beauty

[Zeeshan]

Originally Posted by MohammedC
Its actually ro1249...Gopal

apologies....a typo.

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
ro1249, ekhon to dhora kheye gela. Tomar bhalobasha to kebol khachar pakhir moto 5k mile radius er moddhe bondi. Dhaka to shei elakar moddhe pore na. Tahole ki tomar golpota asholei banoat? Naki tomar bhalobasha etoi tuccho?

sorry I could not comprehend that Bangla. I am bad at reading bangla even when its in english lol.

[Zeeshan]

i will see if i can come to service

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman (translated)
ro1249, now you ate caught. Your love is only caged bird like 5k mile radius in middle locked. Dhaka in that area middle wear not. Then is your story really made-up? Or your love so small?

Hope it helps.

[AsifTheManRahman]

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by Gopal Bhar
i will see if i can come to service

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman (translated)
ro1249, now you ate caught. Your love is only caged bird like 5k mile radius in middle locked. Dhaka in that area middle wear not. Then is your story really made-up? Or your love so small?

Hope it helps.

Oh ok I understand now. Seriously guys, I did NOT make my story up. I just kinda guessed on how far it is from Atl to Dhaka. I thought it was like 5000 miles but I now realize that my guesstimated number was way off. I really do LOVE this girl in BD!

[BANFAN]

Originally Posted by ro1249
what do you mean?

I mean, you have a better opportunity to know more about each others mind as you will be primarily talking. That helps to deepen love. staying too close at this stage is most of the time destructive.

You have a chance to decide concsiously if that's what you want for the rest of your life. Physical attraction will fade some day, the mind won't. So understanding that part is more important. Which is better in your situation. Hope u understand what I mean. unless you are an epitome of self control & illusions never affect you.

Wishing you all the best.

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by BANFAN
I mean, you have a better opportunity to know more about each others mind as you will be primarily talking. That helps to deepen love. staying too close at this stage is most of the time destructive.

You have a chance to decide concsiously if that's what you want for the rest of your life. Physical attraction will fade some day, the mind won't. So understanding that part is more important. Which is better in your situation. Hope u understand what I mean. unless you are an epitome of self control & illusions never affect you.

Wishing you all the best.

oh ok I get what you mean. Yeah hopefully this will be a blessing in disguise.

[ammark]

Originally Posted by ro1249
Oh ok I understand now. Seriously guys, I did NOT make my story up. I just kinda guessed on how far it is from Atl to Dhaka. I thought it was like 5000 miles but I now realize that my guesstimated number was way off. I really do LOVE this girl in BD!

ro1249 I wont question your love and commitment in any way. Many of us here have had very special relationships when we were in our teenage years. I have a friend who had her boyfriend in Atlanta when she was your age.

What I want to say is, enjoy your relationship as much as you can. Its great being in love. But the flipside is, for it to last requires patience and maturity. And you'll always continue to grow up, grow old, experience life, and gain more maturity about conducting yourself in life - intellectually, emotionally, especially in your relationship.

Ultimately it will be the mundane aspects of life that will define your relationship as well, not just the romance.

Anyways, here's a bunch of stories wonderfully narrated by shaad bhai about love and romance.

[shaad]

Originally Posted by CholCholBD
LDRs may work.
But u r asking a lot from the other person.
...................And at 15, I wonder how much patience and passion there is in the relationship..however good luck...only time will tell.

Originally Posted by Zunaid
1. LDR's can work. I have seen many examples of it succeeding including mine. The key is to terminate the "L" ASAP.
2. 15 - relationships at this age are like itches. Enjoy the scratching but the itch will heal. Come back in your 20s.

I have to agree with CholCholBD and Zunaid on this one. LDRs may and can work, but they are definitely not easy. The fact is that when one is young, one is still in the process of maturing, of changing and evolving; and if the two of you are not in the same locale, the odds are that you will both evolve and mature in somewhat divergent ways, and gradually grow apart from one another.

In my own case, I was involved with a young woman when we were both sophomores at Princeton. We both graduated, I went off to Stanford for my PhD, while she headed off to Harvard Law School. We continued the relationship for three more years, but by the end of it, we had both changed so much that maintaining the romance was much more stressful than not having it at all. We are still very good friends, but that's probably because we were both smart enough to end our romance before the stress destroyed our friendship too.

In contrast, I met the woman I eventually fell in love with and married towards the end of my graduate school career, when I was somewhat older and more set in my ways. I subsequently moved to Harvard to do a postdoc, so we had a little LDR going on for a while. Fortunately, she also soon moved to Boston for both another degree, and to open a new branch of her organization. Of course, as luck would have it, my job now keeps me in the DC Metro Area, while hers keeps her in Boston. So we're temporarily back to a LDR again, but what with being older and flying back and forth every other week, it's no longer such a big deal.

So I would never try to dissuade anyone from a LDR. I just want to point out that it's not easy, and that if it doesn't work out, it's not necessarily your fault or that of the person you were involved with, and that you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

[shaad]

Getting back to the original subject of this thread, I find the old adage of beauty being in the eyes of the beholder to be quite true. I find most of the notions of what constitutes beauty to be extremely transient, based more on aspects of class and privilege rather than on abstract aesthetic principles, and culturally and historically malleable.

