon me like a heavenly comfort. I appreciated it and understood its meaning like never before.
Indeed religion is sincere advice. Angry words followed by statement “I care about you” are not sincere advice. Sincerity has to come from heart, and action followed should reflect it. How I compose my advice, how I present it, how I control my body language-everything reflects my sincerity.
Allah said in the Quran:
Kind speech and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury. And Allah is free of need and Forbearing. [The Noble Quran, 2:263]
O Allah! I seek refuge in you from hard-heartedness, and I ask you to fill my heart with compassion.
O Allah! Many times while dealing with my brothers and sisters in Islam, both in real life and in virtual internet world, I have failed to be compassionate towards them. I have used harsh words and bitter sarcasm. O Allah! Forgive me, and help me to mend my ways and make me compassionate in my dealing with fellow slaves of You.
O Allah! Help me control my tongue, and give me the tawfeeq to not speak out unless I am fully assured about my sincerity.
Originally Posted by Shock
Don't worry, no matter how much I damage islamic faith, it is Allah who guides. Let's say I bother my neighbour by doing stuff that is not civil, and the neighbour is non-muslim, no matter how much I bug them, if Allah guides them, they will convert to islam.
I am confused here ^^^
Why Allah will guide them?
You are the one who is bothering the neighbours, shouldn't Allah guide you first?
Isn't Islam teach us not to bother others? And still we think that Allah will guide them to convert into muslims??
__________________
> Start slow. Build a base. Then explode.
> I needed to perform so that I could give my countrymen an occasion to cherish and be proud of - Ice Man
> My photographs @ flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/obayedh/
By the way, the way you were talking about me, I will say that, you are judging me without any clue.
I will be glad if you enlighten us a bit more about you Shock, please?
__________________
> Start slow. Build a base. Then explode.
> I needed to perform so that I could give my countrymen an occasion to cherish and be proud of - Ice Man
> My photographs @ flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/obayedh/
Originally Posted by kalpurush
I am confused here ^^^
Why Allah will guide them?
You are the one who is bothering the neighbours, shouldn't Allah guide you first?
Isn't Islam teach us not to bother others? And still we think that Allah will guide them to convert into muslims??
Listen, Allah guides who ever he wishes. It could be a criminal, a daku, theif, prostitute and murderar etc. etc. You see Allah see's our inside. A criminal can have goodness in him, while an islamic precher could be a hypocrite. To make a clear, answer me this, have you seen the Gangster movie by Bollywood. You see Shiney dude was the gangster, he was never guided and even though he was not guided, he showed many good qualities in him. On the other hand, the detective guy had plenty of opportunity. He never took all of the opportunity. So you tell me, who should be guided by Allah first? If you mean Shiney, in my opinion, that is correct. I hope u understand now.
Originally Posted by Shock
Listen, Allah guides who ever he wishes. It could be a criminal, a daku, theif, prostitute and murderar etc. etc. You see Allah see's our inside. A criminal can have goodness in him, while an islamic precher could be a hypocrite. To make a clear, answer me this, have you seen the Gangster movie by Bollywood. You see Shiney dude was the gangster, he was never guided and even though he was not guided, he showed many good qualities in him. On the other hand, the detective guy had plenty of opportunity. He never took all of the opportunity. So you tell me, who should be guided by Allah first? If you mean Shiney, in my opinion, that is correct. I hope u understand now.
__________________
Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!
Originally Posted by Zeeshan
The genius in the post lies in breaking the character limit barrier to write one....succinct.....symbol. Sweeet!~~~~~~
That is not only also a universal violation of netiquette but also of our forum rules. The mods have been discussing this because this has become endemic - entire posts are quoted only for the quoter to write something inane like "khekz" or "me too" or "i agree" or not even write anything - instead have a smiley outburst. The mods were going to start on this, and unfortunately Bancan, your post and Zeeshan's snidement precipitated our action.
So, there we go. We will be kicking butt and taking names.
Originally Posted by Zunaid
That is not only also a universal violation of netiquette but also of our forum rules. The mods have been discussing this because this has become endemic - entire posts are quoted only for the quoter to write something inane like "khekz" or "me too" or "i agree" or not even write anything - instead have a smiley outburst. The mods were going to start on this, and unfortunately Bancan, your post and Zeeshan's snidement precipitated our action.
So, there we go. We will be kicking butt and taking names.
