How successful are you?

[DinRaat.]

How successful are you?

How do you define success is it something tangible and quantifiable or do you think success is irrelevant.


At my stage in like I think it would be hard to say, how successful I am. But that may not be the case for many veterans in this forum.

So on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the most successful, how successful are you.

I forgot to add a poll.

[iDumb]

very subjective. Depends who you ask.

Growing up, one of my best friends mom wouold say I am very successful - but she is comparing me to her son.

To me I rate it at 2. I am not even trying :p

[iDumb]

I think success should be measured by goals in your life.

If your goal is to be happy - success should be measured by how happy you are.
if your goal is to be rich - success shoudl be measured by how much money you make.
if your goal is to be famous - success should be measured by how many youtube hits you get

so on and so forth...

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by iDumb
I think success should be measured by goals in your life.

If your goal is to be happy - success should be measured by how happy you are.
if your goal is to be rich - success shoudl be measured by how much money you make.
if your goal is to be famous - success should be measured by how many youtube hits you get

so on and so forth...

So what are your goals in life.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
So what are your goals in life.

be happy, bed multiple women, be free, be a multi millionaires, change lives of others for better, be someone's role model, be the best among peers... and the list goes on.

So 2/10 , maybe 1/10.

whats yours?

I will be happy if i can get to 5/10 before i die. Seems very unlikely.

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by iDumb
be happy, bed multiple women, be free, be a multi millionaires, change lives of others for better, be someone's role model, be the best among peers... and the list goes on.

So 2/10 , maybe 1/10.

whats yours?

I will be happy if i can get to 5/10 before i die. Seems very unlikely.

I think the list will get shorter as we get older.

1.Have a legacy.
2. Make the world a better place.

Those are mine at the moment.

[Jadukor]

1. Be loved and respected by friends, family and colleagues. 9/10
2. Save enough for a luxurious retirememt. 5/10
3. Quit wasting time on BC. 1/10

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by Jadukor
1. Be loved and respected by friends, family and colleagues. 9/10
2. Save enough for a luxurious retirememt. 5/10
3. Quit wasting time on BC. 1/10

The last one gonna take some willpower.

[DinRaat.]

What do you guys live for, honestly has any of you asked yourself that question.
I honestly don't know what I am living for.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
I think the list will get shorter as we get older.

1.Have a legacy.
2. Make the world a better place.

Those are mine at the moment.

That is extremely hard to achieve. I think you should set lower goals in life. I think the way you measure your success should evolve (not necesarily get shorter) as you age. For you now, perhaps getting good grades, getting into good post-grad, getting the job or the degree u wanted should be your yardstick of success.. once you achieve that you will say - Meh - that was nothing... and your goals evolve - the way you measure success evolve...

When i think of success - schooling doesn't even cross my mind for a second now because it's over. It's an after thought. Now you are no longer sorrounded by ppl from highschool who u left behind. Now you in fields with ppl who had done it better. I work side by side with some ivy league grads who puts my education to shame.. My success yardstick is against them now... and once i can topple that - it will be something else.

Now going back to my friend whose mom thinks i am a great success compare to her son - but I am jealous of him. she doesn't know that. He got all the hot girls growing up and i wish i was like him. so i am a failure :p

so you see not all can have it all like Donald Trump - the ultimate successful man on earth.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
I honestly don't know what I am living for.

why do you have to live for anything? Just living... eating sleeping watching spors using the net is pleasurable. No?

Life is so beautiful despite the pain sometimes it inflicts on us. Knowing to tackle it and manuevering it is cool..

Just be glad u are not thinking where your next meal is coming from.

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by iDumb
That is extremely hard to achieve. I think you should set lower goals in life. I think the way you measure your success should evolve (not necesarily get shorter) as you age. For you now, perhaps getting good grades, getting into good post-grad, getting the job or the degree u wanted should be your yardstick of success.. once you achieve that you will say - Meh - that was nothing... and your goals evolve - the way you measure success evolve...

When i think of success - schooling doesn't even cross my mind for a second now because it's over. It's an after thought. Now you are no longer sorrounded by ppl from highschool who u left behind. Now you in fields with ppl who had done it better. I work side by side with some ivy league grads who puts my education to shame.. My success yardstick is against them now... and once i can topple that - it will be something else.

Now going back to my friend whose mom thinks i am a great success compare to her son - but I am jealous of him. she doesn't know that. He got all the hot girls growing up and i wish i was like him. so i am a failure :p

so you see not all can have it all like Donald Trump - the ultimate successful man on earth.

Then isn't it just endless,you will be in a cycle of ambition, wanting more and more until you die.

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
Then isn't it just endless,you will be in a cycle of ambition, wanting more and more until you die.

lol yeah I guess.. Maybe I should change the way I think. Maybe some insight from some memebers here will be helpful

But that's life. How outside perceive you vs how you perceive yourself is always gonna be different.

My friend's mom view of my life being success has no positive impact on me when I can't find satisfaction in life. I am living my life - no one else.

If you can wire yourself to think you are successful and happy in life - that would be great i think.

[DinRaat.]

Is getting married and having kids really worth it, seems overrated imo.

