Joke of the day....

[Nasif]

Originally posted by Shafi

Bob says, "My brother may have been coming the other way!"

LOL! That was funny!

[Nasif]

Originally posted by Unknown

"THATS BECAUSE ITS A MICROWAVE NOT A TV!"

Wow, didn't expect that

[Unknown]

Well here is another one involving another dumb blonde. This time our blonde friend is a train driver. This is what happens on an ordinary day at work:

Basically there is a stretch of straight railway track for miles... The raiway track goes as such

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

But unfortunately our blonde friend drives the train as such:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She makes the train swerve on and off the track.

This makes all the passengers very sick, some vomit some even manage to do without a bathroom and are forced to use their pants (figure that one out).

Next day the the company she works for calls her for an investigation. The manager asks:

"Why did you drive the train in such fashion that the passengers become sick and crap their pants?"

She replies:

"Sir there was a man on the railway track"

"So why did you not run him over?", asks the manager.

So she replies:

"Sir thats what I was trying to do..."

[Hasib]

Originally posted by Carte Blanche
LOL... That's American for Hasib. (J/K)

Exactly what fun do u get out of making jokes about me?

[Edited on 21-3-2004 by Hasib]

[fab]

awww.. ignore them Hasib. They're just a bunch of losers :P

[Rubu]

Once American, British and Bangladeshi president/prime ministers get a chance to meet god and ask him question. First American president ask to God:
When will people in USA will live in complete peace?
God: After 50 years.
Pr: Oh! I can't wish to live that long!

Then it was british prime minister:

PM: When will people in england live in complete peace?
God: In 100 years.
PM: Oh! I can't with to live that long!

Of course now its Bangladeshi prime minister's turn:

PM: when people in bangladesh will live in complete peace?


God: Oh! I can't wish to live that long!

[Nasif]

Ok here's some:
When James Bond came to Bangladesh
James Bond is a stylish hero you know. Whenever people ask him of his name, he answers in his own branded style - "Bond, James Bond". Last year Bond came to Bangladesh for a quick visit. In Noakhali Swimming Complex, he met Pasha.
Pasha asked:
Hey, what's you name?
James Bond replied:
Bond
James Bond.
Then Bond asked Pasha the same: And what's yours?
Pasha replied:
Pasha
Choudhury Pasha
Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Kalam Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
Abul Kalam Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha.
From that day on, whenever people ask Bond of his name, he simply replies James Bond.

---

One man asks another man,
Man1: "Bhai, aapne koi gessilen?"
Man2: "Goru suri korte"
Man1: "bhai , eta aapne ki bollen"
Man2: "Goru suri te chal, dhal ar moshola kinlam".
Man1: "Bhai apnar desher bari koi?"
Man2: "Ken ami to noyakhailla".

Man1 smiles as he realized the other guy came from grocery!

---

Ashol Gadha
class ey teacher dhookey student der bolllen akhaaney gadha chara baakee shobai boshey poro . shobai boshlo kintoo ekta chele darai roilo.teacher jiggesh korlo "ki tumee taholey ashol gadha" student ta bolllo "na sir apnakey eka darai thakte kharap lagchilo, tai apnakey shongo diey amio gadha holam".

---

-Bhai....Apni ki gari kinlen?
--Bolbo
-Acha tikache....bolen
--Bollam na...Bolbo
-Boblo Boblo kortesen kintu bolen na ken
-Are bhai....Boblo garii kinchhi

---

Surd's Love for cricket
Bagga: 'My girlfriend says that if I don't give up cricket she'll leave me.'
Jagga: 'Oh! that's very tough, Right friend?'
Bagga: 'Yeah, I'm going to miss her'.

---

Answering Machine!
A sardarji, having bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day.
He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say, "abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon".

---

[abhs]

Brown and Robinson were two old men who were fierce rivals at cricket. One day, they decided to see who was the better player by having a game between them selves. Brown laboured for an hour to score twelve runs, but was bowled by the only straight ball he received. Both men were exhausted, and Robinson decided that he was too tired to bat and made for the pavilion, even though Brown had only to bowl at the empty wicket and break it to win.

As he lay slumped in the pavilion, an amused on looker strolled in and said, 'Congratulations.'

'What do you mean?' said Robinson.

'Haven't you heard?' said the spectator. 'Brown bowled thirteen wides!'

