Yet another...nonsensical (philosophical) rambling: Volume I (Suggested Front Page Article)

[Zeeshan]

What is cricket?
If Tamim makes a century in domestic and no one watches, is he still happy?
But...what is the meaning of cricket?
What is the essence of cricket?
Can a ball be in two places at the same time in particle physics simulation?
Can a batsman be both out and not out like Schrodinger's cat?
Can a batsman reach infinite batting average?
Does Bradman exist?
Is it ethical for Souyma to bowl a snorter to scare a batsman?
Did Ashraful wake up to be Tendulkar or did Tendulkar wake up to be Ashraful? (You are welcome Fazal!)
Is it out...though? I mean REALLY though?
Does Sorites paradox apply to marginal run outs?
Speaking of Ship of Theseus, can a batsman REALLY be lbwed?
Who invented the cricket?
If we never rounded off any statistics, would the space-time explode?
If a batsman hits a ball to Event Horizon, can he take runs forever? (I know a repeat of one of my earlier ones. Sew me.)
Define 'out'.
Define 'run'.
Who questions the third umpire?
Who played the very first cricket match?
Are women genetically inferior to surpass Man ever in cricket? (I am allowed one inflammatory clickbait.)
If a Siamese twin won a match, will he get.... 'joint' man-of-the-match award?
What is the sound of one hand clapping when opposition needs 1 off 100 in Mirpur?
Is match fixing altruism or criminal?
If killing Hitler off produced no Sachin, no Rohit, no Kohli, no Sehwag, no Binny...would you still pull the trigger to divert the timeline? (Your classical Trolley.)
Is hit wicket self-cannibalism?
If a person lived to be over 100 years old and lived to witness every single cricket match but a traumatic brain injury wipes his mind out and a new disc of all the recollections inserted, did he STILL watch the same matches?

These are the questions that keep a lad awake at night.

[Yankees]

if a cricket bat falls in the woods, does it make a sound?

Anyways, I will answer all your questions during my next procrastination break.

[Zeeshan]

Originally Posted by Yankees
if a cricket bat falls in the woods, does it make a sound?

Anyways, I will answer all your questions during my next procrastination break.

Why doctor, lawyer, engineer or computer programmer or other relevant profession you are not?

[Yankees]

What is cricket?
Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of eleven players.

If Tamim makes a century in domestic and no one watches, is he still happy?
A picture is worth 1000 words https://goo.gl/images/Kpjn1H

But...what is the meaning of cricket?
Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of eleven players.

What is the essence of cricket?
a batting side tries to score as many runs as possible after striking the cricket ball thrown at the wicket (or delivery) with the bat, while a bowling and fielding side tries to prevent this and dismiss each player

Can a ball be in two places at the same time in particle physics simulation?
Yes

Can a batsman be both out and not out like Schrodinger's cat?
Yes, the cat proved so.

Can a batsman reach infinite batting average?
No

Does Bradman exist?
Not anymore, he died in 2001.

Is it ethical for Souyma to bowl a snorter to scare a batsman?
No, it's unethical for him to be with the team.

Did Ashraful wake up to be Tendulkar or did Tendulkar wake up to be Ashraful? (You are welcome Fazal!)
They both woke up to be Lara.

Is it out...though? I mean REALLY though?
Unfortunately yes, zip up your fly pal.

Does Sorites paradox apply to marginal run outs?
Duhhhhhh

Speaking of Ship of Theseus, can a batsman REALLY be lbwed?
No, it is a construct meant to keep the MAN down.

Who invented the cricket?
Cricket was invented during Saxon or Norman times by children living in the Weald, an area of dense woodlands and clearings in south-east England

If we never rounded off any statistics, would the space-time explode?
Obviously, Yes

If a batsman hits a ball to Event Horizon, can he take runs forever? (I know a repeat of one of my earlier ones. Sue me.)
Yes if batting first. No if chasing, as he can only take runs until his team reaches the required runs. (same reason why batsman cannot reach infinite batting average -- see above)

Define 'out'.
Not in.

Define 'run'.
a unit of scoring.

Who questions the third umpire?
The fans.

Who played the very first cricket match?
See above. Children in Weald.

Are women genetically inferior to surpass Man ever in cricket? (I am allowed one inflammatory clickbait.)
Yes, women are just inferior to men. (I am allowed one inflammatory clickbait response.)

If a Siamese twin won a match, will he get.... 'joint' man-of-the-match award?
Yes if the twins are occupying a single position in the playing XI. No if each twin occupies a single position and each is allowed to bat without the other interfering

What is the sound of one hand clapping when opposition needs 1 off 100 in Mirpur?
F-you

Is match fixing altruism or criminal?
Altruism. Fixer uses the money to feed hungry orphans.

If killing Hitler off produced no Sachin, no Rohit, no Kohli, no Sehwag, no Binny...would you still pull the trigger to divert the timeline? (Your classical Trolley.)
Yes. F*ck Sehwag.

Is hit wicket self-cannibalism?
No. it is a mistake by the batsman made during a game played with too many rules.

If a person lived to be over 100 years old and lived to witness every single cricket match but a traumatic brain injury wipes his mind out and a new disc of all the recollections inserted, did he STILL watch the same match?
Yes.

These are the questions that keep a lad awake at night.
Now you may sleep. You are welcome.

[adamnsu]

Also cricket should not be mistaken for an insect related to the grasshoppers but with shorter legs. The male produces a characteristic musical chirping sound.

[adamnsu]

What is the essence of cricket?

This I think is different for different countries.

For England and Australians it’s a sense of pride and an excuse for drinking all day.

For sub continent, it’s the means of poking fun at the opponent and bragging rights

[adamnsu]

If a Siamese twin won a match, will he get.... 'joint' man-of-the-match award?

Technically only one batsman can be on each side and the runner these days have been removed. So this scenario cannot happen.

[Tigers_eye]

Originally Posted by Yankees

Unfortunately yes, zip up your fly pal.
....

He did leave himself wide open.

[Zeeshan]

Absolutely brilliant dude. Now I know others feel when Zeeshan hijack's other people thread and steal their thunder with absolute utter brilliance and murderous wit.

The fly one made my chuckle and this one caught me off guard and basically did it for me:

Is match fixing altruism or criminal?
Altruism. Fixer uses the money to feed hungry orphans.

In fact, class take note, it would have been even funnier and darker had you wrote:

Is match fixing altruism or criminal?
Criminal. Because fixer uses the money to feed hungry orphans.

So basically... "I win".

[Zeeshan]

Originally Posted by adamnsu
If a Siamese twin won a match, will he get.... 'joint' man-of-the-match award?

Technically only one batsman can be on each side and the runner these days have been removed. So this scenario cannot happen.

You never saw potato sack running in village sports competition?

[adamnsu]

Originally Posted by Zeeshan


You never saw potato sack running in village sports competition?

If that is the case, then you just answered your own question

[Zeeshan]

I think I met God in this thread today just now. Seriously 'book ta kepe utheche'. That's Divine Intervention 101. Inside joke. Don't ask.

[Zeeshan]

Originally Posted by adamnsu
If that is the case, then you just answered your own question

Thanks. Basically I win.