There is, for instance, an association of being thin with attractive. This is rather a recent phenomenon, and more of an association with wealth/class/luxury issues. In more primitive, subsistence-level cultures, fat women were considered more attractive (they still are, in Mauritania, in parts of the Middle East, and in South India before the advent of Cable TV). That's because fatness implied a wealthier/upper class woman who, in these cultures, had more food to eat. The current obsession with thinness is also a reflection of wealth and luxury -- it distinguishes women who have the wealth and luxury to hit the gym from those who are labouring at minimum wage jobs and able to afford only MacDonald's or Burger King for lunch, not exactly the most well-balanced of diets.

Similarly, fairness in complexion was (and still is, in Bangladesh and India) considered a major criterion of attractiveness, since it implied a degree of wealth and luxury that allowed a woman to stay at home and be sheltered from the sun; whereas less wealthy or privileged women had to work in the field and risk getting a darker tan. In the west, of course, this has once again begun to change. Pasty whiteness now means you have been stuck in the office all day. A good golden tan, on the other hand, now means that you are wealthy enough to take some time away from the office, and is considered more appealing.

An example that I am personally familiar with is one that afflicted my friends when I was growing up in Bangladesh. At that time, the '70s, East Asian features were not considered that attractive by Bangladeshis (probably because they reminded most Bengalis of our tribal people, who were by no means particularly privileged in our culture). Yet many of these same friends, having moved to the US where East Asians are just as privileged as whites, and having watched enough American movies and TV shows which frequently stereotype East Asian women as alluring sex objects, now are engaged or married to Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese women, demonstrating how easily these criteria for beauty can be revised or overwritten.

Frankly, scientists have come across only two seeming constants in the notion of female beauty throughout historical periods and cultures. The first is a waist-to-hip ratio (measured circumferentially) of around 0.7 -- the rather petite Audrey Hepburn had this, as did the more voluptuous Marilyn Monroe (shocking described as fat by Elizabeth Hurley), or the ancient (130 BC) Venus de Milo Greek statue. There is some correlation of this WHR value with intelligence of offspring, optimal levels of estrogen as well as reduced susceptibility to diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disorders and ovarian cancers, which might explain why we have evolved such preferences.

The second constant appears to be left-right symmetry; both men and women, and even babies, appear to find faces that are more symmetrical to be more appealing. Since the human body develops by neatly splitting cells, good symmetry is a reflection of an individual being more healthy and having the genetic goods to survive development, making him or her (on evolutionary terms) a better choice for mating with.

Other than these two evolutionarily constrained facets, all other aspects of feminine beauty seem to me to be rather transient, arbitrary and/or subjective. So, notions such as women of countries X and Y being more beautiful than that of countries P and Q, remain just that -- perhaps arbitrarily and subjectively correct for one individual, but by no means universally true.

[Orpheus]

I don't think it's possible for this thread to get any geekier. Maybe somebody will surprise me.

To summarize shaad's interesting post, for those of you Palin loving with an IQ of -3 dummies out here:

There is only one beauty:
A rich girl with a symmetrical @ss who can bear numerous healthy children

kinda like Sarah Palin

[Orpheus]

I just measured my wife's waist to hip ratio. It's +2. I am worried. Now she wants to measure something of mine... I even more worried cuz I been lying to her all these time.

[tonoy]

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I just measured my wife's waist to hip ratio. It's +2. I am worried. Now she wants to measure something of mine... I even more worried cuz I been lying to her all these time.

Ki re orphy, kobe abar biye korle?

[sandpiper]

Post of the month

Originally Posted by Orpheus
I don't think it's possible for this thread to get any geekier. Maybe somebody will surprise me.

To summarize shaad's interesting post, for those of you Palin loving with an IQ of -3 dummies out here:

There is only one beauty:
A rich girl with a symmetrical @ss who can bear numerous healthy children

kinda like Sarah Palin

[AsifTheManRahman]

Originally Posted by shaad
In more primitive, subsistence-level cultures, fat women were considered more attractive (they still are, in Mauritania, in parts of the Middle East, and in South India before the advent of Cable TV).

Quite true and I think this reflects in European paintings of their highnesses from the middle ages (e.g. Queen Lizzy I) where the subjects are clad in rather loosely fitting apparel, thereby assuming a voluptuous appearance.

[goru]

Originally Posted by tonoy
Ki re orphy, kobe abar biye korle?

He is married, has a girlfriend, and is also single at the same time. Parallel universes.

[tonoy]

From now on, I gotta bring a measuring tape to the bar.

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by tonoy
From now on, I gotta bring a measuring tape to the bar.

that might work against you. I will be fine though

[Orpheus]

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
Quite true and I think this reflects in European paintings of their highnesses from the middle ages (e.g. Queen Lizzy I) where the subjects are clad in rather loosely fitting apparel, thereby assuming a voluptuous appearance.

accha accha - Geekiness level going up... it's at 9 now out of a scale of 8.. will we hit 10?