- As Admin
We are starting to dole it out:
A.2.1: Avoid all caps, all bold, excessively large fonts or excessive number of emoticons.
.
A.2.7: Avoid quoting large/long messages. Instead, consider quoting only the relevant portion needed to make your point.
If a religion is inherently true, why must a child (or others) be indoctrinated into it? After all, we don't teach our children that the sky is blue, leaves are green, gravity exists, etc.. As they grow up, they realize it themselves.
So why must I be told of the true god (and the true religion)? If they are so inherently true, should I not realize it?
Originally Posted by Electrequiem
Proselytizing religion always seems funny to me.
If a religion is inherently true, why must a child (or others) be indoctrinated into it? After all, we don't teach our children that the sky is blue, leaves are green, gravity exists, etc.. As they grow up, they realize it themselves.
So why must I be told of the true god (and the true religion)? If they are so inherently true, should I not realize it?
It is responsibility of guardians to educate children in islam. On this life Allah tests his servants. For a father, the children, their mother and himself will be responsible in the day of judgement. But for mother, it is the children and mother herself will be responsible in the day of judgement. If you read my last post, I said that Allah gives guidance.
Originally Posted by Crisis
Islam truly is the answer to many things brother Shock.
It is shocking to see Bangaldeshi youngstars who go abroad to study end up doing haram things like consuming alcohol, eating non-halal meat food ( Non-halal branches of McD, KFC, etc. ), committing pre-marriage adultery. O mankind, fear your Lord for it is to him you shall return.
Bhai live and let live... the world will be a much better place that way!! None of the bolded stuff really ends up effecting you or anyone!!
Originally Posted by Zunaid
That is not only also a universal violation of netiquette but also of our forum rules. The mods have been discussing this because this has become endemic - entire posts are quoted only for the quoter to write something inane like "khekz" or "me too" or "i agree" or not even write anything - instead have a smiley outburst. The mods were going to start on this, and unfortunately Bancan, your post and Zeeshan's snidement precipitated our action.
So, there we go. We will be kicking butt and taking names.
- As Admin
I like how I posted for the first time in days and got in trouble
__________________
Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!
Originally Posted by Electrequiem
Proselytizing religion always seems funny to me.
If a religion is inherently true, why must a child (or others) be indoctrinated into it? After all, we don't teach our children that the sky is blue, leaves are green, gravity exists, etc.. As they grow up, they realize it themselves.
So why must I be told of the true god (and the true religion)? If they are so inherently true, should I not realize it?
I do not proselytize, I invite If I cook a meal for you and Invite you to my house, It is for you to accept or reject it! I totally agree with you Bro that It would look mad awkward if I took that food and shoved it down your throat, lol!
The arabic word Da'wah means to Invite(lol, many people here knew that already). We should Invite others to Islam as it is a command from Allah.
Originally Posted by Rifat
I do not proselytize, I invite If I cook a meal for you and Invite you to my house, It is for you to accept or reject it! I totally agree with you Bro that It would look mad awkward if I took that food and shoved it down your throat, lol!
The arabic word Da'wah means to Invite(lol, many people here knew that already). We should Invite others to Islam as it is a command from Allah.
Beautifully put!
I must say we had minor differences at first and I was critical of Rifat but by now knowing him he has totally won my heart with his ethos many times.
Originally Posted by ammark
However, I think the Muslim experience and history in Canada and North America is significantly more evolved, and you find within an articulation of how to coexist and especially after 9/11 a more defined understanding of what it is to be Muslim in a democratic liberal society...It is interesting that in Britain though, that despite there being a strong articulate group leading Islamic discourse within and with British society at large, most followers of the faith there probably would not identify with them as much as they would with the cultural islam of the south asian diaspora. As an example think Myriam Francois-Cerrah vs Anjem Chowdhury!
Good post ammark but I wonder how true the comment that I have highlighted in bold is? There may have been a renewed and vigorous intellectual discussion on the role of Islam in American society post-9/11 but how has this reflected on the actual lives of American Muslims? Maybe those who live in the US could enlighten us about this.
I would also say that it isn't the cultural islam of south asia that many (particularly the youth) are adopting but rather a reactionary brand of the faith stripped of any cultural context. By this, I don't mean they necessarily adopt extreme positions but instead base their views in opposition to what they believe are threats to (Islamic) cultural and religious values. This feeling of 'I am always threatened' does not facilitate inter-religious dialogue or understanding.
March 13, 2012, 11:37 PM
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