[SportingBD]

Health - 6/10
Wealth - 3/10

Life = (6+3)/2 = 4.5

[iDumb]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
Is getting married and having kids really worth it, seems overrated imo.

haha. you ahve to discover yourself to know the answer to this question if marriage and kids are right for you.

this decision will have the most impact in your life.

If you ask me - it's not worth it. If you ask someone else, they will say - they can't think of a life without their wife or atleast children. So you have to know yourself.

Good luck and don't rush to any decisions.

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by iDumb
haha. you ahve to discover yourself to know the answer to this question if marriage and kids are right for you.

this decision will have the most impact in your life.

If you ask me - it's not worth it. If you ask someone else, they will say - they can't think of a life without their wife or atleast children. So you have to know yourself.

Good luck and don't rush to any decisions.

How did you know that it was not worth it did it just come to you.

Or was it by second hand examples.

[Jadukor]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
Is getting married and having kids really worth it, seems overrated imo.

Those are outcomes of a relationship you will have with your loved one. Nobody gets into a relationship with the objective of marriage and kids upfront. That is a recipe for unhapiness and disaster. If there is chemistry it will evolve into love and at a certain time you will naturally feel like taking the next step. You will also discover that it is worth living also for that someone you truely love.

[SportingBD]

Originally Posted by Jadukor
Those are outcomes of a relationship you will have with your loved one. Nobody gets into a relationship with the objective of marriage and kids upfront. That is a recipe for unhapiness and disaster. If there is chemistry it will evolve into love and at a certain time you will naturally feel like taking the next step. You will also discover that it is worth living also for that someone you truely love.

Hmm. What is love? There are many examples of how men become a different person when the women he loves and marries doesn’t give him a child. Many times, even if the women gives birth to child and it’s a girl, the men wants another, he tries for a boy. The romantic guys those who believe in love say well it’s not true love. Than I ask.. what those men have gone through, have you? Imagine loving someone, but she has some problems, can’t give birth to a child? So many examples of those so called love turning the wrong way when the women can’t give what you want.

Eventually marriage is about children/family, be it covered with the tag ‘love marriage’ or ‘arranged marriage’. The example above I used is of a European, I personally know that person. She went through some tough time, until she had her second child, luckily a boy.

[DinRaat.]

Love is something intangible, it has no mathematical proof or theorem we can understand. I guess its a sort of carnal instinct, separates us from the animals.

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by SportingBD
Hmm. What is love? There are many examples of how men become a different person when the women he loves and marries doesn’t give him a child. Many times, even if the women gives birth to child and it’s a girl, the men wants another, he tries for a boy. The romantic guys those who believe in love say well it’s not true love. Than I ask.. what those men have gone through, have you? Imagine loving someone, but she has some problems, can’t give birth to a child? So many examples of those so called love turning the wrong way when the women can’t give what you want.

Eventually marriage is about children/family, be it covered with the tag ‘love marriage’ or ‘arranged marriage’. The example above I used is of a European, I personally know that person. She went through some tough time, until she had her second child, luckily a boy.

This is a good post.

[Jadukor]

Originally Posted by SportingBD
Hmm. What is love? There are many examples of how men become a different person when the women he loves and marries doesn’t give him a child. Many times, even if the women gives birth to child and it’s a girl, the men wants another, he tries for a boy. The romantic guys those who believe in love say well it’s not true love. Than I ask.. what those men have gone through, have you? Imagine loving someone, but she has some problems, can’t give birth to a child? So many examples of those so called love turning the wrong way when the women can’t give what you want.

Eventually marriage is about children/family, be it covered with the tag ‘love marriage’ or ‘arranged marriage’. The example above I used is of a European, I personally know that person. She went through some tough time, until she had her second child, luckily a boy.

I was speaking to dinraat who didnt seem to have a backward mentality like the men you describe. If he does then it is unfortunate for him and the girl. I dont hangout with people with that kind of medieval mindset so cant really relate or give you a nuanced answer.

[SportingBD]

Originally Posted by Jadukor
I was speaking to dinraat who didnt seem to have a backward mentality like the men you describe. If he does then it is unfortunate for him and the girl. I dont hangout with people with that kind of medieval mindset so cant really relate or give you a nuanced answer.

What I find frightening is the divorce rate that’s increasing with love marriage.
You ought to think that it’s love marriage and things will be smooth and rosy.

But in reality, love marriage is having more problems than arranged marriage these days! Shocking to be honest.

[DinRaat.]

Originally Posted by SportingBD
What I find frightening is the divorce rate that’s increasing with love marriage.
You ought to think that it’s love marriage and things will be smooth and rosy.

But in reality, love marriage is having more problems than arranged marriage these days! Shocking to be honest.

Salam brother.

Kind question: Do you have any stats to back that up.

[SportingBD]

Originally Posted by DinRaat.
Salam brother.

Kind question: Do you have any stats to back that up.

Wasalam bro. Google it. You will find many.

This quick one I found from Google. But outdated.

GUJRANWALA (Dunya News) – According to a report finalized by collecting data from the courts in Gujranwala, a fierce increase has been reported in divorces of love marriages in 2015. http://dunyanews.tv/en/Pakistan/3195...ve-marriages-i

You will find latest stats on Mr. Google.

From my personal observation of our Bangladeshi community here in UK and seeing how many love marriage end in divorces, I can say it’s frightening.