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by shaad
I have to agree with CholCholBD and Zunaid on this one. LDRs may and can work, but they are definitely not easy. The fact is that when one is young, one is still in the process of maturing, of changing and evolving; and if the two of you are not in the same locale, the odds are that you will both evolve and mature in somewhat divergent ways, and gradually grow apart from one another.

In my own case, I was involved with a young woman when we were both sophomores at Princeton. We both graduated, I went off to Stanford for my PhD, while she headed off to Harvard Law School. We continued the relationship for three more years, but by the end of it, we had both changed so much that maintaining the romance was much more stressful than not having it at all. We are still very good friends, but that's probably because we were both smart enough to end our romance before the stress destroyed our friendship too.

In contrast, I met the woman I eventually fell in love with and married towards the end of my graduate school career, when I was somewhat older and more set in my ways. I subsequently moved to Harvard to do a postdoc, so we had a little LDR going on for a while. Fortunately, she also soon moved to Boston for both another degree, and to open a new branch of her organization. Of course, as luck would have it, my job now keeps me in the DC Metro Area, while hers keeps her in Boston. So we're temporarily back to a LDR again, but what with being older and flying back and forth every other week, it's no longer such a big deal.

So I would never try to dissuade anyone from a LDR. I just want to point out that it's not easy, and that if it doesn't work out, it's not necessarily your fault or that of the person you were involved with, and that you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

Yeah, growing apart is something I am afraid of as well. I forgot to mention one other part. She is 17. This is a problem because girls usually get married pretty early in Bangladesh. I am afraid that her Dad might lose patience and marry her off in a couple of years even if she has a bf. So right now, the only solution I see to this is early marriage for me. Maybe when I turn 18.

[PoorFan]

Originally Posted by ro1249
Yeah, growing apart is something I am afraid of as well. I forgot to mention one other part. She is 17. This is a problem because girls usually get married pretty early in Bangladesh. I am afraid that her Dad might lose patience and marry her off in a couple of years even if she has a bf. So right now, the only solution I see to this is early marriage for me. Maybe when I turn 18.

I guess all the wise wards and posts on this thread gone in vain, either you are not listening or you are blind. Being a father of two children I am pretty much disappointed the way you think, and I can assure you no parents on earth will accept such childish ( in other wards irresponsible ) person as their law. You have lots and lots of things to learn to be a person or man first, before you even think of the ward 'marriage'.

If its not clear to you yet ... read the comments below [carefully].

Originally Posted by ammark
... What I want to say is, enjoy your relationship as much as you can. Its great being in love. But the flipside is, for it to last requires patience and maturity. And you'll always continue to grow up, grow old, experience life, and gain more maturity about conducting yourself in life - intellectually, emotionally, especially in your relationship.

Ultimately it will be the mundane aspects of life that will define your relationship as well, not just the romance.

[Rommel]

Well I was just throwing marriage out there as a LAST option in case things don't work out with her dad wanting her married. Hopefully, I can convince him other wise. Believe me, Marriage is something that I DON'T want to do until at least 25.

[AsifTheManRahman]

ro mia, disappoint korla. Ajkalkar polapain dekhi olpotei khushi howe jaay. Amader ekhon boyosh hoise, koi amra tomader dekhe onupranito hobo - ulta tomaderke dekhi shikhate hocche. Tomader moto chengra polapain er upor onek asha chilo amar - bishesh kore BC'r polapain er upor. Bhabsilam tomra ekekjon 2 haate 4ta girlfriend niya ghurba...amader moto 2/3 ta niye shontushto thakba na - kintu kisher ki? tomader ekekjoner mukhe dekhi humayun ahmed er uponyasher cheka khawa loser er moto kothabarta.

What next? "Shey aaj onner haat dhorey nirjon balukabelay shagorer nonta jol e paa bhijiye shurjasto dekhe...r ami durgom paharer churay acid brishtir pani te nogno bhiji" ?

Disappoint korla miya.

Gopal, do your thing.

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by AsifTheManRahman
ro mia, disappoint korla. Ajkalkar polapain dekhi olpotei khushi howe jaay. Amader ekhon boyosh hoise, koi amra tomader dekhe onupranito hobo - ulta tomaderke dekhi shikhate hocche. Tomader moto chengra polapain er upor onek asha chilo amar - bishesh kore BC'r polapain er upor. Bhabsilam tomra ekekjon 2 haate 4ta girlfriend niya ghurba...amader moto 2/3 ta niye shontushto thakba na - kintu kisher ki? tomader ekekjoner mukhe dekhi humayun ahmed er uponyasher cheka khawa loser er moto kothabarta.

What next? "Shey aaj onner haat dhorey nirjon balukabelay shagorer nonta jol e paa bhijiye shurjasto dekhe...r ami durgom paharer churay acid brishtir pani te nogno bhiji" ?

Disappoint korla miya.

Gopal, do your thing.

Yeah, I guess I am getting ahead of myself.

[sbsash]

bhaiya if she is older than you won't it look weird with you 2 standing together or are you taller than her?