[Navarene]

Abul Kalam Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha

Reminds me one of my school mate. Believe it or not, his name goes like this: Abul Mukarrim Amanatullah Mohammed Mahzuzul Azeem Bazlee! (In a shorter form: A. Mu. A. Mo. Ma. A. Bazlee, thats how he used to sign in his exam sheet)

Though he used to allow us and the teachers to call him simply by Bazlee, and that was a great relief

[Tintin]

To drag cricket into this, some interesting cricketers :

ARRAPWRRKB Amunugama


SBHMWBTB Ellepola


AKTDGLAS de Silva

[Carte Blanche]

Laxman has quite a long name too, doesn't he?

[Edited on 3-5-2004 by Carte Blanche]

[abhs]

Originally posted by Carte Blanche
Laxman has quite a long name too, doesn't he?

His full name is- Vangipurappu Venkata Sai Laxman

Compared to the full names of the players mentioned by TinTin, not that long.

For instance, lets see the full name of Ranjith Amunugama.

Full name: Amunugama Rajapakse Rajakaruna Abeykoon Panditha Wasalamudiyanse Ralahamilage Ranjith Krishantha Bandara Amunugama

So, Laxman can not compete with Amunugama, Pasha or Mr. Bazlee.

[Edited on 3-5-2004 by abhs]

[Rubu]

talking about names, check out our rajin's full name.

Khondokar Mohammad Rajin Saleh Alam

one of my best friend wanted to add one more word at the end of his name so that during the computarized form fillup for SSC exam, the form will not have enough space to hold his name.

u know there are boxes that holds single letters.

[Navarene]

An Indian fan toured South Africa to watch India play in the African continent. He took his faithful dog Harbi with him.

During the first test in Cape Town Murthee Singh took his dog to the pub to watch the game. Both Murthee and Harbi wore orange clothes

"No dogs allowed" said the barman.

Murthee than pleaded with the barman that he has travelled all the way from India and the gatekeeper at Newlands did not allow him to take his dog into the ground and so he decided to watched the game in the pub. The sympathetic allowed Murthee in the pub

The game started. Harbi the dog stood on his hind legs and clapped each time the Indian batsmen scored a boundary.

"Thats a very smart dog you have" said the barman

"This is nothing!" shouted Murthee. "In the Indian subcontinent he does a triple summersault whenever India wins a match"

The barman was amazed and asked Murthee

"What does he do when India wins a game outside the Indian subcontinent"

Murthee looked a bit confused and than shout angrily,

"How should I bloody know!!!. I only have this dog for 18 years"

[James90]

[Zephaniah]

THIS IS NOT A JOKE


The Men's List:

Finally, the guys side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is act of terrorism and we do not negotiate with terrorists.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[TigerFan]

Lets post some funniest jokes here!:P

[Edited on 5-6-2004 by TigerFan]

[Nasif]

TigerFan:
I will merge your thread with the Joke thread. As it was continuing thread which went down under after some months.

[Edited on 5-6-2004 by nasif]

[abhs]

The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG): Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the present WEST INDIES Cricket team, they Can't beat anybody!!!

[Nasif]

abhs:
Now that was one funny joke!!! hahaha

[mzia]

A guy went to a Doc's chember. The doc asked him, " Whats the problem". He said, " My wife is short in ear. She cant hear anything." The Doc said, " Ok next time talk to her from 15 feet distance, if she cant hear anything then try 10 feet, then try 5 feet".

As the Doc said he went home and saw that he in the kitchen.

He asked his wife from 15 feet distance " What are you doing?"

she didnt reply, he asked the same thing from 10 feet, and she didnt reply againg. He asked her again from 5 feet distance but still no result.

So he shouted in front of her ear " WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!" .

Then she replied, " THIS IS THE 4Th TIME I AM SAYING THAT I AM COOKING !!"

[abhs]

... knew similar jokes, but enjoyed it again with different taste.

[crickipagol]

Lexus engineers have a way of testing to see if their cars are air-tight. They would put a cat in the car and close it up. They would check the car again in 24 hours. If the cat was dead, it passed the test. Chrysler heard about this and decided to try it. They put a cat in one of their cars and closed it up. When they checked it again in 24 hours, the cat was gone....

Enjoy!

[crickipagol]

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?"


- Chris Rock

[mzia]

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort.
The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn.
The wife liked to read, fond of book.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of
fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she
wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided
to take the boat. She rowed out a short distance,
anchored, and returned to reading her book as usual.

Along came the sheriff in his boat.
He said, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replied...as she thought to herself,
"-- isn't it obvious?"

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the fishing equipments.
I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape,"
snapped the irate woman.

"But, I haven't even touched you," groused the sheriff.

"Yes, that's true, she replied, "but you do have all the equipment."